1
The turbulence startled her from her dream. It took a minute to orient herself after sitting up too fast; she fought a queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. The water in her glass rippled in concentric circles, and it reminded her of throwing small rocks into the pond at Graceland as a child. She checked her watch and discovered she had only slept an hour. Her eyes scanned the interior of the plane, and appreciated how, once again, the peaceful darkness was wrapped around her like a soft blanket. The pilot obviously had cleared the bad weather zone they had bumped into earlier. The monotonous humming of the engine provided the only soundtrack to her thoughts now. Just seconds earlier, she had imagined hearing screams. It must have been the dream after all. Her inner ears had obviously tricked her while she slept, her dreams all revolved around plummeting into the depths of a never ending black abyss. The strange thing was that that the darkness at the center reminded her very much of the dark center of a pair of eyes she could not banish from her mind.
Three more hours to go.
Three hours before having to face him.
Three hours to berate herself for the decision to take this plane in the first place.
Three hours to wonder if today’s events would have changed him.
Three hours left to tell him to go to hell, turn around, and fly halfway around the world to get back home. Get to safety.
“Miss Presley? Are you ok? Sorry about the rough ride- the Captain said he would try to go a bit higher to get over the weather front.”
She cleared her throat. “It’s ok, thank you. I have been on my share of rough rides, believe me.” The forced smile left her lips as soon as the attendant turned toward the front of the cabin.
Rough rides. Yeah, she was a veteran. The roughest ride had no doubt been her marriage to Michael. The marriage that had started with such high hopes but had crash-landed into a crater of despair.
“What would you say if I asked you to marry me?”
“I would say yes.”
They had the simplest conversation to seal the most complicated of deals. Her pact with the devil was presented by a man she had once thought to be an angel sent to rescue her. The funny part was that, at times, she had been convinced she had called to rescue him. He was beleaguered by those ridiculous charges and hounded by the police and the media in a modern day witch hunt. He had teetered at the verge of breaking down, at the very edge of self-destruction, and she thought it was her mission, and hers alone, to pull him back from the gulf of despair he faced. His trust had been destroyed, his innocence plundered, and yet, for some reason, he continued to trust her. He clung to that, and to her, like a nearly drowning survivor of a massive ship wreck clings to driftwood. Only, the driftwood usually did not get a big head from thinking it was sent by some higher power. It was just there in some random coincidence exactly at the time of need. Was that it? Had she just been a convenient object to be used by him and to be thrown back into the raging waters once he stepped onto safe land? The thought hurt and brought tears to her eyes. And here she thought he could not hurt her anymore.
But no, it was not all his fault. The role of savior had been deliciously sweet and fulfilling. Finally a purpose for a rebel who so often could not pinpoint her cause. She had relished the role of protector. And protecting him had not sufficed, no, she also had to make sure he was committed to making changes. She had basically coerced him to go into rehab. When he kept avoiding what needed to be done, she used a bluff and coldly threatened to break off all contact. When he delayed his admission to the clinic, she refused to take his calls, putting all her chips on one number in this risky roulette. Elizabeth Taylor even called at one point, begging her to relent, informing her that Michael had been reduced to a sobbing mess in the face of her ‘cold and abusive behavior’ as the old biddy had termed it. Lisa termed it ‘tough love,’ and was proven right when Michael presented for his intake at the clinic only hours later. Her beliefs of what was right for him had been validated and she had won. That time.
After the ordeal of the strip search, she was his rock, never wavering, never leaving his side. She sat with him as he ranted and cried, held him when he was shaken by devastating nightmares. And yet, after all that, after everything they had been through, he had chosen to disregard her warnings, chosen to listen to those who had abandoned him before, and stubbornly refused to listen to common sense. And worst of all, he had been unrelenting in his quest to rush through the process of building his idea of the perfect family. Of course, it was not all him. Her mother had found the weak spot in Lisa’s armor and had inserted her seed of doubt, watering and nurturing it ever so subtly in her quest to turn her daughter against her famous husband.
“You think he neglects you now? Just wait to see what he will do when you do give him a child. Look what your father did to me. I was nothing to him anymore, Lisa-Marie. I was the mother of his most prized jewel, and nothing more. Our marriage ceased to exist. Is that what you want? And what if you guys split up? Do you think your child would know one moment of peace and joy? You think you had no privacy before? What chance does a Presley-Jackson offspring have? How would you buy this child normalcy? How can you do that to another human being?”
Well, as it turned out, it had been a moot point anyway. She did not get pregnant. Not after she miscarried that first time. Michael had been elated at the news of her pregnancy so soon after they started sleeping together. Mr. Innocence had not been all that innocent after all. Neither had he been particularly subtle about his intentions. He had made his sexual interest in her known from their first meeting on, albeit in his very special, sweet way. At first she had been floored when she realized he was actually flirting with her. It had been so surprising, so totally not in keeping with the childlike image he had crafted. Well, there was nothing childlike in the way he fucked her. He had left her breathless and at the verge of passing out. Lisa liked her encounters to be interesting and stimulating on a physical as well as intellectual basis, and Michael totally stole her soul. Her heart had not been far behind. And her body became addicted to him so fast she never even noticed it happening.
Legally still married to Danny, she sped up her divorce after she discovered her pregnancy. Michael was frantic that word about the baby would get out and upset his mother. His plans for a huge, white wedding changed to the quickie ceremony in the Dominican Republic. Lisa found his urgency and their elopement to be very romantic. All she cared about were their plans to spend the rest of their lives as partners, lovers, and parents, and she did not care how that came about. Her mother, of course, had been horrified when the news broke, but publicly was powerless, issuing some bullshit statement about supporting anything Lisa did. If only! The only thing she had ever supported was Lisa’s divorce from Michael- a national holiday in Priscilla’s datebook by now.
Lisa begged Michael to keep the news about the baby to themselves, and he was excited to agree. They so reveled in their beautiful, private secret and joy. Then that horrible morning dawned, the morning she woke to unimaginable pain and soaked sheets surrounding her, drowning her body and soul in unimaginable agony. By now, the physical pain was gone, but the intense sadness rose once more, forcing tears from Lisa, which she stubbornly wiped away.
No, none of that! Stop it. Don’t think about it anymore. It was for the best.
And now, now she was on her way to a wedding. Well, to be honest, she was not going to the wedding, exactly. After all she had not been invited to the wedding, only to the wedding night…
Lisa begged Michael to keep the news about the baby to themselves, and he was excited to agree. They so reveled in their beautiful, private secret and joy. Then that horrible morning dawned, the morning she woke to unimaginable pain and soaked sheets surrounding her, drowning her body and soul in unimaginable agony. By now, the physical pain was gone, but the intense sadness rose once more, forcing tears from Lisa, which she stubbornly wiped away.
No, none of that! Stop it. Don’t think about it anymore. It was for the best.
And now, now she was on her way to a wedding. Well, to be honest, she was not going to the wedding, exactly. After all she had not been invited to the wedding, only to the wedding night…
2
“I do.”
Two such simple words--hard to believe they carried such weight. This was not the first time he had spoken them, so why was this so difficult? There was a world of difference between his mood and expectations for the future in comparison between his first wedding and this current disaster. Then, he had been full of hope, full of enthusiasm, and full of love. With every fiber of his being had had looked forward not only to the wedding night and making love to Lisa as husband and wife for the first time, but also to his promising and golden future with her and their family. Now, he was signing a business contract in an effort to satisfy expectations that were not his own. He dreaded having to share his name and his life with the woman next to him, whom he had long respected as friend, but in whom he had no sexual interest in whatsoever. The wedding night was out, therefore. Also, glancing over at her, he wondered about her overly happy smile and glow. She knew this was all about legitimizing the gift she was giving him--his child, so why was she going overboard with all these expressions of love and happiness?
His eyes returned to his focal point on the floor as he studied the design of the carpet. His voice had been barely audible as the vows were forced from his dry lips. His throat was on fire, and he felt dizzy. It seemed that every cell in his body revolted and protested this current predicament. The blood pounded in his ears; he was not sure he heard her part of the vows--not that he cared to. The words were devoid of any personal meaning. Well, no, there was something important connected to them. They guaranteed him full legal rights to his child, his mother’s approval, and an ongoing funding stream from his benefactor. The drawback was that once again the media would go ape-shit digging into his private life. Surely, no one would believe this quickie wedding. Well, at least he was consistent. This was not the first quickie wedding, so the speed of the nuptials was not too much of a stretch of the imagination. His choice of bride might require some bending of the mind, but hey, surely people married their friends and nurses who promised to carry a child for them all the time. His choice could not be that unconventional, could it? So, other than being married to someone he did not love as a husband should love his wife, everything was just peachy.
The hammering of the headache became overwhelming and intrusive. He lifted his head to ensure it was really over and that he had survived. One might think this was a terrorist attack or an execution, not a wedding. It was kind of hard to duck for cover when you are the one with your neck in the noose.
“Mr. Jackson, you may kiss your bride.”
Do I have to?
Well, really, it was not that he minded kissing Debbie- on her cheek. He really cared for her, after all. She smiled at him hesitantly and raised her face to him. Michael’s cold lips found hers, and he give her a chaste peck, almost missing her mouth.
An image of ruby red lips flashed before his eyes. Red, soft, moist lips, slightly parted, anxiously awaiting his mouth. He tasted their sweetness, felt their texture as he let his mouth meet them in his mind’s eye. He remembered the feeling of her velvet tongue engaging his in snakelike play. He heard her moans mixing with his, and saw blue-green eyes almost fully-hidden by heavy lids, begging him to take her…
Michael had to shake his head to dislodge the image. He had to focus, had to bring this night to an end so he could go on with his life. This was just a minor inconvenience; he could still achieve everything he had planned for.
“Michael?”
“I’m sorry; did you say something, Debbie?”
“Are you crying?”
Michael had to shake his head to dislodge the image. He had to focus, had to bring this night to an end so he could go on with his life. This was just a minor inconvenience; he could still achieve everything he had planned for.
“Michael?”
“I’m sorry; did you say something, Debbie?”
“Are you crying?”
Was he? He had not noticed the tear sliding down his cheek until now.
“Awe, you are so special, Michael. I love how you don’t hide your feelings and just let them show.”
Yeah, he showed his feelings, alright.
The justice of the peace congratulated them, shook their hands, asked for an autograph, and then finally left the hotel suite. Michael wondered if he was the only person who had to sign autographs at both his weddings. They stood around in awkward silence for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Debbie sat down and chowed down on the cold spread he had ordered. How could she eat? Was she not the least bit upset to be part of this sham? Right now, the thought of food only served to make him nauseous. He did pour himself a glass of wine, though.
He sat by the window, staring out into the clear night. This whole scene seemed surreal. This was his wedding, and here he was now, married to the mother of his child. His own special fairy tale had come true. Here he was with his wife and his child, ready to be part of the family he had always wanted. Too bad the cast of characters was all wrong.
Well, he aimed to correct that in a while. She should be landing shortly, and since all of this was really Lisa’s fault, he would leave it up to her to make sure his wedding night was a success after all. Of course, before that, he had to convince her that it was time to move their relationship from friendship back to lovers. He really had tried to give the friendship thing a try, he honestly had. However, he normally did not want to tear his friends’ clothes off as soon as he was in the same room with them. He also normally did not lie in his bed at night, fantasizing about said friend, missing her kisses and her touches
Michael was still not sure she actually was on that damn plane. His people had assured him she was, and his staff generally knew better than to lie to him. Still, he would not put it past Lisa to have paid double what he had forked out just to ensure she tricked him into believing she was actually compliant with his request. He had learned the hard way to never underestimate her. Part of him was still dumbfounded she had agreed to his proposition to come all the way to Australia in the first place. Well, maybe “agreed” was too strong a term. She had blown up when he first asked her.
“Why the hell would I do that, Michael? We barely have gotten back to being friends and now you want me to attend your wedding? Will I get to catch the bouquet from the blushing bride? Do I get to make the first toast?”
“I did not say I wanted you to attend my wedding. I said, come and spend time with me in Australia.”
“Where you will get married.”
“Where we can get to know each other again.”
“After you get married.”
“Can you stop saying that?”
He gulped down another glass of the ruby red divine liquid. Who had called whom that day he had asked her for a meeting? The day she agreed to be friends again. The day his life started over. Did it matter? All that mattered was that he had been successful in re-establishing contact. They were starting to be friends again, but it became more and more difficult to ignore how much had had missed her as a lover and partner. The sexual tension between them had started to build like radiation in a breached nuclear reactor. He was not sure how much longer he would be able to contain his mounting lust for her. Also, he was starting to suspect his advances would not be totally unwelcome. Sure, she would blame him afterwards, but her reproaches after the fact were probably well worth what came before.
“Michael, why don’t I just stay here tonight?”
His eyes flew back to Debbie who was licking her fingers clean of the remnants of some kind of sticky pastry she had packed into her mouth. Was she still here? Did she just say she wanted to stay? Now, this was not going the way he had planned at all. His patience for unplanned events had just run out.
“Uhm…I thought you said you would be more comfortable in a private home surrounded by friends?”
“Well, we are friends, and it would be so nice to be cuddled up to you tonight. I am sure this little guy would love it, too.” She patted her stomach.
A smile stole onto his face, and he walked over and rested his hand on her belly, feeling his little guy kick against his hand. Never in a million years would he be sick of this heavenly feeling.
“Whow, he really knows you, Michael. He only kicks like that when you are around.”
For one second his resolve softened. Maybe it would be so much healthier to be around Debbie and the baby tonight. He had no guarantee Lisa was even coming and more than likely, she was loaded for bear, and they would spend the entire time fighting. Of course, by now, he even missed his fights with her. Or maybe he missed what happened after the fights. Parts of his anatomy stirred awake and pushed away any thoughts of softening and letting Debbie stay. He convinced her she needed her rest, and that it was better if she was ushered away to an environment where paparazzi were less likely to pounce on her.
“Michael, are you expecting anyone? You have been checking your watch like every two seconds. And please, don’t drink so much. You have not eaten and it’s not good for you.”
Oh great, he just bought himself another mother! Why did women always become little mother hens as soon as that ring was on their finger? He chose to ignore her question and her advice and poured himself another glass.
The phone rang and made him jump out of his chair. Debbie seemed to have developed some secret ninja skills and beat him to the phone. She answered, looked puzzled, paused a second, then finally handed him the phone.
“For you. Something about a plane.”
He snatched the receiver from her and turned his back.
“Yes? This is Michael Jackson.” How come his voice sounded so unnatural?
“Mister Jackson, sir, the plane has landed. We are just checking if the plans are still the same.”
“Did you get the …” He glanced over his shoulder at Debbie who was not even attempting to conceal her curiosity. “Do you mind, Debbie? Can I have some space here?” His tone was sharper than he normally used with her, and she flushed, but backed away and retreated to the couch at the other end of the room. He fought back the twinge of guilt.
“Um…the package?” He cleared his throat.
“If you refer to the passenger, yes, sir, she is on board.”
“What is the…condition?” Another glance at Debbie who was now unsuccessfully pretending to be disinterested in the conversation.
“Well, she seems tired and a bit annoyed, but really she has not talked to us much, so I would assume she is just fine.”
Hm, that could mean any number of things since Lisa was sullen and quiet by default with people she did not know. Really, he knew she was very insecure, but instead of being pleasant about it, she came across as harsh and arrogant. Possibly, she was just tired from the flight. He chose to go with option “tired” as option “annoyed” raised his anxiety.
“Ok, so yeah, the plans are the same. Back of the hotel and through the kitchen. Don’t let her--I mean, don’t bring it in, and do not sign in. Just let me know after it is delivered safely.” Lisa would just love to be referred to as a package, but he really wanted to avoid Debbie catching on. There was no love lost between the current and previous Mrs. Jacksons, and he did not feel like dealing with more female drama than necessary tonight, or ever, really.
After he hung, up he sauntered back to the table, feigning an image of total innocence and relaxation. Inside, he felt like a loaded spring. He tried to sit back down, but his nerves got the best of him, and he surrendered to the urge to move. Debbie’s eyes followed him as he paced like a panther behind bars. Wisely, she did not say anything and just followed him with sad eyes, while she continued to eat cake.
“So, Debbie, the limo will come and get you in a minute. The team will lead you out back through the kitchen; I hope that’s ok with you.”
“I really don’t see why I can’t just stay here and avoid the hassle, Michael. It seems like you want to get rid of me already.”
Very perceptive of her.
“Well, no, I just want you to get some rest. And I will be up all night, working hard, you know...”
“Why are you blushing?”
He was certainly not blushing. And it was not induced by the word hard…
“So, Debbie, the limo will come and get you in a minute. The team will lead you out back through the kitchen; I hope that’s ok with you.”
“I really don’t see why I can’t just stay here and avoid the hassle, Michael. It seems like you want to get rid of me already.”
Very perceptive of her.
“Well, no, I just want you to get some rest. And I will be up all night, working hard, you know...”
“Why are you blushing?”
He was certainly not blushing. And it was not induced by the word hard…
“I don’t know, the wine, maybe? You were probably right about it not being good for me. So, I tell you what: I will get some food right after you leave, ok? And I will call you first thing in the morning. How’s that?” He managed a sweet smile and hoped it did not come across as too fake.
“Are you sure you won’t be lonely?”
Not if things went right for once.
“Don’t worry about me.” He approached her and gave her a peck on the cheek. “You are so sweet, really. And I love you for it. You know that, Debbie.”
Her eyes softened and he thought he saw a tear. She was such a softy! He liked that about her, she was easygoing and caring, very unlike the little wild cat he was married to before. Women should not want to fight all the time; they should be soft and pliant. Then again, why was he so intent to shove this paragon of womanhood out of his room to get ready for the tornado that would leave him in knots no doubt…in one way or another.
3
With eyes cauterized by fatigue, Lisa watched the city lights dance and twinkle, reminding her of a sea of Christmas lights despite the fact that it was slightly too early for Christmas. Of course, the memory of Christmas lights triggered memories of Neverland Ranch lit up so brightly it could have been seen from space without a telescope. Visions of Michael running around like a child with Riley and Ben, showing off the newest light effects twirled on the movie screen of her mind. Her eyes closed forcing her brain to recognize that the current illumination had nothing to do with Michael. When her lids once again opened, they begged the question of who had inserted the sandpaper that what would account for the scratchy, grainy sensation on her eyes, it took a moment to focus on the kaleidoscope blooming before her. The city sky was illuminated, causing her to question for one second to whether it was indeed night. Her body felt drained, and she had given up attempting to figure out what time it was at home in Los Angeles. Her body rhythm was all out of whack anyway when she travelled, and it probably would take her at least a week to adjust to the time change. With any luck, she would be back in LA in no time at all without having to deal with jetlag.
Unless he convinced her to stay.
No, if she held her ground, there would be no way he could accomplish this feat. Plus, Michael wouldn’t put up too much of a fight once she made up her mind to go--if he even deemed it worthy to waste any energy on her... Just like when she had filed for divorce, expecting him to come after her with pleas to make it work like he had done before…before when she had merely threatened to split. However, that time when she filed for divorce, he had called her bluff. Or maybe he had just been relieved she broke things off and ended the endless and painful cycle of fights, tearing at each other with words or self-defeating actions, quick, torrential make up sex, and more fights. They both had been miserable. She suffered immensely from the physical and emotional chasm separating them. He reacted to her outburst by hiding in his mind or in other countries.
When they were together, the tension had been unbearable, too. With all her heart, Lisa had wanted to make the changes necessary to save the marriage from destruction, but every time they shared space, she became a prisoner of her temper, her loneliness, and her anger. Her hopes had been dashed, and while her heart cried out for him to simply stay, love her, and hold her, her words had pushed him away further every single time, until they did not seem to share the same universe anymore. Why had it been so impossible to make him see how much she had loved and needed him? Good thing she was over all that now.
Which explains you hopping on that plane at the drop of hat.
It was not at the drop of a hat. I thought about it- for all of the five minutes it took to throw some clothes into a bag.
She really had to get a grip. Surely it was not healthy to engage in those endless conversations and arguments with herself. She wished she had someone with which to process this confusing mixture of feelings and thoughts, but, like all good junkies, she had hidden her obsession, projecting the image of utter recovery, and sparkling sanity. The last thing she had needed was to hear her own doubts reflected back to her by her nearest and dearest. Her mother would have reamed her out and probably would have had her institutionalized for danger to self and others. Even Janet might have asked if she had finally lost her mind, and Janet was furious with her brother right now for his marriage plans. Not too long ago, she had been just as exasperated with Lisa for her stubborn stance. Finally, raising the white flag, Janet announced she would once and for all withdraw from the position of top lobbyist for a Jackson-Presley reunion. She also might have added something about “two lunatics who deserve the misery they inflict on themselves and each other.”
Who needed enemies with such friends and relatives? Katherine, her former mother-in-law, had been the only kind and supportive shoulder to cry on. She had silently sat in her Encino home, sadly shaking her head, listening to Lisa rant, and assuring her that she had no idea what had happened to her son lately. However, Katherine did let it slide that she had thought it ‘atrocious’ that Michael did not plan on marrying Debbie. How about finding it atrocious that he had knocked her up in the first place?
“For heaven’s sake, Lisa, it’s not like I slept with her.”
How comforting to know that. And since he never lied or bent the truth she was sure she could take this to the bank. Like she really needed to have images of Michael caught in the throes of passion with Debbie. No, seriously, the image was so unreal it almost became funny. Part of her continued to wonder why he brought it up if it was not indeed what had been going down. Still, those had been the words when he had called her to let her know firsthand that he was about to be a father. Interestingly, she had managed to wish him well in a remarkably indifferent voice, despite fighting the urge to pull over and throw up. He had no doubt noticed her frozen tone as he had asked if she was being sarcastic. No, she really wanted the man she desperately loved to have a child with his buddy, the fertile nurse. She assured him she was dead serious and then, despite her best efforts, could not suppress the little comment that she was so happy Debbie finally got what she had wanted all along. As did Michael, obviously. She really hoped he felt all warm and snug when he was up all night, feeling sorry for himself, missing the physical comfort of her body next to his. Well, she was done being his Valium. He could very well invest in a top-notch cuddling blanket. Or maybe one of those disgusting fake pussies. Or, even grosser, go get it on with Nursey. But, more likely, and much easier to imagine, he would just revel in being alone, perfecting his victim act.
As often as Michael had emotionally sequestered himself from her during their marriage, he did not handle being alone well. He also did not handle being in a relationship well, so she really did not know what he wanted. Maybe this upcoming arrangement would be perfect for him. He had assured her he was marrying Debbie in name only, and that he never meant for her to be more than a surrogate, but that he felt he owed it to his mother to make things right. And marrying someone you did not love obviously had just fallen into the category of ‘doing the right thing.”
When he explained all this, Michael had looked at her as if it made all the sense in the world, showing that at least he was convinced of the logic and righteousness of his actions. He had asked her for a meeting and she reluctantly had agreed. They decided to meet on neutral ground in one of Liz’s apartments in Century City. She had refused to set even one toe onto Neverland and also did not want him in her house anymore. There were enough reminders of him lingering in every room, she did not need his physical presence to reinforce his absence from her life. He seemed surprised at not being invited to their former home, so Lisa stated she wanted to avoid confusing the kids. Since his apartments downtown and in Century City also held too many memories, it appeared for a couple of minutes as if the get-together was not going to happen. Once again, it seemed that everything between them was a power struggle or a business-like negotiation.
Seeing him again was painful and thrilling at the same time. It also scared the shit out of her. For one second, he almost seemed like a stranger and yet she was familiar with every move of his body, his scent, his expressions, his voice, and the way he looked at her. She had told herself that she was over him, that their connection had been severed and that she was not the least bit attracted to him any longer. That worked all the way up the elevator and down the hall. Then he had opened the door, wearing black jeans and a black shirt, taking her breath away. Michael stood in the space between the wall and the door, insecure, almost as if he had not expected her, his arm across the door, barring the way. Initially he stared at her, his dark eyes taking in her face, her hair, the dropping to her chest before he caught himself and lowered his gaze.
“Are you gonna let me in?” The trembling in her voice had nothing whatsoever to do with experiencing his appraising gaze like a scalding touch on her skin.
He had blinked and blushed, embarrassed at having been caught staring at her. When he stepped to the side, he still did not open the door wider, but instead forced her body to almost brush against his. She felt his heat, and a tingle went through her. The slight contact sent her nerves into song like the breeze bringing melody to the pipes of a fragile wind-chime. She told herself that she had only been angry at his childish behavior, which totally accounted for the tension she felt like a force field extending between them.
They had exchanged forced pleasantries, and Michael offered her a drink, no doubt to somehow bridge the awkward and stiff atmosphere paralyzing them. She wanted alcohol so badly, but she was well aware that water or a soft drink was the healthy and the safe choice. So, she asked if he had Vodka. So much for healthy –or safe- choices. Sanity was highly overrated.
“Isn’t it a bit early to drink?” He dropped his polite mask, and the familiar condescending manner shone through.
“Funny, ‘cause my father is dead, my mother is not here, and I am not married- so I guess I get to make my own decisions right now.”
The time for pleasantries obviously had expired.
“You might want to call the Church to check before I get it for you…just in case.” Michael had already turned as he mumbled the words under his breath, pouring two glasses of vodka.
“You don’t drink Vodka.” She ignored his remark, deciding he was trying to get to her. S he would not let him succeed.
“I do today.”
“Well, I guess you are a big boy now, too, Michael. Did you grow up finally?”
When they were together, the tension had been unbearable, too. With all her heart, Lisa had wanted to make the changes necessary to save the marriage from destruction, but every time they shared space, she became a prisoner of her temper, her loneliness, and her anger. Her hopes had been dashed, and while her heart cried out for him to simply stay, love her, and hold her, her words had pushed him away further every single time, until they did not seem to share the same universe anymore. Why had it been so impossible to make him see how much she had loved and needed him? Good thing she was over all that now.
Which explains you hopping on that plane at the drop of hat.
It was not at the drop of a hat. I thought about it- for all of the five minutes it took to throw some clothes into a bag.
She really had to get a grip. Surely it was not healthy to engage in those endless conversations and arguments with herself. She wished she had someone with which to process this confusing mixture of feelings and thoughts, but, like all good junkies, she had hidden her obsession, projecting the image of utter recovery, and sparkling sanity. The last thing she had needed was to hear her own doubts reflected back to her by her nearest and dearest. Her mother would have reamed her out and probably would have had her institutionalized for danger to self and others. Even Janet might have asked if she had finally lost her mind, and Janet was furious with her brother right now for his marriage plans. Not too long ago, she had been just as exasperated with Lisa for her stubborn stance. Finally, raising the white flag, Janet announced she would once and for all withdraw from the position of top lobbyist for a Jackson-Presley reunion. She also might have added something about “two lunatics who deserve the misery they inflict on themselves and each other.”
Who needed enemies with such friends and relatives? Katherine, her former mother-in-law, had been the only kind and supportive shoulder to cry on. She had silently sat in her Encino home, sadly shaking her head, listening to Lisa rant, and assuring her that she had no idea what had happened to her son lately. However, Katherine did let it slide that she had thought it ‘atrocious’ that Michael did not plan on marrying Debbie. How about finding it atrocious that he had knocked her up in the first place?
“For heaven’s sake, Lisa, it’s not like I slept with her.”
How comforting to know that. And since he never lied or bent the truth she was sure she could take this to the bank. Like she really needed to have images of Michael caught in the throes of passion with Debbie. No, seriously, the image was so unreal it almost became funny. Part of her continued to wonder why he brought it up if it was not indeed what had been going down. Still, those had been the words when he had called her to let her know firsthand that he was about to be a father. Interestingly, she had managed to wish him well in a remarkably indifferent voice, despite fighting the urge to pull over and throw up. He had no doubt noticed her frozen tone as he had asked if she was being sarcastic. No, she really wanted the man she desperately loved to have a child with his buddy, the fertile nurse. She assured him she was dead serious and then, despite her best efforts, could not suppress the little comment that she was so happy Debbie finally got what she had wanted all along. As did Michael, obviously. She really hoped he felt all warm and snug when he was up all night, feeling sorry for himself, missing the physical comfort of her body next to his. Well, she was done being his Valium. He could very well invest in a top-notch cuddling blanket. Or maybe one of those disgusting fake pussies. Or, even grosser, go get it on with Nursey. But, more likely, and much easier to imagine, he would just revel in being alone, perfecting his victim act.
As often as Michael had emotionally sequestered himself from her during their marriage, he did not handle being alone well. He also did not handle being in a relationship well, so she really did not know what he wanted. Maybe this upcoming arrangement would be perfect for him. He had assured her he was marrying Debbie in name only, and that he never meant for her to be more than a surrogate, but that he felt he owed it to his mother to make things right. And marrying someone you did not love obviously had just fallen into the category of ‘doing the right thing.”
When he explained all this, Michael had looked at her as if it made all the sense in the world, showing that at least he was convinced of the logic and righteousness of his actions. He had asked her for a meeting and she reluctantly had agreed. They decided to meet on neutral ground in one of Liz’s apartments in Century City. She had refused to set even one toe onto Neverland and also did not want him in her house anymore. There were enough reminders of him lingering in every room, she did not need his physical presence to reinforce his absence from her life. He seemed surprised at not being invited to their former home, so Lisa stated she wanted to avoid confusing the kids. Since his apartments downtown and in Century City also held too many memories, it appeared for a couple of minutes as if the get-together was not going to happen. Once again, it seemed that everything between them was a power struggle or a business-like negotiation.
Seeing him again was painful and thrilling at the same time. It also scared the shit out of her. For one second, he almost seemed like a stranger and yet she was familiar with every move of his body, his scent, his expressions, his voice, and the way he looked at her. She had told herself that she was over him, that their connection had been severed and that she was not the least bit attracted to him any longer. That worked all the way up the elevator and down the hall. Then he had opened the door, wearing black jeans and a black shirt, taking her breath away. Michael stood in the space between the wall and the door, insecure, almost as if he had not expected her, his arm across the door, barring the way. Initially he stared at her, his dark eyes taking in her face, her hair, the dropping to her chest before he caught himself and lowered his gaze.
“Are you gonna let me in?” The trembling in her voice had nothing whatsoever to do with experiencing his appraising gaze like a scalding touch on her skin.
He had blinked and blushed, embarrassed at having been caught staring at her. When he stepped to the side, he still did not open the door wider, but instead forced her body to almost brush against his. She felt his heat, and a tingle went through her. The slight contact sent her nerves into song like the breeze bringing melody to the pipes of a fragile wind-chime. She told herself that she had only been angry at his childish behavior, which totally accounted for the tension she felt like a force field extending between them.
They had exchanged forced pleasantries, and Michael offered her a drink, no doubt to somehow bridge the awkward and stiff atmosphere paralyzing them. She wanted alcohol so badly, but she was well aware that water or a soft drink was the healthy and the safe choice. So, she asked if he had Vodka. So much for healthy –or safe- choices. Sanity was highly overrated.
“Isn’t it a bit early to drink?” He dropped his polite mask, and the familiar condescending manner shone through.
“Funny, ‘cause my father is dead, my mother is not here, and I am not married- so I guess I get to make my own decisions right now.”
The time for pleasantries obviously had expired.
“You might want to call the Church to check before I get it for you…just in case.” Michael had already turned as he mumbled the words under his breath, pouring two glasses of vodka.
“You don’t drink Vodka.” She ignored his remark, deciding he was trying to get to her. S he would not let him succeed.
“I do today.”
“Well, I guess you are a big boy now, too, Michael. Did you grow up finally?”
His eyes met hers as he put down the bottle.
“I’ve been a big boy for a while now, Lisa. Or so you used to tell me.”
The double meaning could not be missed, neither could the tensions buzzing around them like a physical presence. Michael made sure his eyes let her know that he remembered how he had taught her body to adjust to his big boy. Surely, the fluttering in her abdomen was not anything but anger. And it meant nothing that it radiated to other regions not connected to physiological reactions to anger.
“Don’t flatter yourself. By the way, I used to tell all kinds of lies. I was told I suffered from a brain tumor. I’m all better now.”
“Hm, odd. ‘Cause you don’t look all better. I was wondering why you look so…so stressed. Do I stress you out, Lisa?” His head was cocked to one side, and an arrogant smile played on his lips.
“Did you ask me here to remind me how glad I am we are divorced? Too kind of you, but I had not forgotten.”
He held the glass out to her, avoiding bridging the gap between them, forcing her to step closer. She doubted one drink would make this disaster more bearable and was tempted to reach for the bottle. Instead, her fingers reached for the cold crystal, and he managed to rub his thumb over her fingers in what might have been an accidental contact. Only, Michael’s every breath was deliberate, his every movement planned and premeditated. Electric currents shot up her arm and down her chest, causing her nipples to tighten. Why did she feel cold and hot at the same time? Maybe she had a fever. Or a severe case of denial.
“Jeez! Are you that thirsty?” If he kept up his condescending asshole routine, she doubted she would be able to successfully restrain herself from wrapping her hands around his neck.
His sexy, sensual neck.
Dammit!
She stared down at her empty glass, amazed she had not even realized she had gulped down the clear liquid like water.
Two drinks later, it was almost tolerable to be in the same room with him. That was until he dropped his bomb: In detached manner, using a tone that seemed rehearsed, coupled with detached and almost clinical language, he informed her of his plans to marry Debbie. Lisa was not sure how she was supposed to react, so she got up and refilled her glass once more. Which was when he jumped into her stunned silence laying out his reasons for the marriage which sounded like a business plan instead of the loving union of two people intending to share their lives. He also told her he wanted her to hear it from him to lessen the shock. The vodka being poured down her throat barely registered. She was so numb she doubted drain cleaner would have made her blink. Michael looked at her like an actor waiting for his partner to jump in with her lines. The problem was her script had obviously been lost in the mail. Or lost in translation from Michael-logic to reality.
“Will you say something?”
What was he expecting? Joy? Happiness? Well-wishes? Absolution?
“Congratulations?”
He jumped up from the couch and started pacing.
“Are you deaf, I just told you what all this was about. Don’t act like….like…?” He raked his hands through his hair.
“Like what? Like I don’t give a flying fuck? I don’t.”
“I am trying to be nice here, Lisa, and you, as usual, are acting like a spoiled bitch.”
“Well, lucky for you, this bitch is out of your life. You don’t owe me an explanation. Soon, you will have a new wife to insult. So, go fuck yourself--and her.”
Lisa rose and put down the glass.
He stopped dead in his tracks, watching her pick up her purse.
“You’re not leaving.”
The tone was an interesting conglomerate of question and command.
“I think I’ve heard enough. You are getting married to the mother of your child. I am thrilled. Really. Ecstatic. You two deserve each other. Let me know when you register for china, and l’ll make sure to send a chamber pot.” The sharp turn toward the door was messed up by the waves of vodka sloshing through her veins, throwing her off balance. Michael reached out to steady her, and his palm burned through her blouse and into her skin. Lisa tried to pull back her arm which sent her crashing against him as he stubbornly refused to surrender his grip.
“You’re drunk. You can’t drive.”
She felt his breath on the top of her hair and the heat of his body against hers. Panic started to set in and fought for control with the scorching flames setting her body ablaze.
“I’ll get a cab.” Her voice sounded strained and husky.
Michael pulled her closer. He stepped into her already encroached-upon space, bringing her stomach in contact with his midsection, leaving no doubt that she also had started to affect him.
“Let me go. And you might want to go take a cold shower or visit your blushing bride. Obviously, there is no need to be chaste ‘til the wedding night.”
“I don’t want to take anything to my future wife.”
“Hire a hooker. You have the money. Like I said, I am done helping you out with your, um… little problem there.”
Her gaze lowered to the bulge that was anything but little at the moment. Michael stepped away and she used the advantage to head for the door. All she had to do was turn the knob and get the hell out--the promise of freedom was right there, waiting for her to take it. With unexpected hesitation she reached for the shiny, cold material, suddenly bereft of her resolve to leave.
“I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to be out of my life.” His voice was barely audible but exerted a pull stronger than any display of power ever could have.
Tears started to rise, burning her throat, making her tremble with the effort to keep them contained.
“You could have fooled me. You had no problems when I left last time.”
“I never wanted you to leave then, either. But I did not know how to stop you.”
“Asking me to stay might have been a start.”
“I’m asking you to stay now.”
She sensed him behind her, never having heard his approaching steps. He was still her most dangerous natural threat, a born predator, ready to pounce, robbing her of her sanity. He lowered his head and kissed her hair, then let his lips sink lower still, keeping his face right by her nape, as if unsure if he could risk kissing her there. She felt him inhale deeply, before he buried his face in the crook of her neck, sending the most thrilling of sensations through her.
Robbed of any voluntary action, she reached back and held his head to her as she offered her neck to him, enjoying the tingling buzz spreading through her body. Lisa turned and faced him again. Her face was raised to his. Michael changed the angle of his head, his mouth lingering above hers. She smelled the cinnamon from his ever present chewing gum.
“Michael…” She observed him licking his lips, chewing on his bottom lip for a second.
“Yeah?”
“We can’t do this.” She wanted nothing more than have him reach out and prove that yes, they could easily do this. Instead, he took several steps back. There he was again, backing off when all she needed him to do was to keep up the pressure and convince her that they would and could do whatever they wanted.
He cleared his throat and turned away from her.
“You’re right. I apologize.” She felt like slapping him for the formal tone he used, even as she knew from the sound of his voice that he was fighting for self-control. Why was he only listening when she really, really wanted him to ignore her?
His sexy, sensual neck.
Dammit!
She stared down at her empty glass, amazed she had not even realized she had gulped down the clear liquid like water.
Two drinks later, it was almost tolerable to be in the same room with him. That was until he dropped his bomb: In detached manner, using a tone that seemed rehearsed, coupled with detached and almost clinical language, he informed her of his plans to marry Debbie. Lisa was not sure how she was supposed to react, so she got up and refilled her glass once more. Which was when he jumped into her stunned silence laying out his reasons for the marriage which sounded like a business plan instead of the loving union of two people intending to share their lives. He also told her he wanted her to hear it from him to lessen the shock. The vodka being poured down her throat barely registered. She was so numb she doubted drain cleaner would have made her blink. Michael looked at her like an actor waiting for his partner to jump in with her lines. The problem was her script had obviously been lost in the mail. Or lost in translation from Michael-logic to reality.
“Will you say something?”
What was he expecting? Joy? Happiness? Well-wishes? Absolution?
“Congratulations?”
He jumped up from the couch and started pacing.
“Are you deaf, I just told you what all this was about. Don’t act like….like…?” He raked his hands through his hair.
“Like what? Like I don’t give a flying fuck? I don’t.”
“I am trying to be nice here, Lisa, and you, as usual, are acting like a spoiled bitch.”
“Well, lucky for you, this bitch is out of your life. You don’t owe me an explanation. Soon, you will have a new wife to insult. So, go fuck yourself--and her.”
Lisa rose and put down the glass.
He stopped dead in his tracks, watching her pick up her purse.
“You’re not leaving.”
The tone was an interesting conglomerate of question and command.
“I think I’ve heard enough. You are getting married to the mother of your child. I am thrilled. Really. Ecstatic. You two deserve each other. Let me know when you register for china, and l’ll make sure to send a chamber pot.” The sharp turn toward the door was messed up by the waves of vodka sloshing through her veins, throwing her off balance. Michael reached out to steady her, and his palm burned through her blouse and into her skin. Lisa tried to pull back her arm which sent her crashing against him as he stubbornly refused to surrender his grip.
“You’re drunk. You can’t drive.”
She felt his breath on the top of her hair and the heat of his body against hers. Panic started to set in and fought for control with the scorching flames setting her body ablaze.
“I’ll get a cab.” Her voice sounded strained and husky.
Michael pulled her closer. He stepped into her already encroached-upon space, bringing her stomach in contact with his midsection, leaving no doubt that she also had started to affect him.
“Let me go. And you might want to go take a cold shower or visit your blushing bride. Obviously, there is no need to be chaste ‘til the wedding night.”
“I don’t want to take anything to my future wife.”
“Hire a hooker. You have the money. Like I said, I am done helping you out with your, um… little problem there.”
Her gaze lowered to the bulge that was anything but little at the moment. Michael stepped away and she used the advantage to head for the door. All she had to do was turn the knob and get the hell out--the promise of freedom was right there, waiting for her to take it. With unexpected hesitation she reached for the shiny, cold material, suddenly bereft of her resolve to leave.
“I don’t want you to go. I don’t want you to be out of my life.” His voice was barely audible but exerted a pull stronger than any display of power ever could have.
Tears started to rise, burning her throat, making her tremble with the effort to keep them contained.
“You could have fooled me. You had no problems when I left last time.”
“I never wanted you to leave then, either. But I did not know how to stop you.”
“Asking me to stay might have been a start.”
“I’m asking you to stay now.”
She sensed him behind her, never having heard his approaching steps. He was still her most dangerous natural threat, a born predator, ready to pounce, robbing her of her sanity. He lowered his head and kissed her hair, then let his lips sink lower still, keeping his face right by her nape, as if unsure if he could risk kissing her there. She felt him inhale deeply, before he buried his face in the crook of her neck, sending the most thrilling of sensations through her.
Robbed of any voluntary action, she reached back and held his head to her as she offered her neck to him, enjoying the tingling buzz spreading through her body. Lisa turned and faced him again. Her face was raised to his. Michael changed the angle of his head, his mouth lingering above hers. She smelled the cinnamon from his ever present chewing gum.
“Michael…” She observed him licking his lips, chewing on his bottom lip for a second.
“Yeah?”
“We can’t do this.” She wanted nothing more than have him reach out and prove that yes, they could easily do this. Instead, he took several steps back. There he was again, backing off when all she needed him to do was to keep up the pressure and convince her that they would and could do whatever they wanted.
He cleared his throat and turned away from her.
“You’re right. I apologize.” She felt like slapping him for the formal tone he used, even as she knew from the sound of his voice that he was fighting for self-control. Why was he only listening when she really, really wanted him to ignore her?
She had left that day and was sure that she had just had the confirmation that their relationship was over for good. Michael and Debbie were about to have a baby, and to top it off, he had agreed to marry Debbie. This was her green light to move on. The only problem was that Michael seemed to have decided he did not really want her to move on too much. He started to send her a dozen of her favorite flowers every day. When she thought he had tired of her lack of response, the balloon bouquets that resembled the ones she used to send to him started to arrive, containing little messages taken from his songs, reflecting aspects of their relationship. The fragile layer of ice around her heart started become in serious peril of melting away.
“What are you trying to achieve here?” She finally had given in and called the number he had sent along with one of the messages.
“I want you to stop being mad at me.”
“Michael, people are mad when others do not return tools they borrow. Wives get mad when husbands do not put down the toilet seat. I am not mad. Being mad doesn’t capture what I feel at all.”
“I never left up the toilet seat.”
She had to laugh at the pouting tone he used. His tendency to take her words literally never failed to astound her.
“I miss your laughter.” His voice unleaded a barrage of butterflies in her stomach.
No, no, no! He was not getting to her.
“Michael..stop it. And stop it with the flowers and the presents. We are divorced.”
“So? Divorced people can be friends. I miss my friend.”
She closed her eyes. His words reflected the gaping hole in her life…and in her heart. He went right for the jugular of her most intense loss: Michael her friend, the man who let her in on his secret word, baring his soul, and letting her be his rock even as his mere presence stabilized her core.
“I’m not sure we can be friends.” Someone had to hold steady and defend the falling stronghold she had walled herself in behind.
“I can’t stand it, I am so alone, Lise. You are the only person who has ever been able to understand me.”
“I thought Debbie was in that role now.” Her eyes closed with the effort to remain stoical.
“I thought she was, but she is all excited about us getting married now. I mean, she knew she was just supposed to have the baby. I am so upset about all of this--and she is--happy? I mean, how do I know it wasn’t her who tipped off the tabloids?”
“I guess you have to trust her.”
“I don’t. I can’t.”
He had sounded so utterly lost and so alone. How in the world could she abandon him?
So, the phone conversations started up again. And before long, he had invited her to fly out to Sidney. Initially, it had seemed like a joke, and then it offered the unique chance to piss off Debbie. Her childish, impulsive side whispered that it would serve the new bride right to have the ex-wife come in and hold Michael’s hand, even as her newly-established mature side told her this was an impossible plan and a sure recipe for disaster. Still, Michael told her he needed her, so, as his friend, was it not her responsibility to ease his pain? If nothing else, this would be a perfect opportunity to clear up their relationship once and for all and prove that all she felt for him was friendship.
It is amazing what we can do when we start to believe our own lies and defenses. The car stopped and Lisa was almost relieved that her journey was almost over. The door was opened for her.
“Miss? We are here. I will get you in, then we will bring your luggage up later.”
What did he mean, he would bring her in? Last time she checked she was still able to walk. She looked outside and was floored when she noticed that instead of the bright front entrance welcoming her, she was greeted by a side alley and what seemed to be a kitchen entry.
The driver noticed her raised eyebrow and clarified, “Mister Jackson would like you to come through the kitchen entrance to avoid detection.”
Avoid detection? What was she? His dirty little secret? She had nothing to be ashamed of and did not care if everyone on the planet knew she was here to support Michael. What in the hell was he thinking? As irritation rose, Lisa swore under her breath, and thought that public attention to her arrival would be the least of Michael’s problems once she was through with him.
“I’m not sure we can be friends.” Someone had to hold steady and defend the falling stronghold she had walled herself in behind.
“I can’t stand it, I am so alone, Lise. You are the only person who has ever been able to understand me.”
“I thought Debbie was in that role now.” Her eyes closed with the effort to remain stoical.
“I thought she was, but she is all excited about us getting married now. I mean, she knew she was just supposed to have the baby. I am so upset about all of this--and she is--happy? I mean, how do I know it wasn’t her who tipped off the tabloids?”
“I guess you have to trust her.”
“I don’t. I can’t.”
He had sounded so utterly lost and so alone. How in the world could she abandon him?
So, the phone conversations started up again. And before long, he had invited her to fly out to Sidney. Initially, it had seemed like a joke, and then it offered the unique chance to piss off Debbie. Her childish, impulsive side whispered that it would serve the new bride right to have the ex-wife come in and hold Michael’s hand, even as her newly-established mature side told her this was an impossible plan and a sure recipe for disaster. Still, Michael told her he needed her, so, as his friend, was it not her responsibility to ease his pain? If nothing else, this would be a perfect opportunity to clear up their relationship once and for all and prove that all she felt for him was friendship.
It is amazing what we can do when we start to believe our own lies and defenses. The car stopped and Lisa was almost relieved that her journey was almost over. The door was opened for her.
“Miss? We are here. I will get you in, then we will bring your luggage up later.”
What did he mean, he would bring her in? Last time she checked she was still able to walk. She looked outside and was floored when she noticed that instead of the bright front entrance welcoming her, she was greeted by a side alley and what seemed to be a kitchen entry.
The driver noticed her raised eyebrow and clarified, “Mister Jackson would like you to come through the kitchen entrance to avoid detection.”
Avoid detection? What was she? His dirty little secret? She had nothing to be ashamed of and did not care if everyone on the planet knew she was here to support Michael. What in the hell was he thinking? As irritation rose, Lisa swore under her breath, and thought that public attention to her arrival would be the least of Michael’s problems once she was through with him.
4
Debbie finally had left after he had assured her for the hundredth time he would check in with her later. Did she really have to be so needy? Surely, she understood that Michael would continue to be extremely interested and invested in her welfare, especially since she was going to give birth to his son soon. However, that did not mean he had to be attached to her by the hip. It was perfectly acceptable if he called or had his people inform him about her condition since he had just spent the past two hours with her.
Two hours. So much could change in such a small time. Two hours before, he had been single. Well, to be exact, he was divorced, but that was not something he liked to think about. Not, when in his heart, he was still convinced that there had only ever been one woman for him. And not when he continued to believe in the eternal and unbreakable sanctity of marriage. After all, it was not “till some stupid paper you sign while you are mad do you part.” Last time he checked, the only legitimate separation was death. Which, by the way was why he had asked the justice of the peace to leave that line out of his current wedding vows. No way would he wish death on Debbie, and he sure as hell did not intend to have to die to get away from this situation.
“The situation:” that was how he thought of what was going on with Debbie. They shared a clean-cut business arrangement, not a holy connubial bond, even though he understood that he had put himself in a position that projected that exact image to the world. He always had intended to find the ‘one and only,’ and to grow old with that special person. What he had not bargained on was that the love of his life would turn on him, jump ship when things got a tad bit rocky, make impossible demands on his time, get jealous and unreasonable, and be just…words escaped him...well, be a straight up bitch.
On the other hand, he had also been amazed to find that he could not simply move on and leave the past where it belonged. At one point, he had honestly thought that his life would be complete once had parenthood to look forward to. After the loss of their baby, he supposed trying for another child right away would help Lisa and himself heal their immense pain. He remembered looking at her helplessly as she initially stayed submerged in tears, then spent endless and countless hours staring into space, lost to him and his efforts to comfort her. His words and his love had obviously not sufficed to get her over the loss. Anger had set in. What did she think? That his agony was less because he was not the one who had physically carried their hope for the future? Once, she told him she felt guilty for having let him down, for having been the one whose body had betrayed them. To him, such thoughts were utterly useless and also completely unproductive. The doctors had assured them that early miscarriages sadly happened quite frequently and that there was no reason to think they would not be able to have another child at some point. Lisa already was a mother, so why was she beating herself up uselessly? Obviously, her body was able to have children, so he thought it was best to move on and try again.
While Lisa was not opposed to the process of trying, she was hesitant about actually committing to having another child.
“It’s just too soon, Michael.”
Too soon? Too soon to overcome the pain and embrace their future? He had been stunned and angered by her refusal to see things his way and by her choice to instead wallow in sadness. So, while her way to heal had involved spending extra time with her kids and for some reason with her ex-husband, he had buried himself in work and in keeping in touch with his friends. Of course, complicated as this thing called marriage seemed to be, Lisa, then had announced she wanted more of his time. Which was ridiculous since he already spent crazy amounts of time thinking about her. He did not have to be in the same room to feel close to his wife. He also did not deem it necessary to assure her every five minutes of his love verbally. He married her- of course he loved her. And he knew she loved him.
Lisa, on the other hand, seemed constantly to need assurances, which confused him. Well, what about him? His insecurities were not exactly lessened when she took off on vacations with the man she had born children for. Oh, she hated that phrase, by the way. He told her she had children “for” Danny, and Lisa just about had taken his head off, and had informed him that women do not have children for men, but with men. This had then led to a two hour discussion and fight – all based on idiotic semantics. How weird that in his private life, words tended to get him into deep water routinely, while he was perfectly able to write lyrics everyone in the world understood. Just like when he had told her Debbie had again offered to have his baby. What he had meant was that she had offered to have a child, which he and Lisa could raise. Since Lisa, for whatever reason did not want to get pregnant, it seemed only logical to take Debbie up on the offer. And, to make things even more confusing Lisa had told him to go ahead and do it. So he had- and she had launched into space- and not in a good way.
Then, there was the battle over her father’s songs. Well, he still did not understand why there had to be a discussion and a small war about that at all. It was a business transaction that had made sense. This was not the first time that his business acquisitions had disrupted a cherished personal relationship, as Paul continued to give him the cold shoulder even after all this time had passed. Lisa had been furious when her mother informed her that he, Michael, owned several songs of Elvis’. She made it out to have been some evil gambit intended to take over her empire. The empire, which, by the way, her mother still did not let her run. So, why not be mad at her mother instead? No, she had come after him, even demanding he relinquish his rights. After at first being slightly bewildered, he became more and more annoyed with her histrionics on that topic. His business was not open to discussion with her. He had married her because he loved her and wanted to share his private life with her- his business was off limits.
So, overall there were many times when his marriage served as a thorn in his side, putting unbearable pressure on his already complicated life. However, he also had never felt more content and more complete than when being part of something bigger than himself. He was safe with her; he was sheltered, and at home in her presence. Their sexual relationship also did not hurt matters. Making love to Lisa had been great from the start. Lisa had awoken something in him that he only had been able to express in his music and dancing before. Not that he did not like sex before he was with her, but it had always seemed like another gambit in that weird dating ritual he never quite got the hang of. Being with Lisa had blown his mind and took his body to places he never knew existed in real life. She had unleashed something wild and animalistic and he still had not managed to rid himself of craving her, dreaming of her, wanting her.
There definitely was also this other side to their relationship- the side he had tried to block out and erase in his anger. The plans to have a baby with Debbie and to move on seemed like the perfect medium to wipe the slate clean. If only things were as easy and uncomplicated as he had envisioned them to be. But no, understanding grew as their separation expanded: they were about more than sex. They were defined by some kind of otherworldly bond, some deep connection that he had not managed to break. He missed her and he was lonely. The more he tried to ignore and nullify the tender memories of their time together, the more they surfaced. Finally, he had become sick of trying to go on without her. He was Michael Jackson; he had obliterated all kinds of boundaries- why did he have to adhere to ridiculous social conventions to make everyone else happy? Well, the question really did not matter anymore, as he had relented and had decided to temporarily comply.
On the other hand, he had also been amazed to find that he could not simply move on and leave the past where it belonged. At one point, he had honestly thought that his life would be complete once had parenthood to look forward to. After the loss of their baby, he supposed trying for another child right away would help Lisa and himself heal their immense pain. He remembered looking at her helplessly as she initially stayed submerged in tears, then spent endless and countless hours staring into space, lost to him and his efforts to comfort her. His words and his love had obviously not sufficed to get her over the loss. Anger had set in. What did she think? That his agony was less because he was not the one who had physically carried their hope for the future? Once, she told him she felt guilty for having let him down, for having been the one whose body had betrayed them. To him, such thoughts were utterly useless and also completely unproductive. The doctors had assured them that early miscarriages sadly happened quite frequently and that there was no reason to think they would not be able to have another child at some point. Lisa already was a mother, so why was she beating herself up uselessly? Obviously, her body was able to have children, so he thought it was best to move on and try again.
While Lisa was not opposed to the process of trying, she was hesitant about actually committing to having another child.
“It’s just too soon, Michael.”
Too soon? Too soon to overcome the pain and embrace their future? He had been stunned and angered by her refusal to see things his way and by her choice to instead wallow in sadness. So, while her way to heal had involved spending extra time with her kids and for some reason with her ex-husband, he had buried himself in work and in keeping in touch with his friends. Of course, complicated as this thing called marriage seemed to be, Lisa, then had announced she wanted more of his time. Which was ridiculous since he already spent crazy amounts of time thinking about her. He did not have to be in the same room to feel close to his wife. He also did not deem it necessary to assure her every five minutes of his love verbally. He married her- of course he loved her. And he knew she loved him.
Lisa, on the other hand, seemed constantly to need assurances, which confused him. Well, what about him? His insecurities were not exactly lessened when she took off on vacations with the man she had born children for. Oh, she hated that phrase, by the way. He told her she had children “for” Danny, and Lisa just about had taken his head off, and had informed him that women do not have children for men, but with men. This had then led to a two hour discussion and fight – all based on idiotic semantics. How weird that in his private life, words tended to get him into deep water routinely, while he was perfectly able to write lyrics everyone in the world understood. Just like when he had told her Debbie had again offered to have his baby. What he had meant was that she had offered to have a child, which he and Lisa could raise. Since Lisa, for whatever reason did not want to get pregnant, it seemed only logical to take Debbie up on the offer. And, to make things even more confusing Lisa had told him to go ahead and do it. So he had- and she had launched into space- and not in a good way.
Then, there was the battle over her father’s songs. Well, he still did not understand why there had to be a discussion and a small war about that at all. It was a business transaction that had made sense. This was not the first time that his business acquisitions had disrupted a cherished personal relationship, as Paul continued to give him the cold shoulder even after all this time had passed. Lisa had been furious when her mother informed her that he, Michael, owned several songs of Elvis’. She made it out to have been some evil gambit intended to take over her empire. The empire, which, by the way, her mother still did not let her run. So, why not be mad at her mother instead? No, she had come after him, even demanding he relinquish his rights. After at first being slightly bewildered, he became more and more annoyed with her histrionics on that topic. His business was not open to discussion with her. He had married her because he loved her and wanted to share his private life with her- his business was off limits.
So, overall there were many times when his marriage served as a thorn in his side, putting unbearable pressure on his already complicated life. However, he also had never felt more content and more complete than when being part of something bigger than himself. He was safe with her; he was sheltered, and at home in her presence. Their sexual relationship also did not hurt matters. Making love to Lisa had been great from the start. Lisa had awoken something in him that he only had been able to express in his music and dancing before. Not that he did not like sex before he was with her, but it had always seemed like another gambit in that weird dating ritual he never quite got the hang of. Being with Lisa had blown his mind and took his body to places he never knew existed in real life. She had unleashed something wild and animalistic and he still had not managed to rid himself of craving her, dreaming of her, wanting her.
There definitely was also this other side to their relationship- the side he had tried to block out and erase in his anger. The plans to have a baby with Debbie and to move on seemed like the perfect medium to wipe the slate clean. If only things were as easy and uncomplicated as he had envisioned them to be. But no, understanding grew as their separation expanded: they were about more than sex. They were defined by some kind of otherworldly bond, some deep connection that he had not managed to break. He missed her and he was lonely. The more he tried to ignore and nullify the tender memories of their time together, the more they surfaced. Finally, he had become sick of trying to go on without her. He was Michael Jackson; he had obliterated all kinds of boundaries- why did he have to adhere to ridiculous social conventions to make everyone else happy? Well, the question really did not matter anymore, as he had relented and had decided to temporarily comply.
In theory anyway. However, he had no plans whatsoever to stay away from Lisa from now on. He would find ways to keep their relationship low-key, and he would be patient and wait until he could wiggle out from his contract with Debbie- after she had fulfilled her obligation. Some part of him cringed, wondering when he had turned into this calculating, seemingly-heartless person. Was his mother right? Was he really becoming more like his father? Well, that had been the comment that had finally pushed him over the edge when she –ever so gently, of course- advised he put a ring on Debbie’s finger.
No, he was nothing like Joseph. Joseph was cold and devoid of the ability to love. For Michael, it was all about love. He was capable of intense, deep love- he just happened to love the very woman he had promised to love and honor for all times. So what if she right now was not his legal wife? She had messed up and thrown in the towel, thinking she could blackmail him into giving in to her definition of what their marriage should be like. Yes, he had been angry and torn apart- but when the cloud of debris lifted what was left standing was the small, but nevertheless living seed of their love that had refused to die. It was like a little plant surviving nuclear winter: an unlikely survivor able to carry love and life into the future of those who had lost hope.
One he realized that deep down he had not been able to kill all the hopes to have Lisa in his life, he had sprung into action to win her back. Nothing motivated him like a challenge. A small part whispered that really, she should work to get him back, but after their meeting he realized that she was a bit more upset about the baby and Debbie than he had anticipated. Obviously, she had not been able to move past that. He had convinced her he wanted to be friends, and part of that was certainly true. Their friendship was such a huge part of their relationship and he wanted it back. But- he had no intentions of stopping there. She had proven that she was not immune to him and that she continued to harbor very strong feelings, surpassing friendship, under all that rage. Once she had opened the door to their friendship, he would move in under the radar and see where they could go. Really, it was too soon to think about actually getting formally married again. One, he was married legally now, and two, things seemed to have gone really south last time before the ink had been dry too long on the marriage certificate.
However, he needed her there with him now to ease the pain and to make him feel alive and loved. Hence, the invitation to join him here. Her presence also served another purpose: she would be upset about the wedding, and why not have her where he could somewhat steer her emotions and her reaction before she worked herself into a lather reading about his nuptials in the paper. No doubt, the tabloids would happily write all about the new Mrs. Jackson. Speculations about his motives, which were not that difficult to guess, would abound. There would be pictures, which he had agreed to have released to make it all official. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure the nightmare had been real. Either way, it was best to have Lisa close by so he could explain once again to keep her from blowing her top. Also, physical proximity would help if all else failed and he had to use alternate weapons of persuasion and distraction. The thought made him go hard inside his pants. Damn! The woman had no idea what she did to him. Or did she?
As if conjured by his thoughts, he heard the front door open. Showtime! He inhaled deeply.
“Michael? We just got the word that she arrived. She should be on her way up. Just a heads up- she seems slightly…ah…irritated.”
Hi bodyguard, Carlos, stuck his head around the corner. Michael felt dizzy but was unable to pinpoint the exact origin of his breathless state: was he excited to see her? Or was he scared shitless to face her after what he had just done. Or was it a little bit of both?
“Ok, Carlos, thank you. Just let her come in. Oh, and…” He could not help but notice the heat rising into his cheeks, “You guys can take the rest of the night off. I won’t be needing anything.”
Carlos attempted to suppress a smile. Michael knew full well that his staff was aware of the nature of his tumultuous relationship with his wife- even though of course, they also knew they were divorced. So, maybe they just thought that he and Lisa would have a nice dinner together. As friends. Yes…which is why he had them pulled from door duty- to have dinner with a friend. In case she started throwing dishes at him.
“Are you sure, boss? She looks like you can use some protection tonight.”
Great. Just what he needed: his people to worry that Lisa was going to kill him. Well, at least they would come and check in the morning and notify his next of kin of his demise, if necessary. Crap- his next of kin was Debbie now. That would be almost funny. Maybe he should plan on staying alive to be around for that.
“Yeah, you are so wonderful to worry. But she probably is just tired from the long flight.”
He did not for a second believe his own rationalization.
Neither did Carlos, by the look on his face.
“Ok, Mike. Whatever you say. We are next door if you need anything. And the dinner is also on its way. Maybe Miss Presley will feel better after she eats.”
Miss Presley might be happier once she gets my head on a platter.
He shuddered…
One he realized that deep down he had not been able to kill all the hopes to have Lisa in his life, he had sprung into action to win her back. Nothing motivated him like a challenge. A small part whispered that really, she should work to get him back, but after their meeting he realized that she was a bit more upset about the baby and Debbie than he had anticipated. Obviously, she had not been able to move past that. He had convinced her he wanted to be friends, and part of that was certainly true. Their friendship was such a huge part of their relationship and he wanted it back. But- he had no intentions of stopping there. She had proven that she was not immune to him and that she continued to harbor very strong feelings, surpassing friendship, under all that rage. Once she had opened the door to their friendship, he would move in under the radar and see where they could go. Really, it was too soon to think about actually getting formally married again. One, he was married legally now, and two, things seemed to have gone really south last time before the ink had been dry too long on the marriage certificate.
However, he needed her there with him now to ease the pain and to make him feel alive and loved. Hence, the invitation to join him here. Her presence also served another purpose: she would be upset about the wedding, and why not have her where he could somewhat steer her emotions and her reaction before she worked herself into a lather reading about his nuptials in the paper. No doubt, the tabloids would happily write all about the new Mrs. Jackson. Speculations about his motives, which were not that difficult to guess, would abound. There would be pictures, which he had agreed to have released to make it all official. Or maybe he just wanted to make sure the nightmare had been real. Either way, it was best to have Lisa close by so he could explain once again to keep her from blowing her top. Also, physical proximity would help if all else failed and he had to use alternate weapons of persuasion and distraction. The thought made him go hard inside his pants. Damn! The woman had no idea what she did to him. Or did she?
As if conjured by his thoughts, he heard the front door open. Showtime! He inhaled deeply.
“Michael? We just got the word that she arrived. She should be on her way up. Just a heads up- she seems slightly…ah…irritated.”
Hi bodyguard, Carlos, stuck his head around the corner. Michael felt dizzy but was unable to pinpoint the exact origin of his breathless state: was he excited to see her? Or was he scared shitless to face her after what he had just done. Or was it a little bit of both?
“Ok, Carlos, thank you. Just let her come in. Oh, and…” He could not help but notice the heat rising into his cheeks, “You guys can take the rest of the night off. I won’t be needing anything.”
Carlos attempted to suppress a smile. Michael knew full well that his staff was aware of the nature of his tumultuous relationship with his wife- even though of course, they also knew they were divorced. So, maybe they just thought that he and Lisa would have a nice dinner together. As friends. Yes…which is why he had them pulled from door duty- to have dinner with a friend. In case she started throwing dishes at him.
“Are you sure, boss? She looks like you can use some protection tonight.”
Great. Just what he needed: his people to worry that Lisa was going to kill him. Well, at least they would come and check in the morning and notify his next of kin of his demise, if necessary. Crap- his next of kin was Debbie now. That would be almost funny. Maybe he should plan on staying alive to be around for that.
“Yeah, you are so wonderful to worry. But she probably is just tired from the long flight.”
He did not for a second believe his own rationalization.
Neither did Carlos, by the look on his face.
“Ok, Mike. Whatever you say. We are next door if you need anything. And the dinner is also on its way. Maybe Miss Presley will feel better after she eats.”
Miss Presley might be happier once she gets my head on a platter.
He shuddered…
Sudden noises in the hallway alerted him that the waiting time was over and that she finally had arrived. He closed his eyes and swallowed.
“Mike, you ok?”
“Yes, Carlos, I’m fine. Just tired.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow, but held his tongue, as he turned toward the door. “Miss Presley, good to see you again.”
Lisa had walked in, and she ignored Michael as she warmly greeted Carlos. They engaged in some small talk, then Carlos made his hasty exit, but not before once again assuring Michael he was next door.
Michael chewed his lip nervously and stared at Lisa, who also seemed to be at a loss for words. As he had been warned, she looked annoyed and bitchy. Her lips were pressed together and her eyes had that green tint that usually accompanied intense passion on either end of the affective spectrum. Still, she was a vision of loveliness . Her jeans hugged her tightly, and the blouse and leather jacket fit perfectly, conveying an image of casual elegance. Her hair was a bit longer again, and it flowed around her shoulders, making her look younger. She had kept her make-up light, her lips standing out, having been rendered slightly darker than their natural hue. All in all, she sent his senses into overdrive, and his blood on a rushing journey through every cell of his body.
“Hey. Welcome…” His first attempt to talk came out insecure and hesitant. The tone of his voice irritated him: he had nothing to be insecure about, after all. This was his hotel room and Lisa was on his turf.
“Well, I guess, I would feel a lot more welcome if I had not been brought in through the backdoor like some late night snack delivery.”
“It was not the backdoor. It was the kitchen.”
She raised an eyebrow. Oh, no, that was not the right answer… He felt like ducking for cover.
“Really? After more than 12 hours on a plane, you are going to argue with me about whether it was the back door or the kitchen, Michael? The fact is, for some reason I had to be snuck in like a dirty whore. Is that how you see me?”
Did she have to be so melodramatic? And crass? He started to ponder what he could have done with the money he just invested into that charter flight had he just left her ass back home.
“No, I see you as a dear friend, and I think I was pretty considerate to want to preserve your privacy and not announce to the world that you are here. The papps are out in full force…after…earlier.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably.
Taking a couple of steps closer, she threw her purse on the nearby sofa. He had kept his eyes on the ground, but raised them to meet hers as she stood mere inches away from him. Her scent momentarily took his breath away. How could she smell so good after just having been on a forever long flight? He inhaled deeply, and realized the warmth of her body combined with her perfume sent blood to all the wrong regions of his anatomy. Alarm bells went off: What was she up to now?
Not giving him a second to call up his defenses, she leaned in and brought her full lips temptingly close to his mouth. Had he not, hours ago, dreamed of those lips? Even though their feel and texture was branded into his mind, he could not resist the chance for a real life reminder of her sweet taste. His breathing rate shot up and he instinctively followed the pull toward her, capturing her bottom lip, sucking it in lightly, feeling her soft and pliant under him, her mouth opening up as he started to deepen the kiss.
Then the cold shower: She pulled back and laughed.
“Ha! I knew it! Good friend, indeed. You did not give me the good friend vibe. And that was not a kiss for a good friend. You are full of shit, Michael. You brought me here ‘cause you thought you could fuck me into forgetting that you just jumped into the marital boat with the Debster. Well, I hope it’s the Titanic.”
Damn her!
“You are so conceited. You just surprised me, that’s all. Old habits. You really think I need to charter a frigging airplane and bring you here if all I wanted was sex?”
“All you wanted? So you do want sex! You are such a liar- you told me before you only needed my support. I can support you with my clothes on and with my legs closed, you know. So, dream on, if you think you’re gettin’ any tonight- or ever again. At least if you think it’s gonna be with me. You do have a wife to provide those services- and it’s not me anymore.”
What a bitch. The heat rising in his head had nothing to do with desire as much as with becoming really ticked at her. Well, maybe it was a combination of both, but he told himself that she was becoming less and less attractive to him the more she bitched.
“I am so glad you came all this way to remind me of my marital status.”
“I would not have come all this way at all had it not been for your whining and neediness and I, like a total lunatic, fell for it again. You don’t need me. All you need is a blow-up doll and a tape recorder to whine into.”
“Well, a blow up doll would at least not make my head hurt with all that noise.”
“You are such a prick.”
“And you are an incurable bitch.”
Lisa had her arms crossed in front of her body as she glared at him. He returned her stare from his corner of the room. Suddenly, he felt childish for having engaged in her little game. He really needed to keep a level head here. He knew she was angry, and he knew she liked to goad him into fights to cover up what was really going on between them. It seemed so much easier for both of them to fight about stupid stuff instead of letting the other in as they had done in the past.
“I need to use the restroom.” Lisa sounded still a bit pissed, but she also seemed to have realized the both had slipped back into the ridiculous defensive bullshit that had driven them apart so many times before.
While she was gone, he poured them both a glass of wine and also retrieved a bottle of water for her. Ok, maybe there was a chance to start this messy meeting over again. His nerves had been on edge for hours, and he really needed to stop making things worse by letting her upset him. Michael dropped himself into the couch. His head fell back and he closed his eyes, wishing the drumming in his head to once again go away. This was definitely not going as planned.
Lisa came back out and sat on the couch next to him. Well, that was a good sign. She could have chosen the opposite love seat or the huge chair, but here she was shoulders slumped, looking tired and a bit defeated.
Silently, he handed her the bottle of water, and she thanked him before taking a couple of long gulps. She spotted the wine glass.
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
The both reached for it at the same time and their hands touched. He let his fingers linger, enjoying the feel of her warm skin under his, before pulling back.
“Hey. Welcome…” His first attempt to talk came out insecure and hesitant. The tone of his voice irritated him: he had nothing to be insecure about, after all. This was his hotel room and Lisa was on his turf.
“Well, I guess, I would feel a lot more welcome if I had not been brought in through the backdoor like some late night snack delivery.”
“It was not the backdoor. It was the kitchen.”
She raised an eyebrow. Oh, no, that was not the right answer… He felt like ducking for cover.
“Really? After more than 12 hours on a plane, you are going to argue with me about whether it was the back door or the kitchen, Michael? The fact is, for some reason I had to be snuck in like a dirty whore. Is that how you see me?”
Did she have to be so melodramatic? And crass? He started to ponder what he could have done with the money he just invested into that charter flight had he just left her ass back home.
“No, I see you as a dear friend, and I think I was pretty considerate to want to preserve your privacy and not announce to the world that you are here. The papps are out in full force…after…earlier.” He cleared his throat uncomfortably.
Taking a couple of steps closer, she threw her purse on the nearby sofa. He had kept his eyes on the ground, but raised them to meet hers as she stood mere inches away from him. Her scent momentarily took his breath away. How could she smell so good after just having been on a forever long flight? He inhaled deeply, and realized the warmth of her body combined with her perfume sent blood to all the wrong regions of his anatomy. Alarm bells went off: What was she up to now?
Not giving him a second to call up his defenses, she leaned in and brought her full lips temptingly close to his mouth. Had he not, hours ago, dreamed of those lips? Even though their feel and texture was branded into his mind, he could not resist the chance for a real life reminder of her sweet taste. His breathing rate shot up and he instinctively followed the pull toward her, capturing her bottom lip, sucking it in lightly, feeling her soft and pliant under him, her mouth opening up as he started to deepen the kiss.
Then the cold shower: She pulled back and laughed.
“Ha! I knew it! Good friend, indeed. You did not give me the good friend vibe. And that was not a kiss for a good friend. You are full of shit, Michael. You brought me here ‘cause you thought you could fuck me into forgetting that you just jumped into the marital boat with the Debster. Well, I hope it’s the Titanic.”
Damn her!
“You are so conceited. You just surprised me, that’s all. Old habits. You really think I need to charter a frigging airplane and bring you here if all I wanted was sex?”
“All you wanted? So you do want sex! You are such a liar- you told me before you only needed my support. I can support you with my clothes on and with my legs closed, you know. So, dream on, if you think you’re gettin’ any tonight- or ever again. At least if you think it’s gonna be with me. You do have a wife to provide those services- and it’s not me anymore.”
What a bitch. The heat rising in his head had nothing to do with desire as much as with becoming really ticked at her. Well, maybe it was a combination of both, but he told himself that she was becoming less and less attractive to him the more she bitched.
“I am so glad you came all this way to remind me of my marital status.”
“I would not have come all this way at all had it not been for your whining and neediness and I, like a total lunatic, fell for it again. You don’t need me. All you need is a blow-up doll and a tape recorder to whine into.”
“Well, a blow up doll would at least not make my head hurt with all that noise.”
“You are such a prick.”
“And you are an incurable bitch.”
Lisa had her arms crossed in front of her body as she glared at him. He returned her stare from his corner of the room. Suddenly, he felt childish for having engaged in her little game. He really needed to keep a level head here. He knew she was angry, and he knew she liked to goad him into fights to cover up what was really going on between them. It seemed so much easier for both of them to fight about stupid stuff instead of letting the other in as they had done in the past.
“I need to use the restroom.” Lisa sounded still a bit pissed, but she also seemed to have realized the both had slipped back into the ridiculous defensive bullshit that had driven them apart so many times before.
While she was gone, he poured them both a glass of wine and also retrieved a bottle of water for her. Ok, maybe there was a chance to start this messy meeting over again. His nerves had been on edge for hours, and he really needed to stop making things worse by letting her upset him. Michael dropped himself into the couch. His head fell back and he closed his eyes, wishing the drumming in his head to once again go away. This was definitely not going as planned.
Lisa came back out and sat on the couch next to him. Well, that was a good sign. She could have chosen the opposite love seat or the huge chair, but here she was shoulders slumped, looking tired and a bit defeated.
Silently, he handed her the bottle of water, and she thanked him before taking a couple of long gulps. She spotted the wine glass.
“For me?”
“Yeah.”
“Thanks.”
The both reached for it at the same time and their hands touched. He let his fingers linger, enjoying the feel of her warm skin under his, before pulling back.
“Can we start again, Michael?”
What was she talking about? Start this night again, or start their relationship again? This was so crazy, every word was leaden with double meanings for him, and he felt he was walking a constant tight rope. Ok, he would try and just take this at face value.
“Yeah. I’m sorry about my tone earlier. I am so glad you came. Really.”
“Are you?”
The nod was silent, his eyes serious. Amazingly, he meant it. He would rather spend the next days engaged in crazy, nonsensical fights with Lisa, than to share space with Debbie and her implied demands on his time like earlier.
“So, how was the flight?”
“Long. I had some weird dreams.”
“Sorry.”
They both drank from their glasses. It had been so long since they had shared a room without falling back on bickering, they both seemed to have to dig deep to re-learn what used to be second nature: the art of simply being with each other. Strange, how this awkwardness had been absent in their recent phone conversations. Maybe, both considered physical contact much more threatening.
“So, how…how did it go?” Lisa asked the question without looking at him.
Emotions from hours earlier came rushing back and he closed his eyes again to prevent any more useless tears. No crying over spilled milk, right? Same thing was surely true about taken vows.
“Horribly.”
“You went through with it, though, right?” Was there hope that he had copped out in her voice? She obviously thought he had bigger balls than he did.
“I had no choice.” His eyes met hers and he saw the hope leave like a ghostly presence.
“We always have choices, Michael. Not perfect ones, but choices, nonetheless.”
“Well, it’s done.”
The silence expanded like a third presence in the room, sucking the oxygen out of the already toxic space.
“So, what now?”
Her question surprised him. Indeed, what now?
“I don’t know…make the best of it, I guess.”
She nodded. “Well, that’s all you can do.”
“This is not forever, Lisa, you know that, right? It’s like an arrangement. There is a limit…”
Her eyes were so sad, the emotions drifted from them into his heart and his soul. Instinctively, he reached for her hand, and while he expected her to withdraw, she intertwined her fingers with his.
“And she knows this? I mean, she has you now, Michael. I doubt she wants to let you go.”
“She has my name- and a bundle of cash to go with it. I guess it’s only fair she gets something out of it. I made it more than clear that this is in name only.”
“What is the public version?” Of course she knew there was a public version. She had played this game from birth, after all.
“I married her ‘cause I love her and the baby is the result.”
Silence again. He felt her hand slipping and held on, tightening his grip.
“Lisa, what was I supposed to put out? The truth?”
“No, that would be too unusual. Even for you.”
“Would it kill you to be supportive for two minutes?”
This time the hand was pulled from him. She glanced at her watch.
“I think I made it for ten. You are putting me in such a horrible situation here. And I don’t even think you realize it.”
“Like what? I am asking for your support.”
“Well, maybe, just maybe, I’m not the right person to ask. Has that ever occurred to you?”
“You are my friend- I trust you. I have no one else I trust like this.”
“Yes, you do. You have Ted, and you certainly have Liz. Yet, you dump all this on me: the one person who should not be hearing this.”
“Liz knows some of it. I talked to her earlier. But with you, it’s different. You will tell me as it is. You won’t lie to me.”
“Funny, you say that, ‘cause I seem to remember you accused me of lying to you. And as I recall, you weren’t always too thrilled when I told you the truth. Especially, when you didn’t want to hear it.”
“I said you broke your promise, I never said you lied.”
“Same difference. Michael, what do you want me to tell you? It seems like you need a shoulder to cry on, but I need one, too- and you can’t have two needy people in this game. I try to let listen to you, but here you are, so full of pain and regret, but I can’t feel sorry for you ‘cause you did this. You chose to take this route. You ploughed ahead with this crazy stubbornness of yours. Now you are hurt and you feel unloved. Well, how do you think I felt when you told me you made a baby with her? Did you stop for one second to think how this would just tear my world apart? It broke my heart, Michael. You ripped out my heart, tore it to little pieces, and flung them into the wind…that’s what I felt like.”
The tears seeping from her eyes were acid to his soul.
“Lisa, I had to do it. It was my chance. I couldn’t tempt fate and throw this chance away.”
“So, you threw us away instead?”
He reached over and took her shoulders in his tight grip.
“I never threw us away. You gave up. You told me to take Debbie up on the offer and then you stormed out and filed for divorce.”
Lisa shrugged his hands off and got up from the couch.
“I’m not having this conversation again. Michael, give me the key to my room.”
He stared up at her.
“Your room? What room?”
“Are you kidding? You did book a room for me, right? You didn’t think I would stay here with you, did you?”
Well, of course he had thought she was going to stay here with him.
“No, …well... This is a huge suite, and you can sleep in one of the other bedrooms. So, I did not get you your own room per se, but…”
“Priceless. You are just priceless.” She reached for the phone, and he jumped over and put his hand on hers, causing the receiver to drop.
“Michael, stop this shit. I am calling downstairs to get a room.”
“No, you’re not. Give me the phone, I’ll call.”
“What? Are you afraid they will know you have a woman up here?”
“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.”
“You are such a fucking liar. Now, make the call so I can get the hell away from you.”
“You can get the hell away any time you want to- there is the door.”
“Thanks for reminding me. I must have totally lost my mind to listen to your selfish ass and come all this way to be there for me. Fuck you- and have a nice life.”
She stalked over to where she had dropped her purse and headed for the door. Who they hell did she think she was? Fine, let her leave, he did not need her. He was just peachy all by himself. Be there for him? She did not know the meaning of being there for another person.
“Funny, you say that, ‘cause I seem to remember you accused me of lying to you. And as I recall, you weren’t always too thrilled when I told you the truth. Especially, when you didn’t want to hear it.”
“I said you broke your promise, I never said you lied.”
“Same difference. Michael, what do you want me to tell you? It seems like you need a shoulder to cry on, but I need one, too- and you can’t have two needy people in this game. I try to let listen to you, but here you are, so full of pain and regret, but I can’t feel sorry for you ‘cause you did this. You chose to take this route. You ploughed ahead with this crazy stubbornness of yours. Now you are hurt and you feel unloved. Well, how do you think I felt when you told me you made a baby with her? Did you stop for one second to think how this would just tear my world apart? It broke my heart, Michael. You ripped out my heart, tore it to little pieces, and flung them into the wind…that’s what I felt like.”
The tears seeping from her eyes were acid to his soul.
“Lisa, I had to do it. It was my chance. I couldn’t tempt fate and throw this chance away.”
“So, you threw us away instead?”
He reached over and took her shoulders in his tight grip.
“I never threw us away. You gave up. You told me to take Debbie up on the offer and then you stormed out and filed for divorce.”
Lisa shrugged his hands off and got up from the couch.
“I’m not having this conversation again. Michael, give me the key to my room.”
He stared up at her.
“Your room? What room?”
“Are you kidding? You did book a room for me, right? You didn’t think I would stay here with you, did you?”
Well, of course he had thought she was going to stay here with him.
“No, …well... This is a huge suite, and you can sleep in one of the other bedrooms. So, I did not get you your own room per se, but…”
“Priceless. You are just priceless.” She reached for the phone, and he jumped over and put his hand on hers, causing the receiver to drop.
“Michael, stop this shit. I am calling downstairs to get a room.”
“No, you’re not. Give me the phone, I’ll call.”
“What? Are you afraid they will know you have a woman up here?”
“I don’t give a damn what anyone thinks.”
“You are such a fucking liar. Now, make the call so I can get the hell away from you.”
“You can get the hell away any time you want to- there is the door.”
“Thanks for reminding me. I must have totally lost my mind to listen to your selfish ass and come all this way to be there for me. Fuck you- and have a nice life.”
She stalked over to where she had dropped her purse and headed for the door. Who they hell did she think she was? Fine, let her leave, he did not need her. He was just peachy all by himself. Be there for him? She did not know the meaning of being there for another person.
Some evil spirit must have overtaken him, as he realized he had run after her, beating her to the door, slammed it shut, and grabbed her by her arm all in the short span of a couple of seconds. Her back was against the door, and she stared up at him angrily.
“Get the fuck away from me ‘I’m leaving. We are so done here.”
“I’m not done with you, Lisa. I haven’t started to be done with you. You said you came to be here for me? Then, for heaven’s sake, why don’t you just shut up and be there for me?”
Her chest was heaving, granting him an enticing view of her black bra peeking out from opening of her blouse. The blue green eyes narrowed and her lips opened to, no doubt, verbally assault him some more. Forces beyond his control made him lower his face toward hers. His eyes focused on her mouth, and yet he forced himself to stop just short of touching her with his lips. Despite her soothing, caressing breath, he was sure she would kick him in his groin and slap him any second now, making her exit. Something shifted between them, and when her hands reached up to him, it was not to push him away as he had feared. Instead, she grabbed his shirt and forcefully pulled him closer into her body as her lips crashed into his at the same time, stunning him, drowning him under a tidal wave of emotions.
5
Her head was buzzing. One minute, they had been arguing, falling back seamlessly into the old tit-for-tat patterns, the scripts obviously still very much alive in their well-trained brains. Lisa was seriously ready to leave and not look back. All her predictions had come true: he was defensive and on his little martyr trip, feeling sorry for the chain of events he had set into motion. She felt awkward and on edge, both from being tired and exhausted as well as from the seeping awareness in that he was still married—to someone else.
Michael was married. It had all gone so wrong. There was only one way to finish off that particular combination of words, and that was by adding “to Lisa.” It was the only conceivable way this sentence could end; anything else was an abomination. Gone were her attempts to fool herself into thinking that maybe it would not matter since he had told her he didn’t love Debbie. On some level, that justification made it worse. Maybe she could have accepted the move if he had told her he was in undying love with the woman who had been after him for years. She might have laughed, but hey, he was eccentric. What had happened to Michael and his high principles? Was this her doing? Had she changed him to this seemingly cold and calculating person who married a woman he did not love in some kind of sick deal involving a living, breathing child? The torturous question of what would have happened had their baby survived lingered there in the darkness as well.
So, no, there was no way on earth she could remain in this toxic environment any longer. The certainty with which he just assumed that she was going to stay in his suite had been the last straw. She was not some consolation prize to help him feel better. Neither was she in any mood to be a body double for the blushing bride. So even if all her nightmares were to come true and she started to resemble Mrs. Jackson, this was not what she had come here for.
No, Lisa, you little innocent, you had no idea you might end up making out with Michael. After all, you guys have such a successful history of being ‘just friends.’
Well, no, but she had really thought they could do it. She wanted to help him, and he had sounded so wounded, so sad. Really, was there anyone he could trust to not take advantage of him? Was her desire to be supportive not enough? How dare he assume friendly care included a sleepover? So, no, she had every intention to put an ocean or two between them once again.
All this did not explain why she clung to Michael now like he was her lifeboat. If she had thought the room to be poisonous, she certainly did her best to inhale his life giving force now: mouth to mouth resuscitation at its finest. His tongue stroked the sensitive plane of her own before he went back to circling it, then sucking gently. The moan escaping her sounded foreign and yet eerily familiar. Michael reciprocated with his own erotic sound, intensifying the sparkling arousal coursing through her like a crazy silver bullet in a pin-ball machine, setting off lights and bells. Her hands were still tangled in his soft curls, and she realized his hand had followed suit and fisted in her hair, applying pressure. Following the painful, yet pleasurable pull, her head fell away from his mouth as she sucked in the air she had forgotten she needed. Her eyes opened for a second and she met his intense, scorching gaze, before he pulled back stronger, and she offered her neck to him without further thought.
Michael’s hot breath was on her skin, and she both feared and longed for the touch of his lips on the sensitive hollow of her neck. When it came, she groaned out loudly again. His tongue darted out and he licked her throat, feeling the vibration as she was unable to contain another low sound that was a mixture of a purr and a sigh.
“That’s right, baby-girl. Purr for me. You make such wonderful sounds for me. God, how I missed them. How I missed you…missed this…your taste…your smell…” He became too busy kissing the hollow of her neck to be able to talk more, and she was not sure she was able to hear or comprehend him anyway. The thundering torrent of rushing blood was too loud in her ears. Sweetness spread through her as moist heat flooded through her like molten lava, finding an outlet in the pulsing core between her legs.
In long battles, she had willed her body and her mind to repress memories of what he always had been able to do to her. Being close to him again, having him kiss her, hold her, inhaling his unique, intoxicating scent were all-powerful explosives bursting damaging holes into the dam of her defenses.After all, the fights were not the only element of their relationship forever emblazed into her mind and her muscle memory. The almost scripted combats were only one sibling in the divine set of twins consisting of catastrophic battles and intense, crazy love making.
No, Lisa, sex, not love. This is not about love, remember that…
It was essential to her sanity to repeat the mantra that this was about having been apart too long and needing a man. Nothing more, nothing more at all.
Lisa tried her best to ignore the part of her still-functioning mind telling her that she was only lying to herself if she believed any man would do. No, there was no one like him. No one could make her lose her voice, lose her mind, and lose part of her soul as it left her body and took flight, uniting with his.
At some point, her hand must have left his hair, and she caught herself tugging the shirt from his pants, ripping it open, sending buttons flying in her impatience. Michael caught her hands and let out a sarcastic laughter.
“Hey, you’re messing up the shirt.”
“I’ll get you a new one.” She grinned up at him.
“I guess you’ve decided to stay? As if I would let you leave anyway."
To emphasize his point, he brought both hands above her head, holding the tiny wrists easily with one big hand. His other hand traced a finger from her cheek, down her neck, to the open V of her blouse. The light touch sent goose bumps over her chest, causing her nipples to tighten in response as they became further stimulated by the suddenly abrasive lacy material of her bra.
“Fuck you!” Lisa’s hiss sounded like a caress, causing Michael’s eyes to find hers. The molten darkness reflected the cocky smile spreading over his features.
“Getting, there, baby….be patient… I know you missed me and all, so I want to make sure you remember what we had…what we still can have.”
Finding the top button, he slowly opened her top, exposing the heated skin, causing a small quiver to race through her.
“Michael…” His name sounded like a plea on her lips. Really, she did not want to give him a premature sense of a quick and easy win, but control over simple things like her tone of voice was a thing of the past right at this moment. And he knew it. He read her perfectly. Not that it took a rocket scientist to decipher her current state of arousal. She adored and hated this cocky, confident part of him.
“Yeah…I’m here, right here.”
To ensure she was not confused about his current exact location, his tongue followed the path his fingers had scouted before, making a torturous slow track to her aching breasts. When he reached the soft mounds, he lifted one up to his mouth, kissing and nipping the swell of skin, tracing the lace, his finger reaching out, teasing the puckered nipple trough the material. Lisa sighed as she arched her chest toward the heat his mouth offered her. Michael had stepped closer into her, using one knee to spread her legs, letting his thigh make contact with the increasingly swollen heat at the juncture of her legs. She became aware of the bulge in his jeans pressed into her leaving no doubt that he was as turned on as she was. Relief coursed through her when she realized she continued to hold some power of her own.
Michael used his fingers to reveal her rigid rosy peak to his hungry mouth, and his lips closed over her, biting her sensitive skin before sucking it deep into the scorching wet cave. His tongue surrounded the puckered tip, strumming it, teasing it, flattening it against the roof of his mouth. Lisa was no longer able to contain the small sounds that had transformed into little screams intermixed with moans. Her head rolled helplessly between the arms he continued to secure above her. While Michael was seemingly busy with her breast, his fingers multitasked and he opened her jeans, letting his long digits dip into her panties, feeling the soft curls, before dipping deeper toward the increasing wet, pulsing center of her desire.
“Shit, Lise, you are so hot already, so ready. Let me make you feel good. Say you’ll stay here.”
Had he said something? All she could focus on was that his wonderful, strong digits were fractions of an inch away from where she needed him most. Michael’s mouth returned to work and he started to kiss and tease the other breast, before freeing that nipple and sucking on it, causing painful pleasure to sweep over Lisa with maddening force.
“Lisa…”
“Hm…” Why was he talking so much? He really needed to let his fingers continue what they were doing and touch her already before she went up in flames.
“Will you stay?”
He stilled all movement and when she was able to focus her eyes, she noticed them burning into her. Stay where? Why would she go anywhere? What was he talking about?
Crap! Understanding filtered in. Her eyes lowered, taking in her disheveled state. Her shirt was open, her bra on, but both breasts pulled from their cups, nipples wet and swollen. Her pants were open, one of Michael’s hands still holding her in place, the other half hidden by the black lace between her legs. Michael was leaning into her, one leg braced against the door, one between her legs, his shirt ripped open, and a huge bulge jutting out at her. Lisa licked her lips subconsciously, as she remembered what was hidden behind the material of his pants. It would be hers if she played it right. He would be filling her, finally making her whole again.
Well, no, but she had really thought they could do it. She wanted to help him, and he had sounded so wounded, so sad. Really, was there anyone he could trust to not take advantage of him? Was her desire to be supportive not enough? How dare he assume friendly care included a sleepover? So, no, she had every intention to put an ocean or two between them once again.
All this did not explain why she clung to Michael now like he was her lifeboat. If she had thought the room to be poisonous, she certainly did her best to inhale his life giving force now: mouth to mouth resuscitation at its finest. His tongue stroked the sensitive plane of her own before he went back to circling it, then sucking gently. The moan escaping her sounded foreign and yet eerily familiar. Michael reciprocated with his own erotic sound, intensifying the sparkling arousal coursing through her like a crazy silver bullet in a pin-ball machine, setting off lights and bells. Her hands were still tangled in his soft curls, and she realized his hand had followed suit and fisted in her hair, applying pressure. Following the painful, yet pleasurable pull, her head fell away from his mouth as she sucked in the air she had forgotten she needed. Her eyes opened for a second and she met his intense, scorching gaze, before he pulled back stronger, and she offered her neck to him without further thought.
Michael’s hot breath was on her skin, and she both feared and longed for the touch of his lips on the sensitive hollow of her neck. When it came, she groaned out loudly again. His tongue darted out and he licked her throat, feeling the vibration as she was unable to contain another low sound that was a mixture of a purr and a sigh.
“That’s right, baby-girl. Purr for me. You make such wonderful sounds for me. God, how I missed them. How I missed you…missed this…your taste…your smell…” He became too busy kissing the hollow of her neck to be able to talk more, and she was not sure she was able to hear or comprehend him anyway. The thundering torrent of rushing blood was too loud in her ears. Sweetness spread through her as moist heat flooded through her like molten lava, finding an outlet in the pulsing core between her legs.
In long battles, she had willed her body and her mind to repress memories of what he always had been able to do to her. Being close to him again, having him kiss her, hold her, inhaling his unique, intoxicating scent were all-powerful explosives bursting damaging holes into the dam of her defenses.After all, the fights were not the only element of their relationship forever emblazed into her mind and her muscle memory. The almost scripted combats were only one sibling in the divine set of twins consisting of catastrophic battles and intense, crazy love making.
No, Lisa, sex, not love. This is not about love, remember that…
It was essential to her sanity to repeat the mantra that this was about having been apart too long and needing a man. Nothing more, nothing more at all.
Lisa tried her best to ignore the part of her still-functioning mind telling her that she was only lying to herself if she believed any man would do. No, there was no one like him. No one could make her lose her voice, lose her mind, and lose part of her soul as it left her body and took flight, uniting with his.
At some point, her hand must have left his hair, and she caught herself tugging the shirt from his pants, ripping it open, sending buttons flying in her impatience. Michael caught her hands and let out a sarcastic laughter.
“Hey, you’re messing up the shirt.”
“I’ll get you a new one.” She grinned up at him.
“I guess you’ve decided to stay? As if I would let you leave anyway."
To emphasize his point, he brought both hands above her head, holding the tiny wrists easily with one big hand. His other hand traced a finger from her cheek, down her neck, to the open V of her blouse. The light touch sent goose bumps over her chest, causing her nipples to tighten in response as they became further stimulated by the suddenly abrasive lacy material of her bra.
“Fuck you!” Lisa’s hiss sounded like a caress, causing Michael’s eyes to find hers. The molten darkness reflected the cocky smile spreading over his features.
“Getting, there, baby….be patient… I know you missed me and all, so I want to make sure you remember what we had…what we still can have.”
Finding the top button, he slowly opened her top, exposing the heated skin, causing a small quiver to race through her.
“Michael…” His name sounded like a plea on her lips. Really, she did not want to give him a premature sense of a quick and easy win, but control over simple things like her tone of voice was a thing of the past right at this moment. And he knew it. He read her perfectly. Not that it took a rocket scientist to decipher her current state of arousal. She adored and hated this cocky, confident part of him.
“Yeah…I’m here, right here.”
To ensure she was not confused about his current exact location, his tongue followed the path his fingers had scouted before, making a torturous slow track to her aching breasts. When he reached the soft mounds, he lifted one up to his mouth, kissing and nipping the swell of skin, tracing the lace, his finger reaching out, teasing the puckered nipple trough the material. Lisa sighed as she arched her chest toward the heat his mouth offered her. Michael had stepped closer into her, using one knee to spread her legs, letting his thigh make contact with the increasingly swollen heat at the juncture of her legs. She became aware of the bulge in his jeans pressed into her leaving no doubt that he was as turned on as she was. Relief coursed through her when she realized she continued to hold some power of her own.
Michael used his fingers to reveal her rigid rosy peak to his hungry mouth, and his lips closed over her, biting her sensitive skin before sucking it deep into the scorching wet cave. His tongue surrounded the puckered tip, strumming it, teasing it, flattening it against the roof of his mouth. Lisa was no longer able to contain the small sounds that had transformed into little screams intermixed with moans. Her head rolled helplessly between the arms he continued to secure above her. While Michael was seemingly busy with her breast, his fingers multitasked and he opened her jeans, letting his long digits dip into her panties, feeling the soft curls, before dipping deeper toward the increasing wet, pulsing center of her desire.
“Shit, Lise, you are so hot already, so ready. Let me make you feel good. Say you’ll stay here.”
Had he said something? All she could focus on was that his wonderful, strong digits were fractions of an inch away from where she needed him most. Michael’s mouth returned to work and he started to kiss and tease the other breast, before freeing that nipple and sucking on it, causing painful pleasure to sweep over Lisa with maddening force.
“Lisa…”
“Hm…” Why was he talking so much? He really needed to let his fingers continue what they were doing and touch her already before she went up in flames.
“Will you stay?”
He stilled all movement and when she was able to focus her eyes, she noticed them burning into her. Stay where? Why would she go anywhere? What was he talking about?
Crap! Understanding filtered in. Her eyes lowered, taking in her disheveled state. Her shirt was open, her bra on, but both breasts pulled from their cups, nipples wet and swollen. Her pants were open, one of Michael’s hands still holding her in place, the other half hidden by the black lace between her legs. Michael was leaning into her, one leg braced against the door, one between her legs, his shirt ripped open, and a huge bulge jutting out at her. Lisa licked her lips subconsciously, as she remembered what was hidden behind the material of his pants. It would be hers if she played it right. He would be filling her, finally making her whole again.
Decision time. She could tell him she would not stay and resume her plan to hightail away from this dangerous continent where snakes, alligators, spiders, sharks, and dingos were the least of her worries. Or, she could stop being a coward and jump into the fire finding out for sure if it was the gate to destruction or rebirth.
“Get the fuck off me, Michael.”
Coward it was, then.
His eyes narrowed and he stilled, keeping his body in place.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Oh, no? You want to find out and have me crush your balls with my knees? If you wanna continue making babies, you better back off.”
The dark eyes narrowed. “What the hell, Lisa? Don’t act like you don’t want me to be right here. Why don’t you stop the games and be honest for a change.”
Because being honest carried the intense risk of being eviscerated by the rejection that was sure to follow her surrender.
“I am honest. I did not come here to be fucked. Not literally, anyway. I let you mess with my head enough, which is why I flew out here. I believed your lies. But now, I am asking you to not force this.”
He stepped away from her, relinquishing the hold on her wrists so suddenly she would have stumbled had not been the door behind her to prop her up. The expression in his eyes sliced into her soul. He looked wounded, betrayed, misjudged.
No, Lisa, hold strong, hurt him so he does not hurt you. You know the drill, keep going.
“Force this? Force you? Have you lost your mind? I never had to force anyone to do this…to be like this with me. You know that is the truth. You, of all people, you know I would never, in a million years take advantage of someone sexually.”
“Oh really, Michael? How would I know this?” She rubbed her wrists, not so much from pain, but from the intense loss of the warmth on her skin. He would never know the difference, though. Let him think he hurt her. It might just give her enough time to compose herself again.
His gaze did sweep from her eyes to her wrists, then back to her eyes, which she stubbornly kept averted. Turning, his hand flew up to his eyes, he massaged his forehead, as he walked away from her and started pacing.
“Yeah, walk away from the truth, Michael. You know full well, you used sex over and over to get me to shut up, to make me turn a blind eye, and to distract me. You always rant and rave about women using sex to get what they want. How about you? You have such a high opinion of yourself, and your motives. Well, you…” She stepped up closer to him as he continued to stand with his back to her, his head low, his hand over his eyes. “You are a master of using your body to get what you want--with me, and now, with Debbie.”
He turned back to her, and she tried to be immune to the shimmer of tears she thought she detected.
“Debbie? Have you lost your mind? I told you…”
“Oh, bullshit! You told me you did not screw her. Big fucking deal! But I’m sure you left her with enough innuendos, soulful gazes, and hints of a future to sway her to sign whatever you put in front of her.”
“Now you think I took advantage of Debbie? I think you take your low opinion of yourself and jump to the conclusions that everyone will play games like you so love to do. But no, Lisa. She offered, and I accepted. Things got out of hand, I admitted that, but I never offered myself up like some prize. That is more your style. I may have learned a lot from you, but I choose not to whore myself out.” He walked away from her and reached for the phone, ignoring her stunned expression.
“Carlos. Miss Presley is ready to leave and needs a room. I want you to see if you can find her any suite across town. I prefer if she did not stay here. No, dinner has not gotten here yet- and you can cancel it, as a matter of fact. Yes, I am sure. Thank you.”
Well, she had been successful, finally. She got what she wanted. He was ready to let her go. Only, what the hell was he talking about? How had she whored herself out? And who did he think he was, banishing her across town? If she wanted to stay here, she damn well would. His days of ordering her around were over.
Michael sat down and once again, rested his head in his hands, hiding from her. How could he change so quickly from attack mode to looking tired and defeated?
“Michael, we are not done here. I am not ready to leave. You can’t just say what you did and then order me out. What they hell do you mean, I whored myself out? How dare you say that to me? Fucking look at me, when I’m talking to you!” Anger started to wash over her once again, and she was not sure how much longer she would be able to cope with this constant shift in emotional climate before she would shatter like hot glass dipped into ice water.
Because being honest carried the intense risk of being eviscerated by the rejection that was sure to follow her surrender.
“I am honest. I did not come here to be fucked. Not literally, anyway. I let you mess with my head enough, which is why I flew out here. I believed your lies. But now, I am asking you to not force this.”
He stepped away from her, relinquishing the hold on her wrists so suddenly she would have stumbled had not been the door behind her to prop her up. The expression in his eyes sliced into her soul. He looked wounded, betrayed, misjudged.
No, Lisa, hold strong, hurt him so he does not hurt you. You know the drill, keep going.
“Force this? Force you? Have you lost your mind? I never had to force anyone to do this…to be like this with me. You know that is the truth. You, of all people, you know I would never, in a million years take advantage of someone sexually.”
“Oh really, Michael? How would I know this?” She rubbed her wrists, not so much from pain, but from the intense loss of the warmth on her skin. He would never know the difference, though. Let him think he hurt her. It might just give her enough time to compose herself again.
His gaze did sweep from her eyes to her wrists, then back to her eyes, which she stubbornly kept averted. Turning, his hand flew up to his eyes, he massaged his forehead, as he walked away from her and started pacing.
“Yeah, walk away from the truth, Michael. You know full well, you used sex over and over to get me to shut up, to make me turn a blind eye, and to distract me. You always rant and rave about women using sex to get what they want. How about you? You have such a high opinion of yourself, and your motives. Well, you…” She stepped up closer to him as he continued to stand with his back to her, his head low, his hand over his eyes. “You are a master of using your body to get what you want--with me, and now, with Debbie.”
He turned back to her, and she tried to be immune to the shimmer of tears she thought she detected.
“Debbie? Have you lost your mind? I told you…”
“Oh, bullshit! You told me you did not screw her. Big fucking deal! But I’m sure you left her with enough innuendos, soulful gazes, and hints of a future to sway her to sign whatever you put in front of her.”
“Now you think I took advantage of Debbie? I think you take your low opinion of yourself and jump to the conclusions that everyone will play games like you so love to do. But no, Lisa. She offered, and I accepted. Things got out of hand, I admitted that, but I never offered myself up like some prize. That is more your style. I may have learned a lot from you, but I choose not to whore myself out.” He walked away from her and reached for the phone, ignoring her stunned expression.
“Carlos. Miss Presley is ready to leave and needs a room. I want you to see if you can find her any suite across town. I prefer if she did not stay here. No, dinner has not gotten here yet- and you can cancel it, as a matter of fact. Yes, I am sure. Thank you.”
Well, she had been successful, finally. She got what she wanted. He was ready to let her go. Only, what the hell was he talking about? How had she whored herself out? And who did he think he was, banishing her across town? If she wanted to stay here, she damn well would. His days of ordering her around were over.
Michael sat down and once again, rested his head in his hands, hiding from her. How could he change so quickly from attack mode to looking tired and defeated?
“Michael, we are not done here. I am not ready to leave. You can’t just say what you did and then order me out. What they hell do you mean, I whored myself out? How dare you say that to me? Fucking look at me, when I’m talking to you!” Anger started to wash over her once again, and she was not sure how much longer she would be able to cope with this constant shift in emotional climate before she would shatter like hot glass dipped into ice water.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry for what I said. I got angry.” The voice was lifeless and flat. It scared her more than any angry yells could ever have managed.
“No, you don’t say anything you don’t mean. You think things to death before you let them spill. How have I used my body? You might as well continue now.”
“Danny, ok?” He raked his hands through his hair and looked up at her. “You used the attraction you knew Danny still felt for you when you decided to punish me. You took off with him. I wanted to be there for you to help you deal with the loss of our baby. So we could deal with it together. You know, like normal parents who lost a child. But no, you had to do it your way. You talk about me shutting you out, when you locked yourself away when it mattered the most. When we needed each other the most. And you used yourself to get him to go with you. And I don’t even want to know what else you did to get over your supposed pain.”
Her supposed pain? How low could he hit?
“Don’t you dare bring our baby into this. I told you I didn’t want you to talk about him ever again. You know nothing of my pain, Michael. And you don’t have a clue about what is going on with Danny and me. Real friendship is as foreign to you as air to a fish. Danny has nothing to do with what happened to us.” Tears started to spill from her eyes and she was sure they were tears of rage, as they could not possibly have been proof of her depthless, never-ending grief. He was right, though, it had been easier to be around Danny, who was safe to her emotional fortress than to face him, his deep sense of loss, his desperation, and his love. Danny also distracted her from her own feelings of guilt over having let Michael down, over not having been able to give him what he had desired the most in this world.
“You’re right. What happened to us had to do with you running away. It’s your specialty. So, go, leave. There’s the door. I am sorry, I made the mistake to think we could work this out. I am sorry, I never got over you, and I realized that I will never love anyone like I love you. I’m sorry the thought of being married to someone else was so unbearable to me that I could not think of any other way to deal with it than by having the only woman I ever wanted to be married to with me. I am sorry that I want to hold you and make love to you and forget for one frigging moment that I can’t be with you. You have no fucking idea how sorry I am about all of this, Lisa-Marie!”
Lisa swallowed hard. She was not sure what she had expected, but those words had not even been in the realm of what she had imagined. Her now icy cold hands clasped her shirt together as she started to tremble. She reached for her jacket and her purse, then turned toward the door that had minutes earlier been her backbone when she had melted against it, weak from the sensual tsunami unleashed on her. She stared at it through a rising curtain of tears.
Come on, stupid, there it is. Run for the hills. Or the outback…whatever.
The attempt to move was thwarted by her inability to move toward the door and what it represented: freedom and loss. Sanity and destruction.
“I can’t go.” At first she assumed she had only thought the words. Then she realized her voice had whispered the truth straight from her heart.
Turned away from him, she breathlessly waited for the response that did not come. What? Did he want her surrender in writing?
“Michael, did you hear me?”
“Did you forget something?”
Stubborn fucker!
“I said I can’t leave. And you heard me.” Tilting her head a bit, she could see him studying her, his gaze suspicious. She knew the look; he was trying to get a read on her to prevent any surprise attacks. The look often precipitated the icy masked that could slide into place before he turned into an indestructible iceberg.
“I was not sure I heard you correctly.”
How could she love someone so totally exasperating with such intensity?
No, you don’t love him. You just want him, yeah, that’s all. You need a fix of that drug you crave.
“I said, I’m not leaving.”
Slowly, she turned toward him, dropping her jacket and her purse once again. He was not going to make this easy. His lips formed the word, and she did not need to hear his voice to know he asked her why. If only she knew.
She shrugged her shoulders, the palms of her hands turning toward him in a gesture of surrender.
“Why? Fuck, if I know. I just can’t.” Stubbornly, she blinked away the tears.
Michael tilted his head to the side, seemingly weighing her answer. He started to chew on his lip in the way he used to do when he helped Riley solve a really difficult math problem.
Part of her wanted him to make the next move, but she realized that he had revealed so much more of himself than she was used to seeing already. If she kept pushing, he would freeze up and relieve her of having to chose. He would make her leave, and he would more than likely not give her another opening. She walked over to the couch. He had been sitting with his legs open, his elbows leaning on his knees, his chin resting in the palms of his hands. The dark, magnetic eyes followed her ever y movement as she sank to her knees and surrounded his hands with her smaller fingers.
“I don’t care if I regret this in the morning, but I can’t leave you. Not like this. Not ever again.”
“A minute ago you…”
“Will you shut up?” A hesitant smile appeared like a peace offering.
“Bossy broad.” His own smile reciprocated and spread from his eyes to his mouth: the sunrise after the torturous depth of night.
“Kiss me.” The need to feel him became overwhelming.
“Please.” His head dipped slightly lower, waiting for her to surrender completely.
“Now.” Her lips were offered to him, ready for the taking. Take that for surrender…
“No: Please Michael, may I kiss you after having been such an incorrigible…”
His mouth was a breath away from touching her again.
“Michael, you may kiss me despite almost throwing me out after making me fly for 12 hours.”
The light butterfly kisses he bestowed on her were not enough to satisfy what she was after.
“Michael!”
The soft lips landed on her chin, her nose, then back on her lips, his tongue licking her bottom lip before he increased the space between them once more.
“Yes? I am waiting.”
So was she. She could almost feel his lips engulfing her, his tongue invading her, challenging her, taking, and giving. All she had to do was ask. How hard was it to say those words? Were they really more difficult than facing the threat of not feeling his breath filling her with life again?
“Please, Mike, kiss me…please…” Her voice trailed off.
Her supposed pain? How low could he hit?
“Don’t you dare bring our baby into this. I told you I didn’t want you to talk about him ever again. You know nothing of my pain, Michael. And you don’t have a clue about what is going on with Danny and me. Real friendship is as foreign to you as air to a fish. Danny has nothing to do with what happened to us.” Tears started to spill from her eyes and she was sure they were tears of rage, as they could not possibly have been proof of her depthless, never-ending grief. He was right, though, it had been easier to be around Danny, who was safe to her emotional fortress than to face him, his deep sense of loss, his desperation, and his love. Danny also distracted her from her own feelings of guilt over having let Michael down, over not having been able to give him what he had desired the most in this world.
“You’re right. What happened to us had to do with you running away. It’s your specialty. So, go, leave. There’s the door. I am sorry, I made the mistake to think we could work this out. I am sorry, I never got over you, and I realized that I will never love anyone like I love you. I’m sorry the thought of being married to someone else was so unbearable to me that I could not think of any other way to deal with it than by having the only woman I ever wanted to be married to with me. I am sorry that I want to hold you and make love to you and forget for one frigging moment that I can’t be with you. You have no fucking idea how sorry I am about all of this, Lisa-Marie!”
Lisa swallowed hard. She was not sure what she had expected, but those words had not even been in the realm of what she had imagined. Her now icy cold hands clasped her shirt together as she started to tremble. She reached for her jacket and her purse, then turned toward the door that had minutes earlier been her backbone when she had melted against it, weak from the sensual tsunami unleashed on her. She stared at it through a rising curtain of tears.
Come on, stupid, there it is. Run for the hills. Or the outback…whatever.
The attempt to move was thwarted by her inability to move toward the door and what it represented: freedom and loss. Sanity and destruction.
“I can’t go.” At first she assumed she had only thought the words. Then she realized her voice had whispered the truth straight from her heart.
Turned away from him, she breathlessly waited for the response that did not come. What? Did he want her surrender in writing?
“Michael, did you hear me?”
“Did you forget something?”
Stubborn fucker!
“I said I can’t leave. And you heard me.” Tilting her head a bit, she could see him studying her, his gaze suspicious. She knew the look; he was trying to get a read on her to prevent any surprise attacks. The look often precipitated the icy masked that could slide into place before he turned into an indestructible iceberg.
“I was not sure I heard you correctly.”
How could she love someone so totally exasperating with such intensity?
No, you don’t love him. You just want him, yeah, that’s all. You need a fix of that drug you crave.
“I said, I’m not leaving.”
Slowly, she turned toward him, dropping her jacket and her purse once again. He was not going to make this easy. His lips formed the word, and she did not need to hear his voice to know he asked her why. If only she knew.
She shrugged her shoulders, the palms of her hands turning toward him in a gesture of surrender.
“Why? Fuck, if I know. I just can’t.” Stubbornly, she blinked away the tears.
Michael tilted his head to the side, seemingly weighing her answer. He started to chew on his lip in the way he used to do when he helped Riley solve a really difficult math problem.
Part of her wanted him to make the next move, but she realized that he had revealed so much more of himself than she was used to seeing already. If she kept pushing, he would freeze up and relieve her of having to chose. He would make her leave, and he would more than likely not give her another opening. She walked over to the couch. He had been sitting with his legs open, his elbows leaning on his knees, his chin resting in the palms of his hands. The dark, magnetic eyes followed her ever y movement as she sank to her knees and surrounded his hands with her smaller fingers.
“I don’t care if I regret this in the morning, but I can’t leave you. Not like this. Not ever again.”
“A minute ago you…”
“Will you shut up?” A hesitant smile appeared like a peace offering.
“Bossy broad.” His own smile reciprocated and spread from his eyes to his mouth: the sunrise after the torturous depth of night.
“Kiss me.” The need to feel him became overwhelming.
“Please.” His head dipped slightly lower, waiting for her to surrender completely.
“Now.” Her lips were offered to him, ready for the taking. Take that for surrender…
“No: Please Michael, may I kiss you after having been such an incorrigible…”
His mouth was a breath away from touching her again.
“Michael, you may kiss me despite almost throwing me out after making me fly for 12 hours.”
The light butterfly kisses he bestowed on her were not enough to satisfy what she was after.
“Michael!”
The soft lips landed on her chin, her nose, then back on her lips, his tongue licking her bottom lip before he increased the space between them once more.
“Yes? I am waiting.”
So was she. She could almost feel his lips engulfing her, his tongue invading her, challenging her, taking, and giving. All she had to do was ask. How hard was it to say those words? Were they really more difficult than facing the threat of not feeling his breath filling her with life again?
“Please, Mike, kiss me…please…” Her voice trailed off.
The whispered sigh was rewarded with a cocked eyebrow, a smile, and then, finally, his lips on her as he placed an open mouthed kiss on her, slanting his mouth first one way, then another. Impatient she opened under him, her tongue no longer content to be alone as she became the aggressor, dipping between his lips, searching for its partner, finally starting the seductive tango. He engaged fully, pressing his lips to her with increasing fervor, as his hands once again cradled her face. Lisa’s hands braced on his muscular thighs just above his knees. Scooting in closer, she intensified the kiss, responding to his moans with sighs of her own, reveling in the sparkling electricity lighting and fueling her insides once again. The feeling of Michael’s legs under her caress further powered her drive toward the rapture she knew lay just around the corner. Michael shifted and leaned back, pulling her into his lap. Lisa adjusted herself, gyrating against the bulge that called out to her own needy core. The pressure was like heaven and she whimpered when Michael responded by bucking up against her more, causing more shivers to dissipate from her center to every cell.
“Feel this, baby? Feel what you do to me? You can’t tell me, you did not miss that. You make me so hard it hurts.”
His head fell back and Lisa took the chance to let her tongue dance along the sinewy beauty of his long, muscular neck.
“I have a way to ease the pain, Michael,” she assured him, as her hands finished pulling his shirt off this time, then dipped below his ever present t-shirt, enjoying the warmth and solid strength of his abs and his chest, and travelling back south after drawing the shirt from his pants. She found the fly and managed to open the button then pulled down the zipper. Slightly lifting herself as his hip also elevated, she relieved him of his pesty pants. Michael managed to get them off in record time, while Lisa raised his t-shirt, and he cooperatively lifted his arms, letting her undress him further. She backed up slightly and stared at his beautiful body, focusing on the tightening peaks of his nipples, now exposed to cool air and her hot eyes. Her hands reached for his shoulders and travelled over his chest and his abs. As she leaned forward, her tongue darted out to taste the tiny morsel that now resembled a miniature piece of candy. Her fingers caressed the edge of his boxers, wondering when he had traded his briefs. Not that she minded at all, boxers were so much easier to get rid of, after all.
Michael was not lazy and helped her out her shirt while she tortured, licked, and bit his nipples. She felt him shivering and jerking under her, felt his penis jumping towards her even more, heard his small sexy cries that edged her on. As she started to breach the silky underwear, he used her distraction to unclasp her bra and finally pull it off her, his large hands surrounding and massaging each breast, letting her own diamond hard tip roll in his palm. One hand braced right on his lower abs, the other ever so deliberately dipped lower, finding the amazing beast waiting to be freed. It had been so long that she felt his silky steel, and yet she knew her hands had never forgotten the sensation. Her shaking fingers surrounded him, feeling him pulse under her grip, moving up and down his length ever so slowly as she raised her head from his chest, her eyes finding his, watching his reaction to her administration. A shot of heady power and excitement went through her, pinging off every nerve ending before sending more fluid moisture to the place that envied her fingers for getting to feel him already. Her free hand pulled his boxers off in one movement as Michael once again lifted off the couch.
“God, Lise, you feel so good...there you go baby, hold it, it’s all yours.”
“Michael…” Her eyes once again dipped to watch his penis in her hands, as she continued to stimulate him, being rewarded by the glistening pearl of precum appearing on the revealed glans. She licked her lips and he pulled her close again, his lips caressing and torturing her, his tongue establishing dominance.
Realizing she wore entirely too many clothes compared to the naked god beneath her, she raised herself and gazed down at him. He had never looked more gorgeous. Lisa’s hands found her breasts that had been bereft of his touch. Knowing her small hands were but a consolation prize, she lifted her breasts, tweaking the nipples, then let her fingers trail down her belly toward the open fly of her jeans. Michael followed her every move, and she felt another hit of pleasurable spasms when he used his hands to pick up the job her own fingers had abandoned just moments ago. Stroking himself, he kept his eyes fixed on the teasing digits on her hot skin.
“Go head, Lise. You are definitely overdressed for the occasion.”
“Hm…I don’t know. I am so shy. I don’t know if I can trust you enough to take my pants off.”
He laughed when she said ‘shy’, but the smile froze on his face when she dipped into the waistband of her jeans, pulling them down slightly, before using one hand to soothe the throbbing burning emanating from the hot pool between her legs. Her head fell back when she made contact with the swollen flesh and let her fingers slide over the nubbin.
“What’s it feel like, Lise?”
“Hot, wet, ready for …you…so ready.” Her eyes found his intense gaze and she noticed that his penis seemed to have grown some more under his touch, which was quite a feat, given the size of his hand.
“Put a finger in, Lise. Show me.”
She did as commanded and let her moan announce when she found the slick passage. Keeping the connection to his dark fires directed at her, she noticed that he swallowed hard. One hand dragged the jeans over her hips, as she gyrated her hips, using the movement to both propel her higher and allow her to wiggle out of the pants. Lisa let a second, then a third finger join in on the fun as she used the now free hand to again play with her breasts.
“Girl, you gonna make me cum just from watching you. You have no idea what you do to me…” His voice was deep and sensual, strumming her internal chords.
“You like that?” Smiling, she walked up closer to him again. Ever so gradually, she pulled her lacy panties off, before lowering herself with deliberate control into a crouching position before him.
“You gonna love this, then…” With that, she reached for him and his hand fell away from his turgid member that jutted toward her. Using the hand that had just stirred her own flood, she used the slickness to glide up and down his length as she brought her head closer to his crotch.
Michael reached out and caressed her cheek, then let his hand play with her hair, as he started to pull her toward himself, reading her intentions correctly.
“Fuck yeah, Lisa, take it. Use that mouth for something other than…ah!” His last words were lost as the sob escaped when her lips closed over him, letting him enter the heat of her mouth, closing her eyes as she glided down on the wonderful hard shaft, letting him fill her mouth as her tongue circled around him like a pole dancer. Michael’s hand tightened in her hair and his hips elevated off the couch toward her.
“Holy shit.” His breathing became fast and ragged when she pulled back, using the moisture to let her hands glide up and down several times from the wide base to the sensitive, smooth tip that was revealed by his tender flesh. Pulling back a bit further, she let her tongue trace the pulsing veins, marveling at the beauty and size of him once more.
“Lick me, baby; oh God. You do it so well. Oh shit…” Running her tongue up his full length several times, each time taking care to stimulate the small opening feeding her his essence, she finally let herself take him in once more, applying sucking pressure while she let him hit her throat. His moan caused her to respond with her own guttural reply, knowing full well the result would add to his torture.
“Lisa, touch yourself. Play with that wet pussy. I want to you as close to cumming as you are bringing me.”
For once, Lisa did not mind getting instructions from him. As a matter of fact, he knew full well how his dominance affected her. Small meowing sounds escaped her as she used her fingers to play her feminine instrument, alternately dipping into her honey well and caressing the slick pearl while she continued to devour this man who held her heart.
Racing closer to the edge, Lisa could also feel Michael engorge further, his jerking movement announcing the verge of his control.
“Wanna stop, Lise? ‘Cause I’m about to do it, girl…it’s been too long.”
She responded by holding him tighter into her hand, her lips applying more pressure, her tongue taking care to caress the length of him and tease his tip each time she let him leave her mouth before she took possession again. When she felt she was about to lose her own battle of controlling the tingling and tightening pleasure inside, she let go of his pole, reaching for his testicles, as Michael’s grip on her head set the tempo he needed to race toward the rainbow.
Lisa felt her internal muscles grip her fingers as her juices dripped from her. One more pass of her clitoris, and she shattered into light. Her muffled moans and tightening mouth caused Michael’s testicles to become tighter as his hips started to jerk then go rigid before Lisa welcomed his eruption on her tongue. The hot cum filled and nurtured her, and she tried to control her own movements while drinking him in. Michael’s groans, and her more muffled screams filled the room. They calmed at about the same time, and Lisa eased up on him, now only using small licks to clean him off, knowing he would be overly sensitive after his orgasm. When she finally released him, Michael pulled her up into his lap, clutching her close and she fell against him.
Michael was not lazy and helped her out her shirt while she tortured, licked, and bit his nipples. She felt him shivering and jerking under her, felt his penis jumping towards her even more, heard his small sexy cries that edged her on. As she started to breach the silky underwear, he used her distraction to unclasp her bra and finally pull it off her, his large hands surrounding and massaging each breast, letting her own diamond hard tip roll in his palm. One hand braced right on his lower abs, the other ever so deliberately dipped lower, finding the amazing beast waiting to be freed. It had been so long that she felt his silky steel, and yet she knew her hands had never forgotten the sensation. Her shaking fingers surrounded him, feeling him pulse under her grip, moving up and down his length ever so slowly as she raised her head from his chest, her eyes finding his, watching his reaction to her administration. A shot of heady power and excitement went through her, pinging off every nerve ending before sending more fluid moisture to the place that envied her fingers for getting to feel him already. Her free hand pulled his boxers off in one movement as Michael once again lifted off the couch.
“God, Lise, you feel so good...there you go baby, hold it, it’s all yours.”
“Michael…” Her eyes once again dipped to watch his penis in her hands, as she continued to stimulate him, being rewarded by the glistening pearl of precum appearing on the revealed glans. She licked her lips and he pulled her close again, his lips caressing and torturing her, his tongue establishing dominance.
Realizing she wore entirely too many clothes compared to the naked god beneath her, she raised herself and gazed down at him. He had never looked more gorgeous. Lisa’s hands found her breasts that had been bereft of his touch. Knowing her small hands were but a consolation prize, she lifted her breasts, tweaking the nipples, then let her fingers trail down her belly toward the open fly of her jeans. Michael followed her every move, and she felt another hit of pleasurable spasms when he used his hands to pick up the job her own fingers had abandoned just moments ago. Stroking himself, he kept his eyes fixed on the teasing digits on her hot skin.
“Go head, Lise. You are definitely overdressed for the occasion.”
“Hm…I don’t know. I am so shy. I don’t know if I can trust you enough to take my pants off.”
He laughed when she said ‘shy’, but the smile froze on his face when she dipped into the waistband of her jeans, pulling them down slightly, before using one hand to soothe the throbbing burning emanating from the hot pool between her legs. Her head fell back when she made contact with the swollen flesh and let her fingers slide over the nubbin.
“What’s it feel like, Lise?”
“Hot, wet, ready for …you…so ready.” Her eyes found his intense gaze and she noticed that his penis seemed to have grown some more under his touch, which was quite a feat, given the size of his hand.
“Put a finger in, Lise. Show me.”
She did as commanded and let her moan announce when she found the slick passage. Keeping the connection to his dark fires directed at her, she noticed that he swallowed hard. One hand dragged the jeans over her hips, as she gyrated her hips, using the movement to both propel her higher and allow her to wiggle out of the pants. Lisa let a second, then a third finger join in on the fun as she used the now free hand to again play with her breasts.
“Girl, you gonna make me cum just from watching you. You have no idea what you do to me…” His voice was deep and sensual, strumming her internal chords.
“You like that?” Smiling, she walked up closer to him again. Ever so gradually, she pulled her lacy panties off, before lowering herself with deliberate control into a crouching position before him.
“You gonna love this, then…” With that, she reached for him and his hand fell away from his turgid member that jutted toward her. Using the hand that had just stirred her own flood, she used the slickness to glide up and down his length as she brought her head closer to his crotch.
Michael reached out and caressed her cheek, then let his hand play with her hair, as he started to pull her toward himself, reading her intentions correctly.
“Fuck yeah, Lisa, take it. Use that mouth for something other than…ah!” His last words were lost as the sob escaped when her lips closed over him, letting him enter the heat of her mouth, closing her eyes as she glided down on the wonderful hard shaft, letting him fill her mouth as her tongue circled around him like a pole dancer. Michael’s hand tightened in her hair and his hips elevated off the couch toward her.
“Holy shit.” His breathing became fast and ragged when she pulled back, using the moisture to let her hands glide up and down several times from the wide base to the sensitive, smooth tip that was revealed by his tender flesh. Pulling back a bit further, she let her tongue trace the pulsing veins, marveling at the beauty and size of him once more.
“Lick me, baby; oh God. You do it so well. Oh shit…” Running her tongue up his full length several times, each time taking care to stimulate the small opening feeding her his essence, she finally let herself take him in once more, applying sucking pressure while she let him hit her throat. His moan caused her to respond with her own guttural reply, knowing full well the result would add to his torture.
“Lisa, touch yourself. Play with that wet pussy. I want to you as close to cumming as you are bringing me.”
For once, Lisa did not mind getting instructions from him. As a matter of fact, he knew full well how his dominance affected her. Small meowing sounds escaped her as she used her fingers to play her feminine instrument, alternately dipping into her honey well and caressing the slick pearl while she continued to devour this man who held her heart.
Racing closer to the edge, Lisa could also feel Michael engorge further, his jerking movement announcing the verge of his control.
“Wanna stop, Lise? ‘Cause I’m about to do it, girl…it’s been too long.”
She responded by holding him tighter into her hand, her lips applying more pressure, her tongue taking care to caress the length of him and tease his tip each time she let him leave her mouth before she took possession again. When she felt she was about to lose her own battle of controlling the tingling and tightening pleasure inside, she let go of his pole, reaching for his testicles, as Michael’s grip on her head set the tempo he needed to race toward the rainbow.
Lisa felt her internal muscles grip her fingers as her juices dripped from her. One more pass of her clitoris, and she shattered into light. Her muffled moans and tightening mouth caused Michael’s testicles to become tighter as his hips started to jerk then go rigid before Lisa welcomed his eruption on her tongue. The hot cum filled and nurtured her, and she tried to control her own movements while drinking him in. Michael’s groans, and her more muffled screams filled the room. They calmed at about the same time, and Lisa eased up on him, now only using small licks to clean him off, knowing he would be overly sensitive after his orgasm. When she finally released him, Michael pulled her up into his lap, clutching her close and she fell against him.
After a small moment, while her own spasms calmed and her awareness solely centered on the heat of his body and the sound of his heart beneath her, he reached for the hand that had been a stand in for what she hoped to get later on, and he kissed her fingers, letting his tongue clean her of the evidence of her own eruption.
“You are such a freak, Mike.”
He continued to let his tongue caress her then smiled that dazzling smile of his.
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, baby girl.”
With that, he kissed her, and rose with her still in his lap, picking her up easily. Her legs closed around his hips and he lightly slapped her butt.
“What?” She giggled as he started to stride towards one of the closed doors.
“What, what? I am carrying the woman I love off to my lair, that’s what. You don’t think we are done yet, are you?”
He loved her! Her heart gave a squeeze.
She laughed as she snuggled up close to him. With all the catching up they needed to do, no, they were not done indeed.
“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, baby girl.”
With that, he kissed her, and rose with her still in his lap, picking her up easily. Her legs closed around his hips and he lightly slapped her butt.
“What?” She giggled as he started to stride towards one of the closed doors.
“What, what? I am carrying the woman I love off to my lair, that’s what. You don’t think we are done yet, are you?”
He loved her! Her heart gave a squeeze.
She laughed as she snuggled up close to him. With all the catching up they needed to do, no, they were not done indeed.
6
The distance to the room seemed to increase with every step, every kiss, and every tantalizing touch. Lisa’s size and weight were not a challenge to his overall goal to get her to his bed, but her actions were a different matter altogether. Her legs were tightened around his waist, her arms around his neck, and her hot mouth was also attached to him in constant kisses to his lips, the overly sensitive area just below his ear, and the spot on his neck that seemed to have a direct line to his groin.
Michael realized just how much he had missed their physical connection. He had always prided himself on not being ruled by his sexual needs. Sure, when he was young, he had confused lust and love, but he had learned his lesson at last after a painful stretch of frantically hanging on to a fantasy that was as tangible and real as blue smoke. After that, he once again had recommitted to his values of not engaging in sex for sport. Well, and in principle he had stuck to that. When he had decided against prolonging the torture of resisting wanting to make love to Lisa, he had already proposed to her, had considered himself to be deeply in love, and was convinced that their union was to be eternal. Having thus justified his motives and actions, he had only felt minimal guilt about her theoretically still having been married to someone else. She was his in every way that mattered.
Making love to Lisa had always been overwhelming. She unlocked deep sexual instincts and urges and once they had broken free they became noticeable in every aspect of his life including his music and dancing. No matter how crazy she drove him with her impetuous behaviors at times, no matter how exasperated he was at her constant questioning of his motives, once he got his hands on her, or felt her hands on him, all that mattered was chasing the intense, explosive release that would follow. Back when they were married, of course, it had been perfectly acceptable to let their souls merge in the fires of heaven- only right now he wondered if those flames were not of a different origin altogether.
After the split, his anger and disappointment at her childish, rash action of filing for divorce without giving them a fair chance to work things out had been a convenient aid in convincing himself that he did not need her in any way. He was sure the sexual attraction was gone, was certain he had eradicated all feelings for her, which included erotic attachments. After all, freezing people out was his specialty and he had become really accomplished at turning his back on those he evicted from his world. Well, that all had worked just fine while he was awake and able to distract himself from the subconscious longing burning under the well-controlled surface.
His dreams were a different matter. But so what, if he woke up rock hard after nights of feeling her next to him, her scorching wetness around him, of smelling her scent, of being almost able to taste her? No big deal that he ran up the water bill with countless cold showers, and spent countless hours in the dance studio trying to exorcise the sexual demon inhabiting his mind. Hard as he tried, all his iron discipline was not enough to recapture the sexual genie that had escaped from the bottle. At one point, he had considered seeking other female companionship, but then had recoiled, telling himself that this was against everything he believed in. He needed to move on with his music, his fans, and plan for a future that did not include Lisa. Creating the miracle that was his baby with Debbie had been part of that. In time, he was sure, he would find another companion, would find a more than satisfactory replacement for what he had lost. She could not have been that unique, after all. All that was required was patience. And he had to stay away from Lisa.
Well, after their meeting in Liz’s condo, all those perfectly rational plans had taken a sharp detour and had raced down the road to insanity once again. Seeing her again re-infected him with the brand of madness he had thought to be immune to. If she played him by acting distant and unaffected while allowing her body to send signals of a totally different kind, he became a willing pawn. The closer he moved to the realization of his dreams of a child, and the more plans to keep Debbie a surrogate spiraled out of control, the less he could curb his desire to somehow break down those fake defenses Lisa had erected. It was not like he was dishonest telling her he missed her friendship. He just kept the part about missing their sexual connection to himself for the moment. This was data to be disclosed on a need-to-know basis, and as he saw it, Lisa had no current need to know. She would find out when the time was right.
Just about thirty minutes earlier, he thought the time would never be right again. He was ready to be done with her once and for all. He had been serious when he wanted nothing more than to have her aggressive, angry, unfair, hurtful ass out of here. Much easier to have her gone than to be played over and over. Then, something odd had happened. Something flooded his system. For a second, he had broken down and admitted that he could not get her out of his system. The next instant had been marked by the most acute horror and fear. The pressure had been unbearable and the released venom raced through him, causing almost paralytic dread of having revealed himself. He needed her to leave with equal intensity as he needed her to stay. Against all expectations, she stayed. Can one ever be glad that a tornado did not change course? Well, like he said, he was insane, so he moved toward the funnel cloud with eyes wide open.
Having had that first hit of his personal opium had been mind-blowing. His tolerance lowered after months of abstinence, his resistance was at a minimum. Now, being able to touch her skin, feel her breath, while having all his nerves stripped of their insulating sheaths, he was ready for that next high.
“We won’t make it to the bed if you don’t stop it.” How had he found the necessary oxygen for the moaned words?
“Fuck the bed. I don’t need a bed. I need you. It’s been way too long. I need you inside me. I know that magic wand is ready to produce more sparks, I can feel you, sugar.” She wiggled her hips, making contact with his ready and turgid member. God, after the amazing blowjob he had worried for second if he would be able to continue the ride, but it seemed his worries were totally unfounded. And she knew it. The little witch knew full well what she did to him.
Michael made it to just inside his bedroom before he roughly slammed her against the closest wall. He needed leverage to show her just how bright he meant to illuminate the sky for her. Lisa let out a low moan on impact, followed by a little whimper when he urged her to loosen her legs around him and put her on the floor. She swayed and he held her by her waist, backing up to take in the woman before him who was personified sexual need and seduction. Her hair was messed up, her skin flushed from her face down her chest. He noticed red splotches where he had kissed and marked her with his stubble. Her eyes were wide, the irises almost green. He always joked that she would never be able to fake her arousal as her eyes would give her away. They tended to switch from clear blue to turquoise green, signaling her readiness. Her pupils were dilated and she looked like she was under the influence of some powerful mind-altering substance. With a rush of adrenaline, pride at his own power over her coursed through him. His gaze took in her swollen wet lips, a ruby red gracing them long after the lipstick was a distant memory. Her breasts were decorated by diamond hard nipples. The room temperature was perfect, and the sheen of sweet making her appear like a golden statue attested to the fact that she was not cold at all. No, she was hot alright. Hot for him. And he meant to stoke those fires until she begged for her release. He only hoped he would be able to survive the inferno himself.
Lisa pulled his head close to her and devoured his lips. Really, he had no idea who kissed whom, not that it mattered as they both engaged in an intense trade of giving and taking. Michael used his hands to alternate between kneading her breasts and letting his fingers pinch her nipples followed by feather light touches. Greedily, he inhaled and swallowed her little cries. Her hand had come around and she grabbed his butt again, squeezing, then pulling him into her, her hips moving in tantalizing motion against him, his painfully engorged penis, being massaged by her abs. One of her hands left his behind and he held his breath as she traced her hand up his rib cage then descending slowly, reaching between them, and grabbing a hold of his steel. It was his turn to moan. His head fell back and Lisa rose on her toes, her tongue capturing droplets of sweat that had started to pearl on his neck. Her next move involved small bites and open-mouthed kisses, which included her sucking on him greedily. Shivers ran through him.
“Lise…oh God...”
“Hm…you taste like heaven; every…,” she kissed him, “…single…,” – another kiss and tickle of her tongue, “…part of you.”
If she did not cease and desist, he would cum in her hand any second now. Had he thought the edge had been taken off? How could he underestimate her magic? Well, maybe it was time to take the power back. Michael reached for her hands, interlacing his fingers with hers, before holding them against the wall next to her. She opened her eyes and he smiled down at her, kissing her nose, placing a soft kiss on her mouth, but not letting her tongue pull him in again.
His dreams were a different matter. But so what, if he woke up rock hard after nights of feeling her next to him, her scorching wetness around him, of smelling her scent, of being almost able to taste her? No big deal that he ran up the water bill with countless cold showers, and spent countless hours in the dance studio trying to exorcise the sexual demon inhabiting his mind. Hard as he tried, all his iron discipline was not enough to recapture the sexual genie that had escaped from the bottle. At one point, he had considered seeking other female companionship, but then had recoiled, telling himself that this was against everything he believed in. He needed to move on with his music, his fans, and plan for a future that did not include Lisa. Creating the miracle that was his baby with Debbie had been part of that. In time, he was sure, he would find another companion, would find a more than satisfactory replacement for what he had lost. She could not have been that unique, after all. All that was required was patience. And he had to stay away from Lisa.
Well, after their meeting in Liz’s condo, all those perfectly rational plans had taken a sharp detour and had raced down the road to insanity once again. Seeing her again re-infected him with the brand of madness he had thought to be immune to. If she played him by acting distant and unaffected while allowing her body to send signals of a totally different kind, he became a willing pawn. The closer he moved to the realization of his dreams of a child, and the more plans to keep Debbie a surrogate spiraled out of control, the less he could curb his desire to somehow break down those fake defenses Lisa had erected. It was not like he was dishonest telling her he missed her friendship. He just kept the part about missing their sexual connection to himself for the moment. This was data to be disclosed on a need-to-know basis, and as he saw it, Lisa had no current need to know. She would find out when the time was right.
Just about thirty minutes earlier, he thought the time would never be right again. He was ready to be done with her once and for all. He had been serious when he wanted nothing more than to have her aggressive, angry, unfair, hurtful ass out of here. Much easier to have her gone than to be played over and over. Then, something odd had happened. Something flooded his system. For a second, he had broken down and admitted that he could not get her out of his system. The next instant had been marked by the most acute horror and fear. The pressure had been unbearable and the released venom raced through him, causing almost paralytic dread of having revealed himself. He needed her to leave with equal intensity as he needed her to stay. Against all expectations, she stayed. Can one ever be glad that a tornado did not change course? Well, like he said, he was insane, so he moved toward the funnel cloud with eyes wide open.
Having had that first hit of his personal opium had been mind-blowing. His tolerance lowered after months of abstinence, his resistance was at a minimum. Now, being able to touch her skin, feel her breath, while having all his nerves stripped of their insulating sheaths, he was ready for that next high.
“We won’t make it to the bed if you don’t stop it.” How had he found the necessary oxygen for the moaned words?
“Fuck the bed. I don’t need a bed. I need you. It’s been way too long. I need you inside me. I know that magic wand is ready to produce more sparks, I can feel you, sugar.” She wiggled her hips, making contact with his ready and turgid member. God, after the amazing blowjob he had worried for second if he would be able to continue the ride, but it seemed his worries were totally unfounded. And she knew it. The little witch knew full well what she did to him.
Michael made it to just inside his bedroom before he roughly slammed her against the closest wall. He needed leverage to show her just how bright he meant to illuminate the sky for her. Lisa let out a low moan on impact, followed by a little whimper when he urged her to loosen her legs around him and put her on the floor. She swayed and he held her by her waist, backing up to take in the woman before him who was personified sexual need and seduction. Her hair was messed up, her skin flushed from her face down her chest. He noticed red splotches where he had kissed and marked her with his stubble. Her eyes were wide, the irises almost green. He always joked that she would never be able to fake her arousal as her eyes would give her away. They tended to switch from clear blue to turquoise green, signaling her readiness. Her pupils were dilated and she looked like she was under the influence of some powerful mind-altering substance. With a rush of adrenaline, pride at his own power over her coursed through him. His gaze took in her swollen wet lips, a ruby red gracing them long after the lipstick was a distant memory. Her breasts were decorated by diamond hard nipples. The room temperature was perfect, and the sheen of sweet making her appear like a golden statue attested to the fact that she was not cold at all. No, she was hot alright. Hot for him. And he meant to stoke those fires until she begged for her release. He only hoped he would be able to survive the inferno himself.
Lisa pulled his head close to her and devoured his lips. Really, he had no idea who kissed whom, not that it mattered as they both engaged in an intense trade of giving and taking. Michael used his hands to alternate between kneading her breasts and letting his fingers pinch her nipples followed by feather light touches. Greedily, he inhaled and swallowed her little cries. Her hand had come around and she grabbed his butt again, squeezing, then pulling him into her, her hips moving in tantalizing motion against him, his painfully engorged penis, being massaged by her abs. One of her hands left his behind and he held his breath as she traced her hand up his rib cage then descending slowly, reaching between them, and grabbing a hold of his steel. It was his turn to moan. His head fell back and Lisa rose on her toes, her tongue capturing droplets of sweat that had started to pearl on his neck. Her next move involved small bites and open-mouthed kisses, which included her sucking on him greedily. Shivers ran through him.
“Lise…oh God...”
“Hm…you taste like heaven; every…,” she kissed him, “…single…,” – another kiss and tickle of her tongue, “…part of you.”
If she did not cease and desist, he would cum in her hand any second now. Had he thought the edge had been taken off? How could he underestimate her magic? Well, maybe it was time to take the power back. Michael reached for her hands, interlacing his fingers with hers, before holding them against the wall next to her. She opened her eyes and he smiled down at her, kissing her nose, placing a soft kiss on her mouth, but not letting her tongue pull him in again.
“Back off a bit, girl.”
She raised an eye-brow.
“Back off? Can’t handle it, Daddy?” The evil glint in her eyes challenged him.
“Oh, baby girl, there is nothing I can’t handle. Did you forget who you’re dealing with? I just want to give you a little break before you have to beg for mercy. I wanna help you save face. I’m a gentleman, you know.” Giving her his cocky smile, she responded with a deep laughter that reverberated deep inside him.
“You’re too much, Mike. God how I missed your cocky ass.”
“Hope you didn’t only miss my ass. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet, babe.” With that, he quickly bestowed another kiss on her before making his way down her body, showering first her neck, then her chest, then her belly with kisses as he sank to his knees before her. Lisa’s fingers tightened under his grasp, but for now, he kept her hands in place, enjoying the shudder of her muscles under his lips, the moans urging him on, the goosebumps roughening up the smooth texture of her skin. He could smell her arousal and it was the sweetest and most fragrant aphrodisiac he could ever imagine.
“Michael, please…” Her dark voice reminded him of deep red velvet- so sensual…so soft.
Not many things on earth affected him like Lisa begging for sexual favors. However, that did not mean he planned to release her from her bondage anytime soon. Michael glanced up and noticed her head had fallen back against the wall, her eyes were closed. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips.
“Lisa. Watch me.” The tone was just the right mixture of command and sultry seduction needed to get her attention.
His tongue circled her adorable belly button, before dipping into it, letting it push against the wall, exploring the little grooves, enjoying her gasps and moans.
“Lisa?” He looked up and saw she had followed his command, her heavy lids open, watching his tongue.
“Yes.” Her voice was a whisper.
“I will let go of your hands. Put them on my shoulders. That’s it. Don’t move them anywhere else. Got it?”
She nodded in agreement and he let go of her hands. Funny how this obstinate, defiant woman became his willing submissive during their sex play. Her hot little hands came to rest on his shoulders.
In turn, he let his palms rest on the soft arch of her hips. For such a tiny woman she had the most delicious, round ass he had ever seen. As his tongue continued its play, his fingers softly stroked her hips up and down before he let them travel around to the adorable globes. His mouth started to place soft kisses and little nips on her lower abdomen. One hand rested gently on her behind, while the other came to start a teasing trail from her ankle up to the tender, sensitive skin behind her knee, then up her inner thigh. Finally he took that leg and lifted it up slightly by her thigh, exposing her core to him. Pulling her toward him by the hand on her ass, he let his tongue caress the wet folds, and enjoyed her scream and jerking movement.
“That’s right baby. I need to taste you. I have hungered for you for too long. No more. You’re mine. All mine.”
“Lisa. Watch me.” The tone was just the right mixture of command and sultry seduction needed to get her attention.
His tongue circled her adorable belly button, before dipping into it, letting it push against the wall, exploring the little grooves, enjoying her gasps and moans.
“Lisa?” He looked up and saw she had followed his command, her heavy lids open, watching his tongue.
“Yes.” Her voice was a whisper.
“I will let go of your hands. Put them on my shoulders. That’s it. Don’t move them anywhere else. Got it?”
She nodded in agreement and he let go of her hands. Funny how this obstinate, defiant woman became his willing submissive during their sex play. Her hot little hands came to rest on his shoulders.
In turn, he let his palms rest on the soft arch of her hips. For such a tiny woman she had the most delicious, round ass he had ever seen. As his tongue continued its play, his fingers softly stroked her hips up and down before he let them travel around to the adorable globes. His mouth started to place soft kisses and little nips on her lower abdomen. One hand rested gently on her behind, while the other came to start a teasing trail from her ankle up to the tender, sensitive skin behind her knee, then up her inner thigh. Finally he took that leg and lifted it up slightly by her thigh, exposing her core to him. Pulling her toward him by the hand on her ass, he let his tongue caress the wet folds, and enjoyed her scream and jerking movement.
“That’s right baby. I need to taste you. I have hungered for you for too long. No more. You’re mine. All mine.”
Her response was a whimper and an increase of fluids on his tongue. He parted her swollen folds with his tongue and let himself circle her opening before allowing his tongue venture further, feeling her inner walls flutter around him in tight spasms. His eyes darted up, and he met her glassy gaze. Her mouth was open, she was panting, and he noticed beads of sweat on her forehead. He pulled her leg up a bit higher and removed his tongue, blowing on her dripping center, knowing the sudden cool air would do nothing to tame the flames. She cried out again and her hips undulated forward.
“Something you want, Lise?”
“Fuck you, Mike. Come on, I am so close. Give it to me.” Had he just thought her to be submissive? He had to grin at the sudden bossiness.
He raised an eyebrow and let his tongue tease her, lapping the whole length of her womanhood. She was at his mercy.
“Please.” The plea came incased in a soft scream. Good girl- she had remembered her manners and her place in this.
Having her open to him, he regarded her pearl in its distended glory. She was so ready, so aroused. He decided to take mercy on her and his mouth closed down on the small, glistening treasure, nipping, kissing, and sucking. Leaving one hand on her ass, he moved the other one down to the spring of her pleasure. As his lips tightened around her, he let his tongue apply the pressure on her clitoris she loved so much while simultaneously entering her with two fingers, aiming to send her off. Lisa screamed out his name, her walls closing in like a vise on him, and the grip on his shoulders turned to painful bliss. Her cries turned to sobs and yet he continued to let his tongue circle the hot little nub until he felt her relaxing against his mouth. He surrendered her leg momentarily, kissing his way back up her belly to her breasts, then her neck until he finally ended at her mouth. Letting her taste her own juices, he enjoyed her tongue on his lips, licking him like a little cat looking for cream.
“Lisa, are you ready? I can’t wait anymore…” His erection was starting to be painful, he had to have her now. Once again, he lifted her leg up against him.
“What about the bed?” Her voice was a tender purr, her mouth once again sucking on his neck, driving him to distraction.
“Like you said, fuck the bed.” He decided to forget about having her on the ground and his hands closed around her tiny waist, picking her up easily once again. Her legs came around his hips and before she could get settled down, he guided himself into her hot flesh. A long moan escaped from deep inside his soul and Lisa also sighed against him. He surged upwards into her heat at the same time as she pushed down, taking all of him into her.
“Oh fuck, oh shit…I almost forgot what it feels like to have you in me like that.” Her eyes had flown open.
“You ok?” The ability to form full sentences was well beyond his reach as he let her tight, slick muscles adjust to him.
“More than ok.” She smiled at him and gave him a dirty little wink.
Michael was not sure she had ever looked more adorable.
“Great. ‘Cause, baby, you better hold on. I can’t hold still any longer.”
“Don’t hold back on my account.”
Michael lifted her slightly, letting his member leave the sheath he so craved before he slammed her down into him, filling her to the hilt, enjoying her scream that was a perfect fit for his moan. He was transported into a universe where logical thought ceased to exist. His mouth greedily feasted on her neck before finding her lips again, his tongue imitating the stroking movements in the microcosms of her mouth that so perfectly mirrored the heat encasing his twitching penis. His movements became a dance, the rhythm he thought he would never hear again resurrected in his mind. Impossible tension filled him, blood coursing through him, his pulse loud and driving like a bass line in his ears.
Lisa’s little sound became louder, the incomprehensible moans and cries interspersed with curse words. Looking at her, he noticed the flush spreading from her cheeks down her chest, indicating the impending eruption. He slowed his movements slightly, letting himself withdraw almost totally for several strokes, before entering her with vehemence each time, then pausing, letting her gyrate her hips on him, knowing full well he was caressing her clitoris with each impact. Michael let his mouth travel to her ear, sucking her ear lobe, kissing her ear, letting his ragged breaths caress her.
“You almost there?”
“Oh, God, yeah, almost, oh shit…fuck…”
He lowered his head and bit her nipple as he thrust up into her, his hips rotating against her, changing up his straight stabs into a circular, dragging movement. He felt her coming apart and held on, holding his breath, hoping to be able to withstand the pull of her grip, aiming to prologue the heavenly sensations filling his every cell, every nerve ending. Lisa let out a loud, long yell, followed by loud, sensual moans. He continued to pound into her, enjoying her rapture while keeping iron control on himself. As much as he wanted to reach up and touch the sky during this crazy rocket ride, he also wanted to enjoy the dance he never thought to dance again.
His movement pulled another orgasm from her, and he was barely aware when she bit his neck a little harder than he would have liked. The feeling of her body convulsing around him was wonderful and painful at the same time. He pulled her against him, holding her still, forcing his hips to be still against her to grant her a moment to recover.
“Mike, that was…fuck, you are still so hard inside. Guess we’re not done yet, hm?”
“I’m never gonna be done with you, girl. I can’t get enough, not ever.”
Lisa kissed him and he lifted her into him, holding her securely as his eyes darted to the bed which still had not moved any closer. His legs had started to burn with the effort of supporting her while fucking her at the same time and it seemed like a really good idea to finally try out those high count sheets.
“Oh god, I feel you moving inside of me when you walk. Oh crap, it feels so nice.” She nuzzled his neck and he was sure his self-control was about to snap. Lifting her up gently, he forced himself to pull out of the heat and he instantly regretted the move, the suddenly cold air hitting his hot, sensitized skin, forcing him to draw in a sharp breath and Lisa to moan her disapproval at losing his fullness.
He gently pushed her down on the bed, and she playfully fell against the sheets, one leg straight, the other drawn up playfully, her arms reaching for him. He came to rest next to her and let his hands travel the seductive, round planes of her skin, watching her shiver under his touch. His hand came to rest on the soft nest of damp curls, as one finger stroked her folds, parting them gently, making sure the fires of her arousal were once again rekindled. Kissing and suckling her nipples, Lisa held his head to her, and he heard her breathing increase again. She reached down and stroked him, driving him close to the brink of insanity.
“Come on baby, give it to me again. I feel so empty. Fuck me, Mike, fuck me hard and show me how much you missed me.”
Kissing her, he started to get up on his knees between her now parted legs that were open and waiting for him. He stared at her before him, reaching for himself, stroking the length once or twice, enjoying her eyes on him.
“See this, Princess?”
“Hard to miss, Mike.”
“You want this back?”
“I never wanted to give it up in the first place.”
“You know how I wanna give it to you?”
“No, Daddy. Why don’t you tell me how you want me? I do whatever you want, you know that.”
“Turn around then, baby. I want to see that cute ass up in the air.”
She smiled and licked her lips. He knew full well that this was one of their favorite positions as it ensured even deeper penetration. Turning slowly, she went down on her hands and knees, then sank onto her elbows, her butt up, the round globes offered up to him, as her glistening opening promised heaven once again. Guiding himself into her, he stopped to tease the opening, letting the head of his penis circle the puffy skin, then letting it run up and down the length of her fold, using it to tease her swelling clit. She reacted by shivering and sighing while pushing back.
“Tell me what you want.” His hands came to rest on her ass, he gently massaged the firm globes.
“I want you to fuck my brains out.”
“Your wish..” He pulled her closer and rammed into her, hearing her emit a small cry of pleasure as her muscles gripped him and held him in heavenly prison. “...is my command.”
Before long, he was not able to keep the measured strokes slow and grinding and instead held her, bringing her to him hard, thrusting into her, filling her. Every stroke, every movement was pure torture and before long he felt her quiver under him as he felt all the pent up tension wind up his balls in a tight knot. He was about to explode, his vision started to get fuzzy.
“Fuck you, Mike. Come on, I am so close. Give it to me.” Had he just thought her to be submissive? He had to grin at the sudden bossiness.
He raised an eyebrow and let his tongue tease her, lapping the whole length of her womanhood. She was at his mercy.
“Please.” The plea came incased in a soft scream. Good girl- she had remembered her manners and her place in this.
Having her open to him, he regarded her pearl in its distended glory. She was so ready, so aroused. He decided to take mercy on her and his mouth closed down on the small, glistening treasure, nipping, kissing, and sucking. Leaving one hand on her ass, he moved the other one down to the spring of her pleasure. As his lips tightened around her, he let his tongue apply the pressure on her clitoris she loved so much while simultaneously entering her with two fingers, aiming to send her off. Lisa screamed out his name, her walls closing in like a vise on him, and the grip on his shoulders turned to painful bliss. Her cries turned to sobs and yet he continued to let his tongue circle the hot little nub until he felt her relaxing against his mouth. He surrendered her leg momentarily, kissing his way back up her belly to her breasts, then her neck until he finally ended at her mouth. Letting her taste her own juices, he enjoyed her tongue on his lips, licking him like a little cat looking for cream.
“Lisa, are you ready? I can’t wait anymore…” His erection was starting to be painful, he had to have her now. Once again, he lifted her leg up against him.
“What about the bed?” Her voice was a tender purr, her mouth once again sucking on his neck, driving him to distraction.
“Like you said, fuck the bed.” He decided to forget about having her on the ground and his hands closed around her tiny waist, picking her up easily once again. Her legs came around his hips and before she could get settled down, he guided himself into her hot flesh. A long moan escaped from deep inside his soul and Lisa also sighed against him. He surged upwards into her heat at the same time as she pushed down, taking all of him into her.
“Oh fuck, oh shit…I almost forgot what it feels like to have you in me like that.” Her eyes had flown open.
“You ok?” The ability to form full sentences was well beyond his reach as he let her tight, slick muscles adjust to him.
“More than ok.” She smiled at him and gave him a dirty little wink.
Michael was not sure she had ever looked more adorable.
“Great. ‘Cause, baby, you better hold on. I can’t hold still any longer.”
“Don’t hold back on my account.”
Michael lifted her slightly, letting his member leave the sheath he so craved before he slammed her down into him, filling her to the hilt, enjoying her scream that was a perfect fit for his moan. He was transported into a universe where logical thought ceased to exist. His mouth greedily feasted on her neck before finding her lips again, his tongue imitating the stroking movements in the microcosms of her mouth that so perfectly mirrored the heat encasing his twitching penis. His movements became a dance, the rhythm he thought he would never hear again resurrected in his mind. Impossible tension filled him, blood coursing through him, his pulse loud and driving like a bass line in his ears.
Lisa’s little sound became louder, the incomprehensible moans and cries interspersed with curse words. Looking at her, he noticed the flush spreading from her cheeks down her chest, indicating the impending eruption. He slowed his movements slightly, letting himself withdraw almost totally for several strokes, before entering her with vehemence each time, then pausing, letting her gyrate her hips on him, knowing full well he was caressing her clitoris with each impact. Michael let his mouth travel to her ear, sucking her ear lobe, kissing her ear, letting his ragged breaths caress her.
“You almost there?”
“Oh, God, yeah, almost, oh shit…fuck…”
He lowered his head and bit her nipple as he thrust up into her, his hips rotating against her, changing up his straight stabs into a circular, dragging movement. He felt her coming apart and held on, holding his breath, hoping to be able to withstand the pull of her grip, aiming to prologue the heavenly sensations filling his every cell, every nerve ending. Lisa let out a loud, long yell, followed by loud, sensual moans. He continued to pound into her, enjoying her rapture while keeping iron control on himself. As much as he wanted to reach up and touch the sky during this crazy rocket ride, he also wanted to enjoy the dance he never thought to dance again.
His movement pulled another orgasm from her, and he was barely aware when she bit his neck a little harder than he would have liked. The feeling of her body convulsing around him was wonderful and painful at the same time. He pulled her against him, holding her still, forcing his hips to be still against her to grant her a moment to recover.
“Mike, that was…fuck, you are still so hard inside. Guess we’re not done yet, hm?”
“I’m never gonna be done with you, girl. I can’t get enough, not ever.”
Lisa kissed him and he lifted her into him, holding her securely as his eyes darted to the bed which still had not moved any closer. His legs had started to burn with the effort of supporting her while fucking her at the same time and it seemed like a really good idea to finally try out those high count sheets.
“Oh god, I feel you moving inside of me when you walk. Oh crap, it feels so nice.” She nuzzled his neck and he was sure his self-control was about to snap. Lifting her up gently, he forced himself to pull out of the heat and he instantly regretted the move, the suddenly cold air hitting his hot, sensitized skin, forcing him to draw in a sharp breath and Lisa to moan her disapproval at losing his fullness.
He gently pushed her down on the bed, and she playfully fell against the sheets, one leg straight, the other drawn up playfully, her arms reaching for him. He came to rest next to her and let his hands travel the seductive, round planes of her skin, watching her shiver under his touch. His hand came to rest on the soft nest of damp curls, as one finger stroked her folds, parting them gently, making sure the fires of her arousal were once again rekindled. Kissing and suckling her nipples, Lisa held his head to her, and he heard her breathing increase again. She reached down and stroked him, driving him close to the brink of insanity.
“Come on baby, give it to me again. I feel so empty. Fuck me, Mike, fuck me hard and show me how much you missed me.”
Kissing her, he started to get up on his knees between her now parted legs that were open and waiting for him. He stared at her before him, reaching for himself, stroking the length once or twice, enjoying her eyes on him.
“See this, Princess?”
“Hard to miss, Mike.”
“You want this back?”
“I never wanted to give it up in the first place.”
“You know how I wanna give it to you?”
“No, Daddy. Why don’t you tell me how you want me? I do whatever you want, you know that.”
“Turn around then, baby. I want to see that cute ass up in the air.”
She smiled and licked her lips. He knew full well that this was one of their favorite positions as it ensured even deeper penetration. Turning slowly, she went down on her hands and knees, then sank onto her elbows, her butt up, the round globes offered up to him, as her glistening opening promised heaven once again. Guiding himself into her, he stopped to tease the opening, letting the head of his penis circle the puffy skin, then letting it run up and down the length of her fold, using it to tease her swelling clit. She reacted by shivering and sighing while pushing back.
“Tell me what you want.” His hands came to rest on her ass, he gently massaged the firm globes.
“I want you to fuck my brains out.”
“Your wish..” He pulled her closer and rammed into her, hearing her emit a small cry of pleasure as her muscles gripped him and held him in heavenly prison. “...is my command.”
Before long, he was not able to keep the measured strokes slow and grinding and instead held her, bringing her to him hard, thrusting into her, filling her. Every stroke, every movement was pure torture and before long he felt her quiver under him as he felt all the pent up tension wind up his balls in a tight knot. He was about to explode, his vision started to get fuzzy.
“Come on, Lisa, let it go again, I want to feel you cum with me. Let go, baby.”
She met his every jab, and he could tell she was about to jump off the ledge. Reaching around her, he found her pearl and pinched it, spreading her seeping juices over the bundle of nerves, hearing her scream his name at the same time as she convulsed around him. The fuse had been lit before, and he felt like he was now launching into space, witnessing a supernova exploding all around him in a cascading cacophony of light, sound, and the purest emotions possible. The heat around him was mirrored by the hot jet erupting from him in spurts, as his spasms continued outside as well as inside her body. His still drove into her, guided now by instinct and reflex more than volition.
Lisa had fallen down on her knees, she was sobbing and moaning under him and he was aware that he had pulled her close. The eruptions did not seem to stop and he thought his climax would go on forever. Faintly, he was aware that the some of the moans and screams were his own. He felt that the skin he held on to was now hot and sweaty. Falling sideways, still in her, he pulled her closer to him, spooning her from behind. Their breathing was out of control and he tried to inhale the oxygen that had momentarily left the room, while kissing her shoulders, pulling her damp hair to the side, then nuzzling her nape.
He had no idea how much time had gone by before his chest stopped burning from the effort to breathe.
“Holy fuck.” Lisa’s first words sounded hoarse and were a mere whisper.
“Potty mouth.” He kissed her hot skin.
“I might be wrong, but I thought I heard a ‘fucking shit’ right before you …”
He giggled and brought his hand over her mouth. She laughed as well, kissing the hand over her lips.
“How did I ever live without you? I have no idea how I can ever let you go again.” He kissed her head and felt her snuggling closer into him, sending shudders through him.
“Well, good luck with that. I’m not letting Nursey have any of that sweet ass; it’s all mine again.”
“All my body parts are at your disposal, princess.”
“Oh yeah?” She playfully let her muscles clench down on him.
“Stop it- you gonna make it grow again.”
“And that would be bad…how?”
“You won’t ask that when you can’t walk tomorrow.”
“Aren’t we full of ourselves…” Her voice trailed off and he heard and felt her yawn.
“I don’t know about ‘we,’ but you were full of me just a second ago, and I think you screamed my name out so loud, someone will call hotel security.”
She just sighed against him and he felt her breathing get deeper, her muscles become more pliant.
“Lisa?” Bracing up on his elbow he peaked over her shoulder, lifting her hair from her face. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted. Damp strands of curls were plastered to her forehead. Forcing himself to pull himself from her warmth, he heard her sigh against the loss. Michael moved her gingerly, manipulating the blanket from under her, raising the sheet up to her shoulders, making sure she was snug and warm. She must be so exhausted. He knew she had a long flight behind her, followed by their fight and then the intense sexual reunion.
Sitting over her, he watched her chest rising and falling in peaceful, exhausted slumber. He remembered so many nights like this: Lisa passed out after several rounds of rigorous love making while he felt wide awake, left to watch the usually noisy and feisty woman who, when in sleep, looked so young and innocent. It still amazed him that she had come all the way to be with him. For one second, he was tempted to analyze what this all meant. This was really a horrible mess. He had tied himself to someone who had granted him his deepest wish to avoid disappointing his mother’s expectations. Mere hours ago, he thought the baby was all he could ever want. Now, watching Lisa sleep, he felt a horrible doubt rise from the depths of his soul. What if the baby was not the answer to all his prayers? What if in his dogged pursuit of fatherhood he had lost another important ingredient to happiness?
No, it was not possible. Lisa was not the key to happiness. He had tried that route and had run off-course badly. However, what if the answer was not one or the other, but a combination of the two? Well, the joke was on him: he had a baby and he had a wife. Only, the wife was not the woman he loved. Or at least not the woman he craved. No, he did not love Lisa, did he? He had loved her before and she had taken his heart, ripped it into shreds, and thrown the remaining snippets into this face. He could not go through this again. But living without her these past months had also been hell. Why did life have to be so damn complicated?
Lisa stirred and snuggled closer into him. Yeah, she was right here, she was real, was not just another mirage. What if she only came ‘cause she thought she could not have him? What if getting him to sleep with her had been some challenge she could not resist. After all, she had not said what he meant to her. Oh, she wanted him alright, but he had always known how Lisa felt about his sexual abilities. Lisa was no saint, and he knew there had been other men shortly after the divorce, so how did he figure in? Was she just back to get more of what others could not give her? He knew she had loved him before, but that had not stopped her from making nonstop demands he could not possibly meet.
No, she had to love him. It was not possible that she had just stopped. Knowing her, she probably had wished to stop loving him, but the way she responded to him tonight was proof that the feelings were back. Well, he would be careful. He had given her enough of himself, he would not hand her the dagger to cut his heart out once again.
Lisa rolled onto her back. Her eyes opened and she blinked up at him.
He had no idea how much time had gone by before his chest stopped burning from the effort to breathe.
“Holy fuck.” Lisa’s first words sounded hoarse and were a mere whisper.
“Potty mouth.” He kissed her hot skin.
“I might be wrong, but I thought I heard a ‘fucking shit’ right before you …”
He giggled and brought his hand over her mouth. She laughed as well, kissing the hand over her lips.
“How did I ever live without you? I have no idea how I can ever let you go again.” He kissed her head and felt her snuggling closer into him, sending shudders through him.
“Well, good luck with that. I’m not letting Nursey have any of that sweet ass; it’s all mine again.”
“All my body parts are at your disposal, princess.”
“Oh yeah?” She playfully let her muscles clench down on him.
“Stop it- you gonna make it grow again.”
“And that would be bad…how?”
“You won’t ask that when you can’t walk tomorrow.”
“Aren’t we full of ourselves…” Her voice trailed off and he heard and felt her yawn.
“I don’t know about ‘we,’ but you were full of me just a second ago, and I think you screamed my name out so loud, someone will call hotel security.”
She just sighed against him and he felt her breathing get deeper, her muscles become more pliant.
“Lisa?” Bracing up on his elbow he peaked over her shoulder, lifting her hair from her face. Her eyes were closed and her lips were slightly parted. Damp strands of curls were plastered to her forehead. Forcing himself to pull himself from her warmth, he heard her sigh against the loss. Michael moved her gingerly, manipulating the blanket from under her, raising the sheet up to her shoulders, making sure she was snug and warm. She must be so exhausted. He knew she had a long flight behind her, followed by their fight and then the intense sexual reunion.
Sitting over her, he watched her chest rising and falling in peaceful, exhausted slumber. He remembered so many nights like this: Lisa passed out after several rounds of rigorous love making while he felt wide awake, left to watch the usually noisy and feisty woman who, when in sleep, looked so young and innocent. It still amazed him that she had come all the way to be with him. For one second, he was tempted to analyze what this all meant. This was really a horrible mess. He had tied himself to someone who had granted him his deepest wish to avoid disappointing his mother’s expectations. Mere hours ago, he thought the baby was all he could ever want. Now, watching Lisa sleep, he felt a horrible doubt rise from the depths of his soul. What if the baby was not the answer to all his prayers? What if in his dogged pursuit of fatherhood he had lost another important ingredient to happiness?
No, it was not possible. Lisa was not the key to happiness. He had tried that route and had run off-course badly. However, what if the answer was not one or the other, but a combination of the two? Well, the joke was on him: he had a baby and he had a wife. Only, the wife was not the woman he loved. Or at least not the woman he craved. No, he did not love Lisa, did he? He had loved her before and she had taken his heart, ripped it into shreds, and thrown the remaining snippets into this face. He could not go through this again. But living without her these past months had also been hell. Why did life have to be so damn complicated?
Lisa stirred and snuggled closer into him. Yeah, she was right here, she was real, was not just another mirage. What if she only came ‘cause she thought she could not have him? What if getting him to sleep with her had been some challenge she could not resist. After all, she had not said what he meant to her. Oh, she wanted him alright, but he had always known how Lisa felt about his sexual abilities. Lisa was no saint, and he knew there had been other men shortly after the divorce, so how did he figure in? Was she just back to get more of what others could not give her? He knew she had loved him before, but that had not stopped her from making nonstop demands he could not possibly meet.
No, she had to love him. It was not possible that she had just stopped. Knowing her, she probably had wished to stop loving him, but the way she responded to him tonight was proof that the feelings were back. Well, he would be careful. He had given her enough of himself, he would not hand her the dagger to cut his heart out once again.
Lisa rolled onto her back. Her eyes opened and she blinked up at him.
“Are you watching me? Why aren’t you going to sleep?”
“Maybe I’m afraid you will disappear if I close my eyes.” Dammit! Had he not just resolved to be careful? Well, she was sleepy, and he could simply not suppress those damn tender feelings. Plus, he had said, ‘maybe,’ so he was possibly safe.
“No chance. Just try getting rid of me. I’ll kick your ass.”
“Well, you scare me. So, I won’t get rid of you tonight, I guess.”
“Go to sleep, Michael. Before I kick your ass anyway.”
“You just want my ass, period.”
“You got it, baby.” She reached up and pulled his mouth down to her, kissing him sensually.
“If I didn’t think you needed rest, I would totally pounce on you again.” He felt something stirring. No way was he ready again. Or maybe he was.
She rolled back over on her side, pulling his arm over herself, and holding on to his hand. Sighing, he felt her relax into him once more. No, she was tired, he had to let her rest. Suddenly, he felt the toll today had taken on him. The fatigue he so often desired but that was like an elusive dream started to engulf him. Only with Lisa did he feel secure enough to let himself rest.
One more thought surfaced in the settling fog like a beacon of light.
“Lisa?”
No answer.
“Lisa Marie?” Her fingers remained interlaced with his, but they were unresponsive to his little squeeze. Perfect. She was out cold. It was safe.
“I love you baby-girl. I love you so fucking much.”
There he had said it. And she would not be able to hold it against him.
Right before he succumbed to the dark, velvet cloud covering him, he imagined he heard her deep voice though the darkness.
“I love you, too, Mike.”
One more thought surfaced in the settling fog like a beacon of light.
“Lisa?”
No answer.
“Lisa Marie?” Her fingers remained interlaced with his, but they were unresponsive to his little squeeze. Perfect. She was out cold. It was safe.
“I love you baby-girl. I love you so fucking much.”
There he had said it. And she would not be able to hold it against him.
Right before he succumbed to the dark, velvet cloud covering him, he imagined he heard her deep voice though the darkness.
“I love you, too, Mike.”
7
Lisa lay on the bed, exhausted yet again. The goofy smile on her face could not be suppressed. This was a glorious morning, indeed. God, she had missed him so much. How had she ever survived without him? How in the world had she conjured up the strength to leave in the first place. For what? And wasn’t it funny how standards of acceptability could change basically overnight? She left because she had felt it was impossible to live with him under constant fears of losing him, under constant pressure to have another baby, and under constant state of war with either Michael or his people. And then there was Debbi and her diabolic offer.
Now, she suddenly had been confronted with the reality of not being able to live without him. His absence had robbed her existence of all light, rendering reality with a blurry black and white version of what used to be her life. Like a sun loving plant transported into a subterranean cellar, this absence of his physical and emotional love had reduced her to a hollow shell. Now, having once again subjected herself to his intoxicating influence, she was not sure how she was supposed to return to the grave she had condemned herself to.
After her initial exhausting sleep, she had woken to Michael playing with her hair. She tried to open her eyes without him noticing and spied under the curtain of lowered lashes as he held a long curl between his fingers, feeling the smoothness, bending it toward the light. She had no idea why the innocent gesture touched her heart. It was just like earlier, when she had noticed that he sat there, watching her while she slept. She must have gone totally crazy because she also had imagined he had told her that he loved her. Well, she reminded herself to stay rooted in reality and not let her wishful thinking take her hostage.
“Hey, sleepy head. Did I wake you?” He must have noticed her eyes on him.
“No, not really. What are you up to?”
He smiled down at her, still playing with her hair.
“I dreamt of waking up next to you so many times. It was like I missed the feeling of your hair tickling me. Weird how you get used to stuff like that. And weird how those are the things you miss.”
She swallowed hard. He was being so sweet. Could she maybe just enjoy this nowhere-land a couple of hours more before having to face the exact topography of the terrain that was his new life? A new life devoid of old boundaries, but full of brand new territories, rules, and borders.
“If you had told me you missed my hair, I would have sent you a strand, you know?”
Michael let go of the silken thread and instead placed his hand on her cheek, now gently caressing the smoothness of her skin.
“I missed the stubborn little person the hair is attached to, as well. I miss your head, your eyes, your nose, your mouth…” He let his fingers glide over her face, allowing them linger a second longer on her lips, tracing her mouth. Lisa could not let this opportunity pass by and she grabbed his slender wrist, keeping his hand accessible, her tongue darting out, turning his long, sensual digit into her playground, climbing and caressing it at the same time before surrounding it, then sucking it into her hot mouth. Michael watched her intently, and she noticed his eyes changing shade, getting darker, hotter, more intense, turning into a magical hypnotic mirror, getting ready to hypnotize her.
Lisa surrendered his finger only to bestow little kisses on his hand, taking special care with the thin membrane of the sensitive area on the inside of his wrist. She had always loved and adored his hands. Not only for his touches and the responses they could seduce from her body, but also for their pure esthetic value.
“I love your hands,” she breathed.
“Oh, yeah, why…?” His voice was now raspy and deep, seducing her as it ran across her nerves with a silky, provocative drag.
“Cause…” She kissed his wrist, letting her tongue draw little circles on him, before once again needing to taste him. His finger was sucked into her mouth in a pretty accurate imitation of what she had done to another part of him earlier. She let him exit with a little popping sound. “…they’re strong, they know how to hold me, how to stroke me… and they’re frigging big.” Her eyes darted up at him and she gifted him with a heated look reflecting the bubbling cauldron inside.
“If you like that…” He withdrew from her grasp, only to grab her hands, kiss each one, before pulling them above her head, leaning in on her, forcing her to recline, “You will love…this.”
Michael had maneuvered himself between her legs which she immediately closed around him, possessively locking him tight into her fortress. His other big part, the part that she also knew to be extremely skilled in stroking her masterfully was at her sensitive, wet opening and he pushed inside her to the hilt without further preliminaries, knowing full well, she was ready for him again.
She screamed out, wondering why her body seemed to never fully get used to the size him him.
“Oh, God, Michael…”
“You like that, baby? You like this part of me? Can you feel how it caresses your inside? Can it stroke you? Is it big enough?”
He moved his hips in slow gyrating drag, hitting every single nerve ending with his full stroke.
A deep moan was her only audible answer.
“Well, if you don’t like it, I can…” He slowly withdrew, almost pulling out but then stopping short to leave the tip of his penis in tantalizing vicinity of her core which already missed his presence.
Lisa emitted a small, whimpering sound. “No…don’t do that…”
“What do you want, then Lisa?” He took his penis and used it to caress her opening, prior to letting it glide along the path to her clitoris, using her own juices mingled with his precum to stimulate her, making the little nub swell, and her hips thrust in an effort to recapture the hungry beast.
“Fuck me, Mike. For heavens sake, fuck me. And give it to me hard, baby.”
Michael rose onto his knees, letting go of her arms above her head, looking down at her as if he wanted to forever commit her wanton body to memory.
That’s right, Mike. You look. You look what you lost. You look at what your wife doesn’t have.
“Keep your hands up there Lisa. I wanna have your breasts out to me. And your little pussy at my disposal.”
He pulled her lower body toward him, bending forward in one fluid motion, lapping at her nipples, first one, then the other, biting the tender tips, as Lisa fisted her fingers in the soft fabric of the sheets above her. A gush of fluid answered his dirty talk, his rough tongue, and his torturous teeth.
“I dreamt of waking up next to you so many times. It was like I missed the feeling of your hair tickling me. Weird how you get used to stuff like that. And weird how those are the things you miss.”
She swallowed hard. He was being so sweet. Could she maybe just enjoy this nowhere-land a couple of hours more before having to face the exact topography of the terrain that was his new life? A new life devoid of old boundaries, but full of brand new territories, rules, and borders.
“If you had told me you missed my hair, I would have sent you a strand, you know?”
Michael let go of the silken thread and instead placed his hand on her cheek, now gently caressing the smoothness of her skin.
“I missed the stubborn little person the hair is attached to, as well. I miss your head, your eyes, your nose, your mouth…” He let his fingers glide over her face, allowing them linger a second longer on her lips, tracing her mouth. Lisa could not let this opportunity pass by and she grabbed his slender wrist, keeping his hand accessible, her tongue darting out, turning his long, sensual digit into her playground, climbing and caressing it at the same time before surrounding it, then sucking it into her hot mouth. Michael watched her intently, and she noticed his eyes changing shade, getting darker, hotter, more intense, turning into a magical hypnotic mirror, getting ready to hypnotize her.
Lisa surrendered his finger only to bestow little kisses on his hand, taking special care with the thin membrane of the sensitive area on the inside of his wrist. She had always loved and adored his hands. Not only for his touches and the responses they could seduce from her body, but also for their pure esthetic value.
“I love your hands,” she breathed.
“Oh, yeah, why…?” His voice was now raspy and deep, seducing her as it ran across her nerves with a silky, provocative drag.
“Cause…” She kissed his wrist, letting her tongue draw little circles on him, before once again needing to taste him. His finger was sucked into her mouth in a pretty accurate imitation of what she had done to another part of him earlier. She let him exit with a little popping sound. “…they’re strong, they know how to hold me, how to stroke me… and they’re frigging big.” Her eyes darted up at him and she gifted him with a heated look reflecting the bubbling cauldron inside.
“If you like that…” He withdrew from her grasp, only to grab her hands, kiss each one, before pulling them above her head, leaning in on her, forcing her to recline, “You will love…this.”
Michael had maneuvered himself between her legs which she immediately closed around him, possessively locking him tight into her fortress. His other big part, the part that she also knew to be extremely skilled in stroking her masterfully was at her sensitive, wet opening and he pushed inside her to the hilt without further preliminaries, knowing full well, she was ready for him again.
She screamed out, wondering why her body seemed to never fully get used to the size him him.
“Oh, God, Michael…”
“You like that, baby? You like this part of me? Can you feel how it caresses your inside? Can it stroke you? Is it big enough?”
He moved his hips in slow gyrating drag, hitting every single nerve ending with his full stroke.
A deep moan was her only audible answer.
“Well, if you don’t like it, I can…” He slowly withdrew, almost pulling out but then stopping short to leave the tip of his penis in tantalizing vicinity of her core which already missed his presence.
Lisa emitted a small, whimpering sound. “No…don’t do that…”
“What do you want, then Lisa?” He took his penis and used it to caress her opening, prior to letting it glide along the path to her clitoris, using her own juices mingled with his precum to stimulate her, making the little nub swell, and her hips thrust in an effort to recapture the hungry beast.
“Fuck me, Mike. For heavens sake, fuck me. And give it to me hard, baby.”
Michael rose onto his knees, letting go of her arms above her head, looking down at her as if he wanted to forever commit her wanton body to memory.
That’s right, Mike. You look. You look what you lost. You look at what your wife doesn’t have.
“Keep your hands up there Lisa. I wanna have your breasts out to me. And your little pussy at my disposal.”
He pulled her lower body toward him, bending forward in one fluid motion, lapping at her nipples, first one, then the other, biting the tender tips, as Lisa fisted her fingers in the soft fabric of the sheets above her. A gush of fluid answered his dirty talk, his rough tongue, and his torturous teeth.
“Please, baby, please…” She writhed before him, needing him in her desperately.
Responding to her pleas, he once again entered her, this time even more forcefully than before, filling her, stretching her, fulfilling her, as his eyes pierced her soul with his scorching laser gaze. Before long, Lisa came hard, screaming, biting the soft of her arm above her to muffle her sound. Michael watched her, still on his knees, his hand on her clit, having just evoked the incredible orgasm from her. She panted and her screams had started to taper off into whimpers. Michael leaned forward and kissed her gently at first, forcing himself to hold still within her constricting tunnel.
Lisa moved her arms and unable to resist touching his glistening body, caressing his back that had become slick with sweat. She also saw little rivers of perspiration collect on his forehead and temples, indicating the control he imposed on himself.
“You ready? I will die if I don’t move.”
“Oh, by all means, Daddy, please move. Make me fly again.” The words were breathed against his ear and he took her up on the invitation faster than a starving man called to the feast. With incredible control and precision, he drove her higher and higher once more. Just when she thought she was ready to hit the zenith again, he shifted her position, turned her sideways, raising her leg on his shoulder, granting him deeper access yet. He rose again, needing the leverage to one again thrust into her with the force she had craved.
“Oh, fuck, you Mike…godammit!” Her voice was rising with the tone of her screams, the frenzy her body was whipped into.
“Are you there? Cause, …shit….fuck…” She had felt him expanding once more, then shuddering against her, his body ejaculating into her in violent spurts. Witnessing this eruption, observing the look of pure agony and bliss projected on his face, being showered by the sounds of his screams, and feeling the size of his member expanding and contracting, fueled her to once again explode into fragments of glittering dust.
Afterwards he had held her again, and she once again relished the suspended state of her soul which seemed to hover above her exhausted, sated body, as it smoothly swayed to the chorus of their breaths and heartbeats.
Somehow, hours later, they had made it into the shower where they had gently washed each other, massaging tired muscles, enjoying the relaxing scents of shower oils and candles Michael had lit.
He had just turned her, lathering her back, letting the sponge glide with just the right pressure over her shoulders, her deltoids, her back, then circling her behind before gliding to her thighs.
“Spread them, Lise.”
She laughed.
“No way. You got all the goodies you gonna get for a while, Mister.”
He bent forward and kissed her nape, and she caught him making a face.
“Yuck, soap. Plus, you’re so full of yourself. I don’t wanna to do anything. I’m just washing you, massaging you…” The sponge gilded over her buttocks and toward her inner thighs.
“Yeah, right. I’ve been here before, Mike. Don’t play innocent with me…” Before her words had left her mouth, she realized the sweet tension returning to her body. Oh God, he had turned her into a total wanton creature. This was even worse than ever before. She could not possibly crave him again. Nor was she sure her body could handle him once more without being bedridden for a week. On second thought, the concept of having to be here, in his bed, unable to leave it, also sounded tempting.
Somehow, she was later uncertain how it had played out, she had ended up with her hands braced against the slippery, cool tiles, her ass toward him, his hands on her hips, as he made love to her from behind while their moans and screams were shrouded behind the protective coat of the steaming waterfall surrounding them.
Michael did finish washing her after the last interlude, and then lovingly wrapped her into a towel, carrying her to the bed. Before he placed her down, he gave her a little, cocky wink, making her eye him suspiciously. He burst out laughing. “What?”
“Don’t even think about it.”
“I’m just putting you down. You look a bit tired. You clearly lack conditioning.”
“You clearly lack self-control.”
Still laughing, he put her on the covers, using another towel he had brought in to fully dry her off. God, she felt drained, revived, pampered, and loved. And it would all end when she stepped back on that plane. It all had to end- whatever happened here had no chance of survival in the real world.
No, Lisa, stop it. You are still here. He is here. It’s only you and him.
And wifie makes three…
She took a deep breath, forcing the thoughts from her mind, aiming for a blissful state of emptiness.
Michael kissed her nose, and then finished drying himself off.
“Hey, how about I find us some food? I also have to make some calls.”
“Yeah, food sounds wonderful. I was wondering if you planned on keeping me in here without nourishment.”
“Excuse me? Last time I checked you had a full mouth during most of the night…”
“Cocks and tongues don’t count, dear.”
He blushed.
Afterwards he had held her again, and she once again relished the suspended state of her soul which seemed to hover above her exhausted, sated body, as it smoothly swayed to the chorus of their breaths and heartbeats.
Somehow, hours later, they had made it into the shower where they had gently washed each other, massaging tired muscles, enjoying the relaxing scents of shower oils and candles Michael had lit.
He had just turned her, lathering her back, letting the sponge glide with just the right pressure over her shoulders, her deltoids, her back, then circling her behind before gliding to her thighs.
“Spread them, Lise.”
She laughed.
“No way. You got all the goodies you gonna get for a while, Mister.”
He bent forward and kissed her nape, and she caught him making a face.
“Yuck, soap. Plus, you’re so full of yourself. I don’t wanna to do anything. I’m just washing you, massaging you…” The sponge gilded over her buttocks and toward her inner thighs.
“Yeah, right. I’ve been here before, Mike. Don’t play innocent with me…” Before her words had left her mouth, she realized the sweet tension returning to her body. Oh God, he had turned her into a total wanton creature. This was even worse than ever before. She could not possibly crave him again. Nor was she sure her body could handle him once more without being bedridden for a week. On second thought, the concept of having to be here, in his bed, unable to leave it, also sounded tempting.
Somehow, she was later uncertain how it had played out, she had ended up with her hands braced against the slippery, cool tiles, her ass toward him, his hands on her hips, as he made love to her from behind while their moans and screams were shrouded behind the protective coat of the steaming waterfall surrounding them.
Michael did finish washing her after the last interlude, and then lovingly wrapped her into a towel, carrying her to the bed. Before he placed her down, he gave her a little, cocky wink, making her eye him suspiciously. He burst out laughing. “What?”
“Don’t even think about it.”
“I’m just putting you down. You look a bit tired. You clearly lack conditioning.”
“You clearly lack self-control.”
Still laughing, he put her on the covers, using another towel he had brought in to fully dry her off. God, she felt drained, revived, pampered, and loved. And it would all end when she stepped back on that plane. It all had to end- whatever happened here had no chance of survival in the real world.
No, Lisa, stop it. You are still here. He is here. It’s only you and him.
And wifie makes three…
She took a deep breath, forcing the thoughts from her mind, aiming for a blissful state of emptiness.
Michael kissed her nose, and then finished drying himself off.
“Hey, how about I find us some food? I also have to make some calls.”
“Yeah, food sounds wonderful. I was wondering if you planned on keeping me in here without nourishment.”
“Excuse me? Last time I checked you had a full mouth during most of the night…”
“Cocks and tongues don’t count, dear.”
He blushed.
“You have such a potty mouth. And a nasty, dirty mind.”
“Yeah, I know, sorry…like that wicked glimmer in your eyes does not mean you had the exact same thought.”
“So? I didn’t say it.” He stuck his tongue out at her. He sure was in a playful mood.
“What happened to the food you ordered last night?”
He wrinkled his forehead. “Good question.” It’s probably outside. Unless Carlos and the guys have eaten it.”
“Ok, go get food, Jackson! I’m starving now.”
“How did I ever live without your bossy little ass?”
“You look too skinny- so obviously not too well.”
“I am not skinny. I am toned. I’m touring remember?”
Lisa looked up at him with great concern. Yeah, he was touring. And when he was, he punished his body, pushed himself to extreme levels that bordered on suicide. He gave his all- and at times, he had to be reminded that he had to take care of himself as that life sustaining self care was replaced by his burning desire to be the best, to give his best, to leave nothing of himself as he handed it all over to his art and his fans. Her constant competitors…
“Are you eating, Mike? Are you drinking?” Her face turned serious.
He pulled on a pair of silken pajama pants and a white t-shirt, pulling his hair back into a ponytail.
“I had lovely wine last night, thank you.”
She laughed. “Mike, you know what I mean.” Lisa scooted up on the bed, propping herself up on some pillows, watching him trying to stay evasive with his jokes.
Turning towards her, he sat on the bed once more. “Yes, baby. I am being really good, and I am eating and staying hydrated. Jeeze. I have fifty million people on my ass about this at all times. You know I don’t enjoy having to walk around with a syringe in.”
She grasped for his hand and he squeezed her fingers, playing with them as he interlaced his with hers.
“Ok, I know, I know. You do look thin, though, and I know your body can burn through a zillion calories right now. I want to make sure you are being taken care of.”
Now that it’s not my job anymore to do that for you.
“You’re very sweet. But really, don’t bother fussing. I got my docs and my staff and Debbie is also running behind me like a clucking little chicken…” He abruptly ended his sentence; probably having realized bringing up his wife right now was not the brightest of ideas.
Lisa looked down at their hands. The image was the most natural thing. His large, strong hand, interwoven with her petite small fingers. How right that looked. And how wrong it was.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Mike, I am so sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you.”
“Crap.” Michael leaned closer and kissed her on the mouth one more time, then got up from the bed. “Yeah, coming. What’s up Carlos?”
He went over to the door, reaching for the handle.
“Mike, don’t forget the food, please.” Lisa reminded him.
He turned and he blew her a kiss. “No, don’t worry. I know you get ravenous after working out.”
She shook her head, and tossed a pillow after him. He pulled the door shut, giggling, avoiding her missile, then stuck his head in one more time. “Hey, try not to miss me- I will be right back, k?”
“Food! Why are you still there?”
He laughed again, shutting the door behind him this time. Lisa’s smile faded and she sat there, biting her lip, unsure of what to do. Well, she probably should get dressed. Get on with her day, whatever that meant. Every move she made from this second on would leave a trail of timestamps bringing her closer to the inevitable point of no return: the time when she would have to leave him. Like a stone skipping across the smooth surface of a pond, each impact would bring her closer to either a hard landing on the other side, or to a plunge into bottomless depths.
What had she been thinking? How would the experiences of this night sustain her? How could they ever suffice to ward of the pain of knowing he was married to this other woman. He sure enough had acted like he loved her. He had made love to her with a passion, need, and a sense of desperation that she had never encountered before. Well, the passion and need part had always been present, but he seemed to be driven by something else. None of this mattered. He was not hers anymore. What was she doing here? Why was she kidding herself into believing that playing second fiddle would ever be good enough?
Maybe she should ask him what all of this meant. Was she just a convenient way to relieve sexual tension? Would they go back to trying to be friends now? Was that even within the realm of possibility? She worried that asking him would push him away. And right now, every instinct in her cried out to keep him as close as possible. However, could her frail condition afford keeping him close? He was married. He was about to be a father. The words alone were like slashes of a bullwhip. How would seeing the reality up close compare? How many slices of her own flesh could she offer up until her debt to fate was paid? How much pain could she inflict on herself to distract from the agony of not having him with her? Was distance the solution to letting the wounds heal? Or would another separation only serve to drive the knife in further?
Lisa, why they hell do you do this to yourself? You need to get the fuck up and leave before he comes back. Rip that damn band aid off in one swoop- stop being such a damn coward.
But if she left without seeing him once more, how could she collect yet another weapon to hold before her mind’s eye when she reminded herself of what she lost?
Lisa finally forced herself to get up and get dressed.
Shit! She needed to call the kids and check in. What time was it at home? She also needed to give Danny an idea of when she would return. He had asked her if she had lost her mind as it was. Still, he was the most reliable person to leave Riley and Ben with. Danny…yet another complication she was unwilling to deal with at the present. She had gotten lost one night after her divorce and ended up in bed with him again. Big fucking mistake. She had been too drunk to even remember what went on, but he seemed to have though it was some grand new beginning. Fat chance. When she had realized she had actually let him fuck her, she had rushed to the bathroom and vomited. After sinking to the floor in a sobbing, shaking mess, she sat there, rocking, her arms closed tightly around her, looking around for ways to make the torture inside her head and her body stop. And oh, the soothing methods you could find in a bathroom…where you have all the convenience of keeping everything nice, clean, and secret. Anyway, things had been strange between Danny and her ever since.
What the hell brought all this back on?
Ok, Lisa, the kids. Focus- call the kids.
“Are you eating, Mike? Are you drinking?” Her face turned serious.
He pulled on a pair of silken pajama pants and a white t-shirt, pulling his hair back into a ponytail.
“I had lovely wine last night, thank you.”
She laughed. “Mike, you know what I mean.” Lisa scooted up on the bed, propping herself up on some pillows, watching him trying to stay evasive with his jokes.
Turning towards her, he sat on the bed once more. “Yes, baby. I am being really good, and I am eating and staying hydrated. Jeeze. I have fifty million people on my ass about this at all times. You know I don’t enjoy having to walk around with a syringe in.”
She grasped for his hand and he squeezed her fingers, playing with them as he interlaced his with hers.
“Ok, I know, I know. You do look thin, though, and I know your body can burn through a zillion calories right now. I want to make sure you are being taken care of.”
Now that it’s not my job anymore to do that for you.
“You’re very sweet. But really, don’t bother fussing. I got my docs and my staff and Debbie is also running behind me like a clucking little chicken…” He abruptly ended his sentence; probably having realized bringing up his wife right now was not the brightest of ideas.
Lisa looked down at their hands. The image was the most natural thing. His large, strong hand, interwoven with her petite small fingers. How right that looked. And how wrong it was.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
“Mike, I am so sorry to interrupt, but I need to talk to you.”
“Crap.” Michael leaned closer and kissed her on the mouth one more time, then got up from the bed. “Yeah, coming. What’s up Carlos?”
He went over to the door, reaching for the handle.
“Mike, don’t forget the food, please.” Lisa reminded him.
He turned and he blew her a kiss. “No, don’t worry. I know you get ravenous after working out.”
She shook her head, and tossed a pillow after him. He pulled the door shut, giggling, avoiding her missile, then stuck his head in one more time. “Hey, try not to miss me- I will be right back, k?”
“Food! Why are you still there?”
He laughed again, shutting the door behind him this time. Lisa’s smile faded and she sat there, biting her lip, unsure of what to do. Well, she probably should get dressed. Get on with her day, whatever that meant. Every move she made from this second on would leave a trail of timestamps bringing her closer to the inevitable point of no return: the time when she would have to leave him. Like a stone skipping across the smooth surface of a pond, each impact would bring her closer to either a hard landing on the other side, or to a plunge into bottomless depths.
What had she been thinking? How would the experiences of this night sustain her? How could they ever suffice to ward of the pain of knowing he was married to this other woman. He sure enough had acted like he loved her. He had made love to her with a passion, need, and a sense of desperation that she had never encountered before. Well, the passion and need part had always been present, but he seemed to be driven by something else. None of this mattered. He was not hers anymore. What was she doing here? Why was she kidding herself into believing that playing second fiddle would ever be good enough?
Maybe she should ask him what all of this meant. Was she just a convenient way to relieve sexual tension? Would they go back to trying to be friends now? Was that even within the realm of possibility? She worried that asking him would push him away. And right now, every instinct in her cried out to keep him as close as possible. However, could her frail condition afford keeping him close? He was married. He was about to be a father. The words alone were like slashes of a bullwhip. How would seeing the reality up close compare? How many slices of her own flesh could she offer up until her debt to fate was paid? How much pain could she inflict on herself to distract from the agony of not having him with her? Was distance the solution to letting the wounds heal? Or would another separation only serve to drive the knife in further?
Lisa, why they hell do you do this to yourself? You need to get the fuck up and leave before he comes back. Rip that damn band aid off in one swoop- stop being such a damn coward.
But if she left without seeing him once more, how could she collect yet another weapon to hold before her mind’s eye when she reminded herself of what she lost?
Lisa finally forced herself to get up and get dressed.
Shit! She needed to call the kids and check in. What time was it at home? She also needed to give Danny an idea of when she would return. He had asked her if she had lost her mind as it was. Still, he was the most reliable person to leave Riley and Ben with. Danny…yet another complication she was unwilling to deal with at the present. She had gotten lost one night after her divorce and ended up in bed with him again. Big fucking mistake. She had been too drunk to even remember what went on, but he seemed to have though it was some grand new beginning. Fat chance. When she had realized she had actually let him fuck her, she had rushed to the bathroom and vomited. After sinking to the floor in a sobbing, shaking mess, she sat there, rocking, her arms closed tightly around her, looking around for ways to make the torture inside her head and her body stop. And oh, the soothing methods you could find in a bathroom…where you have all the convenience of keeping everything nice, clean, and secret. Anyway, things had been strange between Danny and her ever since.
What the hell brought all this back on?
Ok, Lisa, the kids. Focus- call the kids.
Looking around for her purse, she realized it was in the other room. Part of her was very hesitant about going out there, knowing that Carlos would be there with Michael. Really, what was the big deal? Carlos was well aware of her presence. She had talked to him yesterday briefly. In the past she had never had a second thought about entering a room. In the past she had been the wife. Not the little woman on the side. Would he look at her differently now? Would the security team sneer and laugh, elbowing each other after she walked by? For sure they would high-five Michael for being such a stud, while they probably felt sorry for her. How come women were not congratulated when they screw someone on the side? And the most important question: why they hell did she give a flying fuck about any of this.
Well, she didn’t. If she wanted to strut right out there into that room she would. Only, she preferred to stay put. There!
She picked up the receiver of the hotel phone and almost hung up, hearing voices, before freezing in mid motion.
It was Michael’s voice. And that of his dear wife. Great.
“Why can’t I come over now?”
God, she was such a whiney bitch.
You can’t come over ‘cause wife number one is in his bedroom.
“Debbie. I just told you. I am busy. You would be bored.”
And you would be in the way.
“No, I wouldn’t. I could help out.”
Oh, no believe me, there is nothing you can help out with here with. You have done all the helping you ever need to do. We are just fine without you.
“Really, that is so nice of you, but let’s just stick to the plan. You know I get all rattled when plans change too much.”
“Ok, then, so I am still going with you today, right?”
Great. Seems like the lovely couple had plans.
“Of course. I told you.”
Lisa almost laughed at Michael’s apparent lack of enthusiasm. Her hand came to rest over her mouth before she could suppress all sounds and she froze. Shit.
“Is there someone in the line, Michael?”
“Ahhh, no.”
“I heard something.”
“Hotel phones. They’re weird.”
Fucking hell.
Lisa quietly placed the receiver down and jumped back on the bed, turning on the tv.
Minutes later Michael stuck his head back in. He sauntered over to the bed, where Lisa pretended to be absorbed in whatever was on tv.
“Bob the Builder?” Michael sat next to her.
“Who knew they have him here, too. I thought I’d check it out so I can report back to the kids.”
“Did you miss me?” He scooted closer, kissing her lips, then tracing a path to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe.
“Michael. Stop distracting me. I can’t watch. It’s getting good.”
“I bet it is…” He moved on to place an openmouthed kiss on her neck.
She squealed and he laughed, falling back into the pillows.
“So, you’ve been keeping busy with Bob the Builder?”
“Yep.”
“Ok, Lise, give it up. I know you were on the phone.”
“What phone?”
He giggled.
“You know what phone. I heard you!”
She turned the tv off and faced him. “Ok, fine, I was. I didn’t mean to listen in. I wanted to call the kids.”
“Hey, it’s fine, you don’t have to explain. I figured it was something like that. Did you call them yet?”
“No, I didn’t want to interrupt you little flirting with the Missus.”
“Very funny.” He looked utterly un-amused.
“Is Carlos still out there?”
“No, why?”
“I didn’t want to interrupt but need to get my purse. To get my phone,” she clarified.
Michael looked at her, trying to read her face, reaching for her hands.
“Lise, what’s going on? Why didn’t you just come on out after you got dressed?”
Nervously she bit her lip, trying not to give him too much an insight into her messed up thought processes. “I don’t know. I felt weird.”
“Weird?” His eyes narrowed. He seemed to have no clue what she was talking about. “Are you unwell?”
Physically, no…
“Oh come on, Mike. You think your staff doesn’t know we were not playing monopoly in here last night?”
His eyes widened and he blushed slightly. “Oh…yeah. Well, but, so what? They have been around. They know…about us…I mean, about…you know.” Obviously not liking how he had become flustered, his shoulders squared. “And anyway, what I do is my business.”
“Well, yeah, of course it is.”
“You’re acting weird, Lisa.”
“I told you, I’m feeling weird. This is so odd. The scenario is so familiar, but it is a whole different rule book.”
“What’s so different? You are here with me. Where you should be. That’s all that counts.”
A sad laughter escaped her. If only it was this simple.
She picked up the receiver of the hotel phone and almost hung up, hearing voices, before freezing in mid motion.
It was Michael’s voice. And that of his dear wife. Great.
“Why can’t I come over now?”
God, she was such a whiney bitch.
You can’t come over ‘cause wife number one is in his bedroom.
“Debbie. I just told you. I am busy. You would be bored.”
And you would be in the way.
“No, I wouldn’t. I could help out.”
Oh, no believe me, there is nothing you can help out with here with. You have done all the helping you ever need to do. We are just fine without you.
“Really, that is so nice of you, but let’s just stick to the plan. You know I get all rattled when plans change too much.”
“Ok, then, so I am still going with you today, right?”
Great. Seems like the lovely couple had plans.
“Of course. I told you.”
Lisa almost laughed at Michael’s apparent lack of enthusiasm. Her hand came to rest over her mouth before she could suppress all sounds and she froze. Shit.
“Is there someone in the line, Michael?”
“Ahhh, no.”
“I heard something.”
“Hotel phones. They’re weird.”
Fucking hell.
Lisa quietly placed the receiver down and jumped back on the bed, turning on the tv.
Minutes later Michael stuck his head back in. He sauntered over to the bed, where Lisa pretended to be absorbed in whatever was on tv.
“Bob the Builder?” Michael sat next to her.
“Who knew they have him here, too. I thought I’d check it out so I can report back to the kids.”
“Did you miss me?” He scooted closer, kissing her lips, then tracing a path to her ear, nibbling on her earlobe.
“Michael. Stop distracting me. I can’t watch. It’s getting good.”
“I bet it is…” He moved on to place an openmouthed kiss on her neck.
She squealed and he laughed, falling back into the pillows.
“So, you’ve been keeping busy with Bob the Builder?”
“Yep.”
“Ok, Lise, give it up. I know you were on the phone.”
“What phone?”
He giggled.
“You know what phone. I heard you!”
She turned the tv off and faced him. “Ok, fine, I was. I didn’t mean to listen in. I wanted to call the kids.”
“Hey, it’s fine, you don’t have to explain. I figured it was something like that. Did you call them yet?”
“No, I didn’t want to interrupt you little flirting with the Missus.”
“Very funny.” He looked utterly un-amused.
“Is Carlos still out there?”
“No, why?”
“I didn’t want to interrupt but need to get my purse. To get my phone,” she clarified.
Michael looked at her, trying to read her face, reaching for her hands.
“Lise, what’s going on? Why didn’t you just come on out after you got dressed?”
Nervously she bit her lip, trying not to give him too much an insight into her messed up thought processes. “I don’t know. I felt weird.”
“Weird?” His eyes narrowed. He seemed to have no clue what she was talking about. “Are you unwell?”
Physically, no…
“Oh come on, Mike. You think your staff doesn’t know we were not playing monopoly in here last night?”
His eyes widened and he blushed slightly. “Oh…yeah. Well, but, so what? They have been around. They know…about us…I mean, about…you know.” Obviously not liking how he had become flustered, his shoulders squared. “And anyway, what I do is my business.”
“Well, yeah, of course it is.”
“You’re acting weird, Lisa.”
“I told you, I’m feeling weird. This is so odd. The scenario is so familiar, but it is a whole different rule book.”
“What’s so different? You are here with me. Where you should be. That’s all that counts.”
A sad laughter escaped her. If only it was this simple.
“Should I be? I don’t know, Mike. Seems like you just told your wife you would have plans later. Doesn’t sound like I should be here at all. Three’s a crowd. At least in this scenario.”
He raised an eyebrow, gifting her with a dirty smile and a wink, making her laugh out loud. She pushed him and he fell backwards, laughing.
“You are such a MAN! A dirty, perverted little, feak!”
He kept laughing and pulled her down to him, so she landed across his chest.
“Stop calling me little! You force me to prove you otherwise, and then you whine about not being able to move.”
He pulled her up closer and she willingly met his mouth, letting his tongue distract her from feeling out of place and insecure. One touch, one sigh, one taste could make it all right.
She ended the kiss and lay her head on his chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heart.
“So, you have plans?”
The chest lifted as a deep sight went through him.
“Yeah, we have to attend the premiere of Gosts here. Look, why don’t you come? I can have you there in a separate car. No one would know you’re there.”
She had to laugh. Talk about magical thinking.
No one would know. They could hide their dirty little secret away nicely. Was this a preview of her future?
“No, you go. I gotta get ready to leave.”
“Leave?” He sat up suddenly, his arms in her shoulders, his eyes burning a smoldering path to her soul.
“You’re not leaving.” Seemed that he was not even considering that option.
Blue eyes widened and held his heated gaze. What happens when ice cubes fall into hot chocolate? Who comes out unchanged and who morphes into another state, becoming part of another entity?
“Of course, I gotta leave.”
“Well, yeah, at some point. Don’t go yet… I need you.”
“How long do I stay here till you’re done needing me? How long? How do I get on with my life while being here?”
His eyes narrowed, and she thought she saw a flash of pain.
“Move on? What the hell are you talking about? You’re here. With me. You made a choice.”
She could not comprehend what all this was about. What did he think this was? An interlude? A new beginning? If he did not know if this was the introduction or the epilogue to their story, how could she figure it out?
“I came to help you get through yesterday. It’s done. You seem better. I distracted you for a bit. You have plans tonight- your life is going on. I have kids, Mike. I gotta go home.”
He pulled back a bit, still holding onto her.
“I know you got the kids. Distracted me? Is that what it was to you? A distraction? And now you are heading back? You’re leaving me again?”
“Leaving you? You’re married, remember? Please don’t make us go over all that again.”
“Fine, whatever.” This time he swung his legs over the side of the bed and turned away from her. He had shut down. Great.
They sat there in silence for a while. Finally Michael rose and walked toward the other room. He stopped at the door.
“Hey, the food should be here now. You still wanna eat, right?” He walked into the front room.
Lisa’s legs felt like lead when she finally rose and followed him. He had opened the door, pulling in a tray of food. She quietly retrieved her cell and left a message with Danny. Michael pretended to not listen while he played with his salad, making neat piles of tomatoes, cucumber, carrots…
When she hung up she joined him at the little table.
“The kids are staying with Danny?”
“Yeah.” Not hungry at all, but not feeling like revisiting that risky topic, she forced herself to eat a fork full of salad.
“They ok?”
“I guess. I only got his voicemail.”
“Yeah… So.. you and he hang out much?”
She tried to act natural, but could not hold eye contact. What the hell did she feel guilty about? Michael and her had been over when her drunken mistake happened. It’s not like she went out of her way to marry someone and start making babies.
“Not much. You know, just for the kids.”
He put his fork down and she felt his eyes on her, studying her like an insect under the microscope. Finally, he reached for his water, then suddenly changed the topic. His perceptiveness scared her, and she knew he always tried to read her, to stay a step ahead.
“So, will you stay?”
“How long, Michael?” She put down her fork and stared back at him, grateful to be on more solid grounds again.
“Till tomorrow at least? I have a show. I want you to be there.”
“What? I’m your groupie now?” She shot him a little smile. This whole lunch felt so odd and awkward.
“If you wanna be.”
She could not tell if he was joking or serious.
He pulled her up closer and she willingly met his mouth, letting his tongue distract her from feeling out of place and insecure. One touch, one sigh, one taste could make it all right.
She ended the kiss and lay her head on his chest, listening to the comforting rhythm of his heart.
“So, you have plans?”
The chest lifted as a deep sight went through him.
“Yeah, we have to attend the premiere of Gosts here. Look, why don’t you come? I can have you there in a separate car. No one would know you’re there.”
She had to laugh. Talk about magical thinking.
No one would know. They could hide their dirty little secret away nicely. Was this a preview of her future?
“No, you go. I gotta get ready to leave.”
“Leave?” He sat up suddenly, his arms in her shoulders, his eyes burning a smoldering path to her soul.
“You’re not leaving.” Seemed that he was not even considering that option.
Blue eyes widened and held his heated gaze. What happens when ice cubes fall into hot chocolate? Who comes out unchanged and who morphes into another state, becoming part of another entity?
“Of course, I gotta leave.”
“Well, yeah, at some point. Don’t go yet… I need you.”
“How long do I stay here till you’re done needing me? How long? How do I get on with my life while being here?”
His eyes narrowed, and she thought she saw a flash of pain.
“Move on? What the hell are you talking about? You’re here. With me. You made a choice.”
She could not comprehend what all this was about. What did he think this was? An interlude? A new beginning? If he did not know if this was the introduction or the epilogue to their story, how could she figure it out?
“I came to help you get through yesterday. It’s done. You seem better. I distracted you for a bit. You have plans tonight- your life is going on. I have kids, Mike. I gotta go home.”
He pulled back a bit, still holding onto her.
“I know you got the kids. Distracted me? Is that what it was to you? A distraction? And now you are heading back? You’re leaving me again?”
“Leaving you? You’re married, remember? Please don’t make us go over all that again.”
“Fine, whatever.” This time he swung his legs over the side of the bed and turned away from her. He had shut down. Great.
They sat there in silence for a while. Finally Michael rose and walked toward the other room. He stopped at the door.
“Hey, the food should be here now. You still wanna eat, right?” He walked into the front room.
Lisa’s legs felt like lead when she finally rose and followed him. He had opened the door, pulling in a tray of food. She quietly retrieved her cell and left a message with Danny. Michael pretended to not listen while he played with his salad, making neat piles of tomatoes, cucumber, carrots…
When she hung up she joined him at the little table.
“The kids are staying with Danny?”
“Yeah.” Not hungry at all, but not feeling like revisiting that risky topic, she forced herself to eat a fork full of salad.
“They ok?”
“I guess. I only got his voicemail.”
“Yeah… So.. you and he hang out much?”
She tried to act natural, but could not hold eye contact. What the hell did she feel guilty about? Michael and her had been over when her drunken mistake happened. It’s not like she went out of her way to marry someone and start making babies.
“Not much. You know, just for the kids.”
He put his fork down and she felt his eyes on her, studying her like an insect under the microscope. Finally, he reached for his water, then suddenly changed the topic. His perceptiveness scared her, and she knew he always tried to read her, to stay a step ahead.
“So, will you stay?”
“How long, Michael?” She put down her fork and stared back at him, grateful to be on more solid grounds again.
“Till tomorrow at least? I have a show. I want you to be there.”
“What? I’m your groupie now?” She shot him a little smile. This whole lunch felt so odd and awkward.
“If you wanna be.”
She could not tell if he was joking or serious.
He rose from his chair and came around to her, crouching down before her, gazing up at her. His expression was so intense.
“Seriously, I don’t’ want you to do anything you are not comfortable with. But I told you I wanted you in my life. I know we said as friends, but well….uh…I guess now it’s a bit different. I need you Lisa. I can’t make it without you. I feel lost and I am not sure how to get out of this.”
Nervously, she played with her water glass. “Michael…I…”
She was saved from an answer by a sudden commotion at the door. Carlos stuck his head in, looking flushed.
“Mike, I’m sorry, we tried to stop her…”
“What? Who?”
Michael stared up at Lisa, then back at the door.
“Stop apologizing, Carlos, what is he hiding in there that I can’t see?”
Lisa almost dropped the glass she had in her hand and Michael shot to his feet as if stung by a bee.
The woman who just shoved Carlos to the side stopped cold and stared first at Lisa, then Michael.
“And what the hell is going on here? I guess my invitation to lunch got lost in the mail.”
Michael cleared his throat. “Debbie, you remember Lisa, right?”
“Mike, I’m sorry, we tried to stop her…”
“What? Who?”
Michael stared up at Lisa, then back at the door.
“Stop apologizing, Carlos, what is he hiding in there that I can’t see?”
Lisa almost dropped the glass she had in her hand and Michael shot to his feet as if stung by a bee.
The woman who just shoved Carlos to the side stopped cold and stared first at Lisa, then Michael.
“And what the hell is going on here? I guess my invitation to lunch got lost in the mail.”
Michael cleared his throat. “Debbie, you remember Lisa, right?”
8
Michael was really glad he had not put anything substantial into his mouth as he would have either spat it out or have choked. Had that happened, he was pretty sure Lisa and Debbie would just go at each other while letting him suffocate on the floor.
He shot an accusatory look at Carlos who appeared to be close to fainting.
“MJ, we really tried, but she was quicker.”
Michael looked down and shook his head in frustration. She was a pregnant lady. How in the world did she overpower his highly paid security team? How quick could she be? It was just ridiculous. He would deal with them later. One frigging crisis at a time.
Lisa stared at Debbie, then back at him. He shrugged his shoulders, indicating he had no idea how in the world she had materialized like some unwelcome genie.
Debbie seemed the only one in the room having any fun. She was grinning her Cheshire cat smile while chuckling at his little introductory comment. Admittedly, it had been pretty asinine, but hey, it was not like he had been given the luxury of time to come up with another more appropriate icebreaker.
What had happened? How did things spin out of control this quickly? The day was heading downhill at neck breaking speed. And this was one adrenaline rush he neither wanted nor needed.
Things had been truly magical this past night. Why did he always seem to have to pay for whatever scrap of happiness he had struggled for? He was flying on an incredible high after he woke up. Having been with Lisa again opened up all those floodgates and he was happily drowning in the resulting emotional vortex. She was his once again. He had not lost her after all. All he had to do was to play it smart and to not let her control his every thought like she had in the past. It was difficult: his heart had started to cry out for her when she had had lain there like an angel: peaceful, relaxed. Then she had awoken and proven that she was a little devil who can stir him to crazy levels of arousal with one look, one touch, or one word. No one should have this much power over another human being.
The urgency to have her again and again had been more forceful than he had ever experienced before. He felt their recent love-making possessed an added edge that had not been there before: he felt this crazy urge to prove with every kiss, with very thrust that he could touch her, move her, and affect her more than any other man she had ever been with. She was his woman again, and he intended to keep reminding her of that fact. No legal paper, no contract, no ring was needed to enforce his claim on her. All he had to do was to show her what she would never have with anyone else. And to hide that she was the only woman he could see himself with until the end of his days. He might want her and even love her, but he could not trust her.
Carlos’ earlier intrusion had put a small damper on his ecstasy with the information that Debbie had been trying to get a hold of him and had gotten angrier each time his staff told her that he was not available. Seemed she had this idea that she should have unlimited access just because they were legally married now. It probably was not a bad idea to sit down with her and once again lay out the boundaries of their relationship: they were friends, and she was his surrogate. The fact that she was also his wife was a fairy tale constructed for others. Just another part of the act; an illusion, he meant to keep separate from the carefully guarded reality of his privacy. All his life, he had struggled to manage this dual existence: Michael Jackson, the miracle child, the consummate performer, the product. And Michael, the prankster, the lonely teen, the love-struck young man, the disillusioned fool, the married man, the lover…and soon, the father.
At times, boundaries bled into one another and he himself had some difficulty figuring out which world he operated in. Lisa had likewise struggled with this concept, and had not always been able to separate their reality from the magic trick. And he was damned if Debbie started to get confused, too.
The day had gotten weirder when Lisa had started to act funny, too. Was the moon affecting all the women in his life today? Suddenly, she seemed to harbor scruples about being seen as ‘the other woman.’ What did that even mean? No other woman could ever rival what he had felt for her--still continued to feel for her; the places she opened up for him; the mysteries she had initiated him to.
Why the sudden modesty? His staff knew her. They had pulled some crazy stunts together. Known for being shy, he had never been too insecure or scared to show his friends and staff exactly how much he loved her, how much he wanted to touch her, kiss her, and love her. Why would that change now? So, what if she was in his room and in his bed- that was nobody’s business but theirs. It was odd that she acted like she was embarrassed to be with him.
Next came the odd interchange about Danny. His sensors had gone on red alert when Lisa became evasive and short. Michael did not trust Danny- not one bit. He had been a constant irritation during his marriage to Lisa. Sure, he was the father of her children, but so what? Did he have to hang around all the time? Visiting the kids was one thing, staying on their property on and off while throwing goo-goo eyes at Lisa was another. Michael was also pretty sure that Danny still harbored some resentment about how he had lost Lisa. Therefore, thinking about what Lisa might have done to get back at any perceived injustices after she filed for divorce from him did not give Michael warm and fuzzy feelings. But maybe, he was just insecure. Possibly, Lisa was right about lingering paranoid thoughts. Really, he did not have to worry about that now. He’d deal with that later. For now, her behavior just went into the “Danny-file” in his mind, which took up great room in the palace of his fears.
And just when things had looked up and he was starting to believe Lisa would actually consent to staying here for a while without another fight, Debbie had walked in. Talk about crappy timing.
“So, cat got y’all tongue? And yes, of course, I remember Lisa, Michael. What an odd thing to ask.” Not as odd as acting as if they were all buddies here, but ok…
Lisa rose. “Michael, why don’t I wait for you…” Then she stopped in mid-sentence, probably realizing that she had nowhere else to run to unless she let on they had been in his room all night.
“Don’t let me make you run for your room, Lisa. We are all old friends here, right? - Michael will you offer me a chair?”
Oh good, Debbie assumed that Lisa had a room here. Or did she? He eyed her with suspicion. What was that last comment? Friends? Lisa and Debbie? Since when? Oh, this was getting interesting.
“Are you staying? I though we said we would meet up later and I’d pick you up.” Forgetting his manners on purpose, he was not about to get her comfy in a chair. She had wanted to barge in- she could stand until she was ready to leave.
Debbie walked over to him and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek before he could twist his head.
What the hell?
His eyes darted to Lisa who had her ice-mask in place, while her eyes for one second showed anger and…pain. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as his chest constricted.
“Debbie, please.” His efforts to gently push her away were met by her clutching him tighter, resting her head on his chest.
“What, love? I am sure Lisa understands. We are on our honeymoon, after all.”
“Which explains why you were in Michael’s bed last night.” Lisa finally spoke up. And he really wished she had instead chosen to express her well-wishes or something like that. Ok, wishful thinking. The gloves were off.
Michael was no stranger to the deep anger coloration of her husky and deep voice.
“And what would you know about who was in my husband’s bed, Lisa?” Debbie glared at her, her voice rising half an octave.
“I probably know at least as much about it as you.” Lisa glared at the new Mrs. Jackson with a clear challenge in her eyes. He better jump in for some damage control before Lisa said something he would have to pay the price for.
The day had gotten weirder when Lisa had started to act funny, too. Was the moon affecting all the women in his life today? Suddenly, she seemed to harbor scruples about being seen as ‘the other woman.’ What did that even mean? No other woman could ever rival what he had felt for her--still continued to feel for her; the places she opened up for him; the mysteries she had initiated him to.
Why the sudden modesty? His staff knew her. They had pulled some crazy stunts together. Known for being shy, he had never been too insecure or scared to show his friends and staff exactly how much he loved her, how much he wanted to touch her, kiss her, and love her. Why would that change now? So, what if she was in his room and in his bed- that was nobody’s business but theirs. It was odd that she acted like she was embarrassed to be with him.
Next came the odd interchange about Danny. His sensors had gone on red alert when Lisa became evasive and short. Michael did not trust Danny- not one bit. He had been a constant irritation during his marriage to Lisa. Sure, he was the father of her children, but so what? Did he have to hang around all the time? Visiting the kids was one thing, staying on their property on and off while throwing goo-goo eyes at Lisa was another. Michael was also pretty sure that Danny still harbored some resentment about how he had lost Lisa. Therefore, thinking about what Lisa might have done to get back at any perceived injustices after she filed for divorce from him did not give Michael warm and fuzzy feelings. But maybe, he was just insecure. Possibly, Lisa was right about lingering paranoid thoughts. Really, he did not have to worry about that now. He’d deal with that later. For now, her behavior just went into the “Danny-file” in his mind, which took up great room in the palace of his fears.
And just when things had looked up and he was starting to believe Lisa would actually consent to staying here for a while without another fight, Debbie had walked in. Talk about crappy timing.
“So, cat got y’all tongue? And yes, of course, I remember Lisa, Michael. What an odd thing to ask.” Not as odd as acting as if they were all buddies here, but ok…
Lisa rose. “Michael, why don’t I wait for you…” Then she stopped in mid-sentence, probably realizing that she had nowhere else to run to unless she let on they had been in his room all night.
“Don’t let me make you run for your room, Lisa. We are all old friends here, right? - Michael will you offer me a chair?”
Oh good, Debbie assumed that Lisa had a room here. Or did she? He eyed her with suspicion. What was that last comment? Friends? Lisa and Debbie? Since when? Oh, this was getting interesting.
“Are you staying? I though we said we would meet up later and I’d pick you up.” Forgetting his manners on purpose, he was not about to get her comfy in a chair. She had wanted to barge in- she could stand until she was ready to leave.
Debbie walked over to him and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek before he could twist his head.
What the hell?
His eyes darted to Lisa who had her ice-mask in place, while her eyes for one second showed anger and…pain. The air seemed to be sucked out of the room as his chest constricted.
“Debbie, please.” His efforts to gently push her away were met by her clutching him tighter, resting her head on his chest.
“What, love? I am sure Lisa understands. We are on our honeymoon, after all.”
“Which explains why you were in Michael’s bed last night.” Lisa finally spoke up. And he really wished she had instead chosen to express her well-wishes or something like that. Ok, wishful thinking. The gloves were off.
Michael was no stranger to the deep anger coloration of her husky and deep voice.
“And what would you know about who was in my husband’s bed, Lisa?” Debbie glared at her, her voice rising half an octave.
“I probably know at least as much about it as you.” Lisa glared at the new Mrs. Jackson with a clear challenge in her eyes. He better jump in for some damage control before Lisa said something he would have to pay the price for.
“Ah…Lisa means, she came by last night before going back to her hotel and she was wondering where you were. I mean, she knew you and I just got…you know… So anyway, she wanted to congratulate us.” He realized it was probably a futile attempt to make this look like anything other than what it in all reality was, but he thought he’d give it a shot. Really, he hated lying, but maybe it was just a little white lie: Lisa had asked about Debbie last night. So that part was true. And she had come by. Also a true statement.
“Yeah, about that, Lisa. What brings you to this continent? Were you in the neighborhood?”
“I am always there when my friends need me, Debbie. Just like you.” Lisa’s voice was sarcastic enough to ensure Debbie knew they were more than friends. Maybe she could manage to be just a little more circumspect here?
“You must have gotten lost after you flew in to help out a friend. Because, if you mean my hubby here, he is just fine.” To emphasize her point, she reached up and pinched his cheek. She really needed to stop touching him.
“What’s wrong, Deb? You don’t like your husband having female friends? Are you that insecure? I seem to remember when you had no problems when you hung out with my husband.”
Michael started to feel like a ragdoll in a tug of war.
“No, Lisa-Marie. I am not insecure at all. I have no reason to be.” Her hand came to rest on her belly. “None at all. I have all I need to be as secure as possible.”
Michael bit his lip and swallowed the rising bile. This situation did nothing to soothe his nerves. It had to end now. Looking over at Lisa, he noticed her pallor as her gaze was transfixed to Debbie’s hand over his baby.
“Lise?” He stepped away from Debbie and walked over to Lisa, putting his hand on her shoulder, attempting to get her attention. “Hey, Lise, can I talk to you real quick about the …eh…project we had been discussing before Debbie got here?”
“Really, Mike, you can talk in front of me. Married folks shouldn’t have any secrets.” Debbie looked none too thrilled. She probably didn’t like him touching Lisa, but after her low-blow he didn’t really care.
Thinking of Debbie: what was up with her? Mike? Married folks? Hopefully, Debbie had not been drinking.
“Funny, how you were really great about encouraging Michael to keep secrets from me, Deb.” Lisa shot back, obviously finding it more thrilling to continue her pissing match with Debbie than to talk to him.
“Lisa…I really need to talk to you.” His grip on her shoulder intensified and he detected a movement that could have been interpreted as her shrugging him off. Only, he was not willing to accept that interpretation at all.
“Well, if you had been any kind of real woman you would not have driven your man to keep secrets. But then again, you were probably too busy keeping secrets of your own, hmm, Lisa-Marie?”
“And if you were any kind of real wife you would have been here in your husband’s bed last night. But since you’re nothing but a fake player in a fake marriage he was here instead with…”
“Lisa! Debbie! Can you both shut up for just a second!” He shouted and they finally turned toward him. Feeling hot and flustered, he added in a slightly lower tone, “Please.”
“Michael, are you just going to stand here and let this spoiled little girl insult your wife? Do your child and I mean so little to you? I mean, the ink is not even dry on the certificate and …” Debbie sniffled and tried to squeeze out a tear. Michael felt like rolling his eyes at her dramatics, but instead put on his poker face.
“I think you are both out of line, here. Lisa, I really need to talk to you.” Lisa had turned toward him and he stared at her, trying to reach her through the glaze of intense anger he saw in her eyes. “Now, please.”
Lisa took a breath and her eyes narrowed. She blinked and started to rise. “Sure, whatever. I’m done here. Maybe I should just get out of here. I seem to be in the way.”
“Now there’s a thought. Great idea.” Debbie huffed under her breath.
Michael felt panic rise as his heart beat in his throat. No, she could not leave. Not angry like this, not after all the progress they had made. He simply could not deal with being without her right now. Of course, he realized he could not very well keep her around as some sort of security blanket, but they still had to get some things straight before he’d let her fly back home. She was here on his terms and she would leave when he was damn good and ready to see her go.
His hand still on her shoulder, he followed Lisa toward the bedroom.
“Good thing I know my husband at least has morals, as otherwise I would be worried about you knowing where his bedroom is, Lisa. Hey, Mike, can I have your salad?”
Michael felt Lisa stiffen as she stopped. Once more they both turned toward Debbie who had started to sample his left-overs. Great- maybe her mouth would be too full soon to make more of a nuisance of herself.
Michael started to feel like a ragdoll in a tug of war.
“No, Lisa-Marie. I am not insecure at all. I have no reason to be.” Her hand came to rest on her belly. “None at all. I have all I need to be as secure as possible.”
Michael bit his lip and swallowed the rising bile. This situation did nothing to soothe his nerves. It had to end now. Looking over at Lisa, he noticed her pallor as her gaze was transfixed to Debbie’s hand over his baby.
“Lise?” He stepped away from Debbie and walked over to Lisa, putting his hand on her shoulder, attempting to get her attention. “Hey, Lise, can I talk to you real quick about the …eh…project we had been discussing before Debbie got here?”
“Really, Mike, you can talk in front of me. Married folks shouldn’t have any secrets.” Debbie looked none too thrilled. She probably didn’t like him touching Lisa, but after her low-blow he didn’t really care.
Thinking of Debbie: what was up with her? Mike? Married folks? Hopefully, Debbie had not been drinking.
“Funny, how you were really great about encouraging Michael to keep secrets from me, Deb.” Lisa shot back, obviously finding it more thrilling to continue her pissing match with Debbie than to talk to him.
“Lisa…I really need to talk to you.” His grip on her shoulder intensified and he detected a movement that could have been interpreted as her shrugging him off. Only, he was not willing to accept that interpretation at all.
“Well, if you had been any kind of real woman you would not have driven your man to keep secrets. But then again, you were probably too busy keeping secrets of your own, hmm, Lisa-Marie?”
“And if you were any kind of real wife you would have been here in your husband’s bed last night. But since you’re nothing but a fake player in a fake marriage he was here instead with…”
“Lisa! Debbie! Can you both shut up for just a second!” He shouted and they finally turned toward him. Feeling hot and flustered, he added in a slightly lower tone, “Please.”
“Michael, are you just going to stand here and let this spoiled little girl insult your wife? Do your child and I mean so little to you? I mean, the ink is not even dry on the certificate and …” Debbie sniffled and tried to squeeze out a tear. Michael felt like rolling his eyes at her dramatics, but instead put on his poker face.
“I think you are both out of line, here. Lisa, I really need to talk to you.” Lisa had turned toward him and he stared at her, trying to reach her through the glaze of intense anger he saw in her eyes. “Now, please.”
Lisa took a breath and her eyes narrowed. She blinked and started to rise. “Sure, whatever. I’m done here. Maybe I should just get out of here. I seem to be in the way.”
“Now there’s a thought. Great idea.” Debbie huffed under her breath.
Michael felt panic rise as his heart beat in his throat. No, she could not leave. Not angry like this, not after all the progress they had made. He simply could not deal with being without her right now. Of course, he realized he could not very well keep her around as some sort of security blanket, but they still had to get some things straight before he’d let her fly back home. She was here on his terms and she would leave when he was damn good and ready to see her go.
His hand still on her shoulder, he followed Lisa toward the bedroom.
“Good thing I know my husband at least has morals, as otherwise I would be worried about you knowing where his bedroom is, Lisa. Hey, Mike, can I have your salad?”
Michael felt Lisa stiffen as she stopped. Once more they both turned toward Debbie who had started to sample his left-overs. Great- maybe her mouth would be too full soon to make more of a nuisance of herself.
Before he could answer and right as he thought Lisa was going to let Debbie’s last comment slide, Lisa stared back at Debbie, and he followed her eyes, noticing they rested on Debbie’s left hand.
“Nice ring, Deb. Nice to see you and Michael kept it nice and simple, given the circumstances.”
With that, she stormed off into the bedroom ahead of him, tossing her hair behind her. He half expected her to slam the door in his face.
“Michael? How dare she? What is she saying? What…?” Debbie glowered at him, and this time her tears seemed real. Michael knew exactly what Lisa was referring to. Her acerbic comment served to remind him of the ring he had gifted her with- the symbol of their union. In comparison, Debbie’s ring was indeed very simple. He already felt like the biggest fake alive during the ceremony, waiting for lightening to strike him dead, he was not about to seal his fate by showering Debbie with outlandish jewelry. Especially not one that signified an eternal, never-ending connection. He also had refused a ring for himself, explaining to her that he did not care to wear one as he found it distracting.
“Don’t worry about it, Debbie. Please, why don’t you go ahead and wait for me in the other suite I reserved for you? Carlos can take you down there, it’s one floor lower.”
“You really don’t want me around, do you? You would rather spend time with Lisa. Lisa- the person who has hurt you so much in the past, Michael. Lisa, the person who lied to you and made you cry. Why is she even here? I really don’t understand this at all.”
“I think she was here on some business for Presley Enterprises. Anyway….look. We are friends now, that’s it. And we have some business ventures to discuss. Nothing to concern yourself with, I promise. I’ll see you later at the premiere. Carlos…”
He looked over at his body guard who had pretended to study the artwork in the hall by the door but jumped to attention despite Michael’s soft tone.
“Please take Miss Rowe to the suite downstairs and make sure she stays there to get ready.” His eyes added that Debbie better stay put or Carlos and the rest of his team would have to find an alternate plane ride as well as a new job.
Carlos nodded, assuring him without words that the message was received. “Sure thing, MJ. Come on, Miss Rowe, I will make sure you get there ok.”
“It’s Mrs. Jackson, Carlos. Michael, why don’t I just wait ‘til you are ready to leave here? I am sure you don’t want to keep Lisa-Marie for long.”
Oh, he meant to keep Lisa-Marie alright. And he really needed to talk her off the dangerous ledge of anger that she was surely teetering on by now. He could not afford for her to jump off without letting him assure her of … whatever he was feeling right now. All he had to do was figure it out. And he could not do that in peace while Debbie was jabbering on.
“Debbie, why don’t you go and make sure you look the part of Mrs. Jackson? You look upset right now, and I need you to calm down, freshen up, and take it easy…think of the baby, please.”
And maybe she could manage to present herself in a way that did not make it seem like she was some farm hand.
Michael immediately chided himself for his unkind thoughts, even as visions of Lisa and him at countless events, matching each other’s outfits, dazzling everyone around them came to mind: The King and his Princess. Now it was more like the King and his Milk Maid.
Oh, God, he would have to say an extra set of prayers tonight to repent for all the recent infractions. What in the world had happened to him? It scared him to see this ugly side of himself.
Michael turned and headed toward the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Debbie’s accusing gaze was the last thing he saw before he shut out that part of his life to sort out another. He felt a twinge of guilt which he managed to block out, assuring himself it was in Debbie’s best interest to get to a calmer environment.
He braced against the closed door with both hands, standing there for a second with his head lowered against the cool wood. All he needed was this one second to collect his thoughts. He half expected to be assaulted by Lisa’s sarcasm and anger. When all he heard was silence, he turned and found the room empty. He heard the toilet flush followed by running water and wondered briefly if she was taking another shower. Women! They were so strange.
Dropping onto the bed, he sank back, gazing up at the ceiling, pondering how he would manage to calm Lisa down after that little lunch debacle. The bathroom door opened and seeing him, she stopped in the door, bracing one arm in the frame, her other arm on her hip. Something was off: she looked pale and had some red blotches on her cheeks. And why did it look like her hair was slightly damp?
“Are you ok?” It seemed like a safe enough question. She raised her eyes and he was met by sapphire sparks zapping him. Ok, maybe there was no safe question right now.
“What you think?”
“You look pale.”
“I don’t feel well.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you sick? Do you need a doctor? I can call one, you know.”
“No, I don’t need a doctor. Your little wife made my stomach turn, that’s all.”
“You got sick?”
“I’m fine.”
Well, she did not look fine. She was such a miserable liar at times. It was all right there on her face.
“Why don’t you sit down? Can I get you some ginger ale or something?”
“I’m fine, Michael. Really. I just got my nerves worked up. Which is so fucked up. I mean, seriously. What did I expect? I knew what you were doing here. I fucking knew it. And yet I came. The eternal glutton for punishment.”
“Look, I did not mean for you to have a run-in with her. I’m sorry. I’m sorry she rubbed in that she’s pregnant.”
“Oh, are you? Are you sorry she is carrying your baby, Michael? Are you?” Lisa glared at him through the curtain of tears in her eyes.
He swallowed. No, he was not. He might be sorry about the circumstances that had led him to this chaos, but he would never be sorry to have this little human being to look forward to. Even as he knew Lisa was thinking of the baby they had lost. And the babies she had denied them after that.
Lisa broke eye contact as he kept staring at her.
“Never mind, that wasn’t fair. Of course you’re not. Anyway. The fantasy is over. Back to reality. I will let you get to your little wife, and I will try and go on with my life.”
Her life? What did that mean? Her life with whom? Her life without him? Not if he had anything to say about it.
“I thought you agreed to stay another day or two.”
The sound she emitted was probably supposed to be some form of laughter but sounded like anything but.
“No, you presumed I did. But I served my function. You got your little fuck down memory lane.” She gave up her stance at the door and started to walk by the bed toward the door. Michael had jumped up at her last words.
“Will you cut out the shit? You know I can get a quick fuck if that’s what I want.”
He saw her staring at her arm and noticed he had grabbed her once again.
“Nice. So, why don’t you do that, then, next time you get frisky.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Stop cursing, Michael. You will get all upset at your saintly self later, and I don’t want to be responsible for all the guilty feelings.”
“No, you just want to be responsible for pissing me off. What is wrong with you? What do I have to do to convince you that this is not about quick sex. And you know what? You can cut it out, ‘cause I know that was not what it was for you, either. You did not have to fly halfway around the world to do that.”
No, she could have just stayed home and screwed Danny. The mere thought sliced through him like a scalpel. Of course, he was still not sure why they heck he even cared what she did. Except that he did.
“Don’t worry about it, Debbie. Please, why don’t you go ahead and wait for me in the other suite I reserved for you? Carlos can take you down there, it’s one floor lower.”
“You really don’t want me around, do you? You would rather spend time with Lisa. Lisa- the person who has hurt you so much in the past, Michael. Lisa, the person who lied to you and made you cry. Why is she even here? I really don’t understand this at all.”
“I think she was here on some business for Presley Enterprises. Anyway….look. We are friends now, that’s it. And we have some business ventures to discuss. Nothing to concern yourself with, I promise. I’ll see you later at the premiere. Carlos…”
He looked over at his body guard who had pretended to study the artwork in the hall by the door but jumped to attention despite Michael’s soft tone.
“Please take Miss Rowe to the suite downstairs and make sure she stays there to get ready.” His eyes added that Debbie better stay put or Carlos and the rest of his team would have to find an alternate plane ride as well as a new job.
Carlos nodded, assuring him without words that the message was received. “Sure thing, MJ. Come on, Miss Rowe, I will make sure you get there ok.”
“It’s Mrs. Jackson, Carlos. Michael, why don’t I just wait ‘til you are ready to leave here? I am sure you don’t want to keep Lisa-Marie for long.”
Oh, he meant to keep Lisa-Marie alright. And he really needed to talk her off the dangerous ledge of anger that she was surely teetering on by now. He could not afford for her to jump off without letting him assure her of … whatever he was feeling right now. All he had to do was figure it out. And he could not do that in peace while Debbie was jabbering on.
“Debbie, why don’t you go and make sure you look the part of Mrs. Jackson? You look upset right now, and I need you to calm down, freshen up, and take it easy…think of the baby, please.”
And maybe she could manage to present herself in a way that did not make it seem like she was some farm hand.
Michael immediately chided himself for his unkind thoughts, even as visions of Lisa and him at countless events, matching each other’s outfits, dazzling everyone around them came to mind: The King and his Princess. Now it was more like the King and his Milk Maid.
Oh, God, he would have to say an extra set of prayers tonight to repent for all the recent infractions. What in the world had happened to him? It scared him to see this ugly side of himself.
Michael turned and headed toward the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Debbie’s accusing gaze was the last thing he saw before he shut out that part of his life to sort out another. He felt a twinge of guilt which he managed to block out, assuring himself it was in Debbie’s best interest to get to a calmer environment.
He braced against the closed door with both hands, standing there for a second with his head lowered against the cool wood. All he needed was this one second to collect his thoughts. He half expected to be assaulted by Lisa’s sarcasm and anger. When all he heard was silence, he turned and found the room empty. He heard the toilet flush followed by running water and wondered briefly if she was taking another shower. Women! They were so strange.
Dropping onto the bed, he sank back, gazing up at the ceiling, pondering how he would manage to calm Lisa down after that little lunch debacle. The bathroom door opened and seeing him, she stopped in the door, bracing one arm in the frame, her other arm on her hip. Something was off: she looked pale and had some red blotches on her cheeks. And why did it look like her hair was slightly damp?
“Are you ok?” It seemed like a safe enough question. She raised her eyes and he was met by sapphire sparks zapping him. Ok, maybe there was no safe question right now.
“What you think?”
“You look pale.”
“I don’t feel well.”
His eyes narrowed. “Are you sick? Do you need a doctor? I can call one, you know.”
“No, I don’t need a doctor. Your little wife made my stomach turn, that’s all.”
“You got sick?”
“I’m fine.”
Well, she did not look fine. She was such a miserable liar at times. It was all right there on her face.
“Why don’t you sit down? Can I get you some ginger ale or something?”
“I’m fine, Michael. Really. I just got my nerves worked up. Which is so fucked up. I mean, seriously. What did I expect? I knew what you were doing here. I fucking knew it. And yet I came. The eternal glutton for punishment.”
“Look, I did not mean for you to have a run-in with her. I’m sorry. I’m sorry she rubbed in that she’s pregnant.”
“Oh, are you? Are you sorry she is carrying your baby, Michael? Are you?” Lisa glared at him through the curtain of tears in her eyes.
He swallowed. No, he was not. He might be sorry about the circumstances that had led him to this chaos, but he would never be sorry to have this little human being to look forward to. Even as he knew Lisa was thinking of the baby they had lost. And the babies she had denied them after that.
Lisa broke eye contact as he kept staring at her.
“Never mind, that wasn’t fair. Of course you’re not. Anyway. The fantasy is over. Back to reality. I will let you get to your little wife, and I will try and go on with my life.”
Her life? What did that mean? Her life with whom? Her life without him? Not if he had anything to say about it.
“I thought you agreed to stay another day or two.”
The sound she emitted was probably supposed to be some form of laughter but sounded like anything but.
“No, you presumed I did. But I served my function. You got your little fuck down memory lane.” She gave up her stance at the door and started to walk by the bed toward the door. Michael had jumped up at her last words.
“Will you cut out the shit? You know I can get a quick fuck if that’s what I want.”
He saw her staring at her arm and noticed he had grabbed her once again.
“Nice. So, why don’t you do that, then, next time you get frisky.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Stop cursing, Michael. You will get all upset at your saintly self later, and I don’t want to be responsible for all the guilty feelings.”
“No, you just want to be responsible for pissing me off. What is wrong with you? What do I have to do to convince you that this is not about quick sex. And you know what? You can cut it out, ‘cause I know that was not what it was for you, either. You did not have to fly halfway around the world to do that.”
No, she could have just stayed home and screwed Danny. The mere thought sliced through him like a scalpel. Of course, he was still not sure why they heck he even cared what she did. Except that he did.
Lisa’s shoulders slumped forward. She looked like all air went from her fierce little self. He was prepared for her anger. Seeing her look defeated took some of the wind out of his sails.
Her head was lowered and he touched her chin, lifting her head up, noticing the tear that had snuck from the icy layer of her eyes.
“Lise…”
She stubbornly wiped the tear away.
“Michael, what are we doing? This hurts too much. I should not have come. I should have stayed away from you. I thought it was painful to not have you around me…but hell, this is pure agony. I got to be with you again. And it was like…like…well, like we always are. But I can’t stand that. The one thing I cannot bear is to know what it feels like to feel you around me only to have you ripped away. I can’t do it. Don’t ask me to stand by and get little tastes of what I can no longer have.”
Was that what he was doing? Was he asking her to be on the outskirts, looking in like some orphan gazing at a family at the Christmas feast through frozen window panes? He never intended her to be on the outs. Well, he did for a while, when he was angry and disappointed at her faithless and childish attempt to force his hand by throwing their lives away. He had been willing to work things out. He had never intended to live a life without her. This whole crazy chain of events was her fault. Why then, did he feel like her words pulverized his soul?
“I’m not asking you to do that. You know I wouldn’t do that. Why would I want you to suffer? You may think I am punishing you, but if I ever did, I am over that. Really. I just want one thing: I want you to be patient.”
Wanting, no, needing Lisa to be patient was such a strange concept, it was odd to even put the words together. However, he knew he had hit the nail on the head. It might seem like saying he was planning an ice-palace in the middle of the Sahara, but hey, nothing was impossible. The expression in Lisa’s eyes seemed to disagree.
“Patient? For what?”
“For…for…” Words escaped him. He just had signed this darn contract and he would have a baby soon. A baby he always had intended to share with Lisa. All of a sudden he wondered if his original dream could not come true after all. Lisa loved children. He loved Riley and Danny, even though they were not biologically his. He had considered them all a family. So, would it really be so far-fetched to think Lisa could embrace his baby and make room in her heart for one more?
True, there was Debbie to deal with, but she had been pretty reasonable and she would be reimbursed handsomely. It might just work out after all. A couple of months ago he would never have guessed that he and Lisa might have another chance left, but the past night had given him such hope. Also, it had cemented the realization that he was not ready to let her go. He was not sure what he could risk to offer her right now. Heck, he was not sure how much of his hopes he could share with her without her flipping out. He had learned from his mistakes, though. Laying it all out for her had not worked out so well before, so he needed to play it smarter. So he just pleaded with her silently, his palms held out to her in a symbolic gesture. Lisa shook her head in frustration.
“Michael, you need to hear me. I cannot live with this. I can’t see her and her pregnant belly. I can’t see her fucking wedding ring. I can’t think that you are her husband. That you are hers now. Please don’t ask that of me. I am begging you.” Tears choked her and he felt the same restriction in his own throat.
He needed to make her understand. She was not listening.
“Lise, baby girl. You need to stop this. I am not hers. Don’t you know that? Don’t you know what’s going on? How many times do I have to tell you?” He stepped up closer to her again, trying to block out everything but his influence over her. Could she not see the truth in his eyes? Was she blind to the tone of his sincerity? How could she not feel his heart crying out to her?
“You can talk till you’re blue in the face. It won’t matter. The fact is she is carrying your baby. She is legally your wife. And…” She shook her head.
Michael cupped her face between both of his hands. Gosh, he forgot how small she looked at times. Her eyes looked huge as she implored him not to hurt her. Only a couple of days ago he had thought that hurting Lisa was fair pay-back if that was the price to pay. Now, he knew that they both had to go through this pain to have a chance. This was not going to be easy. But suddenly, giving her up for good was no longer a viable option. She was not going to stay alone. She hated being alone. And if he let her go, she would find someone else to attach to, making them both miserable.
“Baby, baby…nothing and. There is no ‘and.’ There is nothing. There is no love beyond friendship, there is no sex, there is no bond. Nothing! Don’t you see that? What do I have to do to prove it?”
Wanting, no, needing Lisa to be patient was such a strange concept, it was odd to even put the words together. However, he knew he had hit the nail on the head. It might seem like saying he was planning an ice-palace in the middle of the Sahara, but hey, nothing was impossible. The expression in Lisa’s eyes seemed to disagree.
“Patient? For what?”
“For…for…” Words escaped him. He just had signed this darn contract and he would have a baby soon. A baby he always had intended to share with Lisa. All of a sudden he wondered if his original dream could not come true after all. Lisa loved children. He loved Riley and Danny, even though they were not biologically his. He had considered them all a family. So, would it really be so far-fetched to think Lisa could embrace his baby and make room in her heart for one more?
True, there was Debbie to deal with, but she had been pretty reasonable and she would be reimbursed handsomely. It might just work out after all. A couple of months ago he would never have guessed that he and Lisa might have another chance left, but the past night had given him such hope. Also, it had cemented the realization that he was not ready to let her go. He was not sure what he could risk to offer her right now. Heck, he was not sure how much of his hopes he could share with her without her flipping out. He had learned from his mistakes, though. Laying it all out for her had not worked out so well before, so he needed to play it smarter. So he just pleaded with her silently, his palms held out to her in a symbolic gesture. Lisa shook her head in frustration.
“Michael, you need to hear me. I cannot live with this. I can’t see her and her pregnant belly. I can’t see her fucking wedding ring. I can’t think that you are her husband. That you are hers now. Please don’t ask that of me. I am begging you.” Tears choked her and he felt the same restriction in his own throat.
He needed to make her understand. She was not listening.
“Lise, baby girl. You need to stop this. I am not hers. Don’t you know that? Don’t you know what’s going on? How many times do I have to tell you?” He stepped up closer to her again, trying to block out everything but his influence over her. Could she not see the truth in his eyes? Was she blind to the tone of his sincerity? How could she not feel his heart crying out to her?
“You can talk till you’re blue in the face. It won’t matter. The fact is she is carrying your baby. She is legally your wife. And…” She shook her head.
Michael cupped her face between both of his hands. Gosh, he forgot how small she looked at times. Her eyes looked huge as she implored him not to hurt her. Only a couple of days ago he had thought that hurting Lisa was fair pay-back if that was the price to pay. Now, he knew that they both had to go through this pain to have a chance. This was not going to be easy. But suddenly, giving her up for good was no longer a viable option. She was not going to stay alone. She hated being alone. And if he let her go, she would find someone else to attach to, making them both miserable.
“Baby, baby…nothing and. There is no ‘and.’ There is nothing. There is no love beyond friendship, there is no sex, there is no bond. Nothing! Don’t you see that? What do I have to do to prove it?”
He had moved into her personal space now, his face inches from hers, his forehead almost touching hers.
Lisa closed her eyes against his pleas and shook her head. “Nothing, Mike. I don’t think there’s anything you can do.” The hopelessness in her voice reached out and threatened to suffocate him.
“Don’t’ say that. ‘Nothing’ doesn’t exist for me. Nothing is impossible. You know that. There is nothing I can’t do. Gimme limits and I will surpass them. You know you want me. You know what you feel when I am this close to you. Don’t tell me anyone has ever done this to you. Don’t tell me you expect to ever find that again. Don’t be stupid, Lise. Don’t throw this away. It ain’t gonna happen again. This is it, babe. You know that.”
She had to laugh. Really, he was surprised at the words that could be misconstrued as cocky. But he was dead serious. He had tried to run and hide- it had not worked out so well. If she wanted to lie to herself he was not about to be an accomplice. Lisa reached out and touched his cheek. The move surprised him. Never failing, her touch thrilled him, let little currents jump like sparkling goldfish across the synapses of his nervous system, causing that warm feeling in the pit of his stomach and a straining slightly lower. God- how could he give up this heavenly euphoria?
“I must be nuts to not want to slap your arrogant face after such a bullshit statement.”
“You wouldn’t wanna mess me up like that baby…” He winked at her and she brushed a strand of his hair from his forehead.
“No, you’re messed up enough already.” He noticed her voice had dropped and a different hue spread in her eyes.
There, they needed to stop this senseless talking and go back to doing what worked best. His words would never suffice to adequately convey what he needed her to grasp. Words were such a limited form of communication. He much preferred music or dance. Even if it was the music of her moans and the dance of their bodies. Plain language could never capture the universal, ancient forces he felt connecting them.
“Let me love you, baby girl. Let me show you what I can’t seem to get through your stubborn little head. I can prove to you how right this is. Gimme a chance. Give us a chance.”
His lips were tantalizing close to her. She smelled like mint and eucalyptus.
“You don’t play fair, Mister. “
“That’s ‘cause I’m not playing.”
“I must be nuts to not want to slap your arrogant face after such a bullshit statement.”
“You wouldn’t wanna mess me up like that baby…” He winked at her and she brushed a strand of his hair from his forehead.
“No, you’re messed up enough already.” He noticed her voice had dropped and a different hue spread in her eyes.
There, they needed to stop this senseless talking and go back to doing what worked best. His words would never suffice to adequately convey what he needed her to grasp. Words were such a limited form of communication. He much preferred music or dance. Even if it was the music of her moans and the dance of their bodies. Plain language could never capture the universal, ancient forces he felt connecting them.
“Let me love you, baby girl. Let me show you what I can’t seem to get through your stubborn little head. I can prove to you how right this is. Gimme a chance. Give us a chance.”
His lips were tantalizing close to her. She smelled like mint and eucalyptus.
“You don’t play fair, Mister. “
“That’s ‘cause I’m not playing.”
“Don’t you have to be somewhere?” Her voice was a whisper now, her eyes half closed.
“Yeah, I have to be somewhere alright. I have to be right here, proving to you what’s really important.”
He placed a soft kiss on her lips and she sighed into him.
“But…Debbie…”
“Shut up, just shut up, girl…” His lips closed over her rebellious mouth and she finally gave him the answer he needed. This was his chance: this was his opportunity to once again confirm for her why throwing the miracle into the gutter would be a mortal sin. And he meant to make the most of it. Michael was on a mission to hijack every single one of her nerve cells, every single emotion, and imprint his eternal golden seal on her to never let her forget what she was willing to abandon for the illusion of safety. His lips angled over hers kissing her thoroughly, his tongue claimed the prize and she submitted to his power, sighing into him, as her mouth, her lips, her tongue told him everything he needed to know about her true intentions.
(to be continued)
© 2010 and 2011 by Erika B. Michaels and PJWN, LLC. All Rights Reserved. This story is a work of fiction. Any names, places, and other identifying features are used in a fictional manner and are in no way representative of any actual events. All lyrics, song titles, photographs, song clips, and videos are copyright their creators. This work may not be reproduced, transmitted, copied, or stored without express written permission from PJWN, LLC.
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